[Tyne26]

Hi everyone,

Im from the UK and I'm beginning to become owrried about the way I'm behaving... I have been teased about the way I look since I was at high school. I have an underbite in my jaw and females used to say I wasn't good looking. I lost all my confidence and it has never returned... I eventually got the operation to change this but the damage has been done mentally... I constantly obsess over negative things in my past... the only way I can feel good for a short time is by re-thining a negative thougth and being convinced by someone that there are positives... I have bee put forward for counselling which failed to work on me last time... I am always unhappy, never relaxed and sometimes I never want to waken up... im going to lose my girlfriend because of the way myself esteem is... I don't even know why I'm putting this on here cause none of you have a cure... I am so depressed and uptight and I hate me and my life

[albear]

Counselling in my opinion is a bit overrated, but maybe you could request to be assesed by a psychologist instead, I know of something called EFT, which might be able to relieve you of the effects of your negative thoughts, just a thought.

[Tyne26]

counselling in my opinion is a bit overrated, but maybe you could request to be assesed by a psychologist instead, i know of something called EFT, which might be able to relieve you of the effects of your negative thoughts, just a thought.

Thanks for the reply

What is EFT??

[albear]

EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else this is a good explanation of it but it can till cover more areas than there are on here

[Choux]

Sounds like you are sick and tired of being sick and tired of your life.

So, that means that *you* are ready to do something about it! Yes?

Time to make a fun life for yourself by adding new things such as hobbies and sports... lose the "loser identity" that you are clinging to and make happiness. :)

A well balanced life is important in order to have a happy, enjoyable life. Eventually, you are going to want to have two sports you participate in, a hobby, an activity that stretches your mind, new friends to hang out with, a new girlfriend, and volunteering your time to help others...

Start today, find your first sport and start getting into it. :)

Very, very best wishes in 2008,

[Illusion]

Hello dear one. Let us talk about what has been bothering you. Having been teased and made fun of myself, I can relate. Being teased about something is so hurtful. And to be told you are not very attractive can only add to the misery. Trust me I know how it can be. I can see why you would obsess over the past, you have been hurt and you are trying to find a resolution - a way to let go of the hurt - and your mind goes back over and over what has happened.

And the counseling could fail - yes I agree with you because you need to start with the basics. If you do not have the basics then no matter how reasonable, no matter how nice, or how many explanations, it could fail.

The depression could also just be your anger about being hurt - yes, after the hurt comes the anger and how to move on. And sometimes when you cannot channel that anger then it turns into self-hate. You have been in touch with your pain and it is real. Yourself has been hurt. Yourself is in need of recognition, of acknowledgement - this is human, this is a need for you as it is for all of us. Some people have had good experiences and these experiences and the support and love they got from their parents have established for them a happy life - and a strong self who rebounds when they are hurt.

The key is that we must work on the self - you, your alliance to yourself and to develop that self. The self is that you that has been hurt, the one that is angry, the one who wants to live - even the one that wrote here to ask how do I cope. You are alive and alert and aware - otherwise how could you know that you have been hurt and feel it - the teasing and how it made you feel. We have to separate the self - you - from the experience. For example, the teasing was an experience - it is not you. You are the self that is real, courageous, opinionated, gentle, friendly, - you exist outside of every experience.

You must re-establish this you - and the core of this is that no matter what has ever happened, no matter how painful, how humiliating, - there is a part of you that will never be damaged, a part of you that is always whole and complete, right here, and right now. You - your spirit, yourself - remains silent within, enlighten by truth, guided to goodness by your very desire to have goodness in your life - for yourself and others. There is no confusion. You know the truth, - instinctively we know the truth because we come to this life to be good, to seek happiness, friendship, abundance, acceptance - goodness is our natural state of being for you and every person who is alive. You want success like every other living soul. This is what I believe. The real you is what you are seeking - counseling is just one avenue of how to gain this inner recognition. There is an answer.

I want to ask you to begin at once to get this book - 365 Science of Mind - and to read an affirmation each day. But do it. You can order it on amazon.com. You will find comfort in each affirmation and you will be guided to a new recognition, new knowledge of how life works - to a better life. This is just a beginning for you. Let us recognize your strengths and build on that for a stronger, more focused self - let us build on the you that is now demanding to be heard. Your heart will not rest until it knows its truth. And the truth is that you are all right, you are meaningful because you are a part of this universe and of it. Yes! This book will help you and show you how to do this for yourself - it just comes right at you and sets it straight my friend. So this is a good thing - an excellent quest for you - to find yourself and your true self. Stay active - read all that you can about the self -participate in group therapy, join in, write, take a class, learn. Its all good.

And then let us put these people who have hurt you into perspective - you don't need them and their cruelty, their selfishness - you need nothing from them and their misery which they spread around. Do not accept this misery. It is not yours, never has been. Release it now back to them and let it go. Do this always when you run into any kind of people who try to hurt you.

I will leave you with this thought from the science of mind, "Within myself is that which is perfect, that which is complete, that which is divine, that which was never born and cannot die, that which lives - the eternal reality. Within myself is peace, poise, power, wholeness and happiness. All the power that there is and all the life that there is, is this living spirit almighty, within me. This is the truth about myself, there is no other self. Peace, poise power, perfection, living spirit within me, is me, myself."

Write back and say how you are doing. Bless you always.