[Charisma1]

My five year old son believes that my significant other is his father. We got together when he was just a few months old, and he is a wonderful dad. Just last year we decided to have another child, another little boy. My biggest fears were that there was going to be a change towards the way my boyfriend treats my oldest. I was very wrong they are just as close as ever. However my boyfriends mother has very disappointed not only myself but my boyfriend as well. She just bought herself a grandmothers ring and it had only three stones my oldest son wasn't on there. I was very surprised when my boyfriend told her to remove the baby's stone if she wasn't going to include our other son. It has now come to the point where I am starting to feel that if she can't treat them equal then she won't be allowed to visit either one of them. Is that the right thing to do? Please help because there is no one going to mistreat either one of my babies and how do I address this without upsetting my boyfriend? Thank You, Charisma

[twinkiedooter]

Grandma is probably upset that you two are not married. If you two got married and he adopted the first son I am sure she would feel differently. Whatever you do, don't deny her seeing them just because of some ring thing. That's silly. She can wear whatever ring she wants to with how many stones in it. Possibly she feels that one stone equals a blood grandson.

[Alty]

Some people can never fully accept a child if there is no blood tie. It's sad, and your oldest son shouldn't have to suffer because of it, but there's little that you can do that won't start a fight.

How often do you see her, if it isn't often then let it slide and hope that she smartens up. It seems that your boyfriend loves your son very much, I don't think he has to be told that his mothers behavior is inappropriate. Just wait and see what happens.

Good Luck.