[srulik86]

Hi,
Me and my ex got back together last week, after being on off the last 6 months. She said that she came to realise so much etc and doesn't want to loose me. But already I'm starting to my problems. I'm constantly worried that she'll do what she did before... go all weird, cold and wait for me to dump her. She went back home to where she lives this weekend to see her family, whilst I pined oer her all Saturday. I was much better yesterday but when I called her last night she hung up 3 times until eventually she answered. I said 'u OK?' she said 'yea' I said 'look ill let you go if your busy' and she wa slike 'what you being like that for?' I said 'well I can't understand why ud hang up on me.' she said 'i was just in the living room and I thought id fone you back later.Now is it me or does that seem a bit rude. I think she soon realised how rude that was, since she started being all over me on the fone saying how she can't wiat to see me, what things she wants us to do, and literally 30 seconds after we said goodbye, she text me saying 'i miss u.' which is all nice but I couldn't help but get annoyed at her hanging up on me. Because instantly, her doing that I thought 'great she's being funny with me again like she wa slast time before we split up' I haven't said anymore on the subject... but please tell me... am I in the wrong here? Should I be feeling bad?

[SJB1701E]

Starting over is a very hard thing to do. I'm in the middle of that myself. Been back together for a month. The one big thing I learned from my break up is to pick your battles. Yea it was rude of her.. very rude. She COULD have answered and told you she'd call you back later. That would have been a better way for her to do things. However, people don't always do the right things nor do they always see things the same way you do. Given the scope of the incident, I'd let it go. There's a saying, "Is this the hill you want to die on?" To me, making this a bigger issue than the tiny annoyance that it is will only hurt things for both of you. Its not worth it. Let it go. As for your fears and concerns about her doing the same things all over again that lead to the breakup, those are very valid concerns and something you should be cautios about. Look for early warning signs and keep communication lines as open as you can with her. This will help you build a better relationship and keep history from repeating itself. However, be careful not to let your concerns set yourself up for failure. Don't let them consume you. Hope this helps.

[srulik86]

Cheers, that helps a lot! Yea I instantly let it go and we had a good chat... and she was nice as anything after, and we're looking forward to a nice weekend 2gther next weekend... I just started to worry that she thinks I'm starting to get paranoid etc like I was when we used to go out... which I'm not, I just got annoyed at her rudeness. I'll see her tomorrow night and won't bring it up again. But yea, thanks for your reply. I started to think it was my fault and I was being unreasonable and being paranoid. etc.

[talaniman]

am I in the wrong here? Should I be feeling bad?

You shouldn't be confused either. Step back and forget the words, look at the actions. Is this what you would consider a caring loving relationship? Or is it a one sided attempt to hold on to what you think you have?