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kaneda · May 3, 2008, 10:05 AM

Day 30 is the milestone eeek It seems so ffar way... Till now I only managed 5 day NC and now I'm at the end of day 6 :)

classicrocker · May 3, 2008, 03:15 PM

Well I'm back to day 1 no contact. Lol I'm determind this time,probably more than ever. But hey bigbird, I'm looking into buying a bike too. I'm thinking it will actually help keep my mind off my ex. Being free, one with the road so to speak. And gas will be saved like never before. I'm excited about that.

confusionmax · May 3, 2008, 09:15 PM

day 6 and I broke NC. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I went online after about two weeks. Last I was on it was two days before my boyfriend told me he didn't see us together and felt he was trying to hard to fall for me. Anyway, we were having a conversation online two days before. We both were involved in some celebrations. People from my community came together and were celebrating in another city few days before. He was with his friend talking to some girl. I was close by with my friends. Surprisingly I meet one of my exs from 10 yrs back. We met, I gave him a friendly hug and we just stood their talking for a few minutes. All of us (we all had traveled from this city to the other) came back. My boyfriend and I were talking online that night and he kind of told me he saw me turning into one of my friends who flirts with anyone and everyone. I was taken aback. I'm generally considered the conservative type who is very professional and highly respected by my peers. I was like what are you talking about. He didn't go into details, he was like I just wanted u to know that. I let it slide. I told him how I met my ex after ten years and along with all my other friends. I never hid anything from him, nor did I want to. He was like OK.. I thought he logged off, so I logged off too. I didn't log back on until now and what I saw was an I-m that said, "if u find ur ex attractive, dont let me be the one to stop u." well apparently, I made no comment about that because I never saw it, nor did he say anything. Two days later we break. I've been maintaining nc.. but now that I saw this, I lost it. I figured this was the reason.. that he thought I would cheat on him or something. So he just bailed. I sent him an email saying I wasn't sure what happened, but this is what my imagination stirred up. I basically tried to tell him that if after all this time, he saw me as such a cheap, lowly person who had no values and ethics, then he doesn't know me at all and if I'm right about this, then I don't know what else to say. And left it at that. Was my reasoning wrong?

kaneda · May 3, 2008, 10:33 PM

This is the start of day 7.I never made it that far so I'm pretty proud of myself. :)

classicrocker · May 4, 2008, 10:16 AM

All right day 2 of NC. Still waking up is the hardest part.but there are good days and there are the bad. Not much I can do about that. I have one problem that I'm not sure if anyone else has... I have a college class with her every Tuesday and Thursday. I'm not talking to her in the class or anything but is their anything else I can do to make it easyer?

kaneda · May 4, 2008, 11:12 AM

classicrocker - be civil with her. Do not show and preach about your hurt feelings,your relationship on so on.Be business,no drama,no over-emotion.Dont play it too cool though,just act as a regular guy.

losingit77 · May 4, 2008, 02:33 PM

Day 15! 3 more days and I reach my own personal best. (Last time on the 18th day he called and I foolishly answered and we wound up getting back together for another 7 months... only to break up again for the same stupid reasons). Agh!!

My dilemma is now that his b-day is in 5 days and I don't know what to do. Last time we spoke other than him telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was for everything he actually said to me "you'll call me for my b-day, right?"... I don't want to be a b*tch but I want to do what's best for me. I'm thinking maybe I'll just send him a voicemail this way I don't have to actually talk to him that just says "happy birthday, hope all is well, bye"... But I also don't want to be a chump! We'll see how strong I feel later this week. If I'm strong enough, I'll do it.. if not, I won't. I don't want to get pulled back into any confusion. I know, NC means NC... its just hard when these things come up in the middle of them. He has attempted contacted twice and I ignored it so I don't know what to do. I think at least it'll show him that I'm OK and not a crying sad mess anymore.

I'm trying to live everything now by the motto, "just play it cool"...

ISneezeFunny · May 4, 2008, 02:37 PM

I had the same dilemma for the birthday... my thing was: they want you out of their lives, then that's exactly what they get. Calling/leaving v-mail/texting for birthdays... open up a hole for communication. Do what you feel is best for you. If you don't feel like contacting them, then don't. There's no wrong to it... yes, they may think you're a jerk for not calling, but... it's what they wanted right?

talaniman · May 4, 2008, 05:53 PM

My dilemma is now that his b-day is in 5 days and I don't know what to do. Last time we spoke other than him telling me how much he loved me and how sorry he was for everything he actually said to me "you'll call me for my b-day, right?"... I don't want to be a b*tch but i want to do what's best for me.

Stay with NO CONTACT. Keep the door closed. Its his birthday, and your attention, is not his present. Why give him false hope?

losingit77 · May 4, 2008, 06:03 PM

Sneeze/Tal - I know you're both right. I was thinking a lot about it today and I was like wait, why would I wish him a happy b-day. If he wants me out of his life, than I'm out of his life. Regardless of how "friendly" the breakup was, the fact of the matter is, I still got dumped. So why in the world should I give him one more second of my attention? He gave that up the second he walked away from us. I'm tired of being the nice girl to him. Its over!

talaniman · May 4, 2008, 06:27 PM

He gave that up the second he walked away from us.

Looking out for yourself doesn't make you a beeyatch at all. Plus its okay to be one, if it protects your own interests, right!

kaneda · May 4, 2008, 10:29 PM

Today marks the first week of NC.Yay :(
Losingit77, keeping the NC and not giving your power away is a fine advice but think of that : why not just politely and coldly wish him a happy birthday? There's nothing wrong with being a genuine nice person.And IF he tries to communicate after that- no.Keep NC.There - you were friendly.

flatron · May 4, 2008, 11:28 PM

Yeah I am on this train.
Was really tempted to e-mail. "if when you think of me your hurt and stuff... doesn't this mean u still love me...?"
We broke up more than 3 month ago. And been on nc few times. Once for two weeks than told my ex wasn't ready but than was contacted a week later... than now we are on out 3rd NC. Its been 3 weeks now. But I contacted my ex yesterday by text, which I am letting go :P
Aiming for about 3 months before I try talking to my ex...
My ex has a new lover... I really want my ex back...
Thing that worries me the most is them getting over me :(
This is when I panic... I think... maybe I am letting them go...
The problem is that... I dumped my ex and now I want them back. I have asked and my ex said no.
Haha. And my ex did pretty much the NC technique so it differently works.

classicrocker · May 5, 2008, 10:44 AM

OK day 3 of no contact. And I woke up feeling decent... weird. I mean she's still on my mind... but I don't feel like crap this morning. Things are looking up?

jpm247 · May 5, 2008, 11:09 AM

Well I've hit the big number 60.

Bar a minor run in, in the street, its been 60 clear days of NC.

Am I better, yes
Do I miss her, yes
Can I see a bright future for me despite the pain I went through, yes
Did I die, no
Did I feel crap for a fair while, yes

But I'm still here, doing all good.

Haven't met anybody that floats my boat just yet, but no hurry. I'm just glad that I'm so much better than I was, and I my day is no longer full of thoughts of her.

I miss my ex terribly, buts its just one of those things.

Keep going all, it does get better.

ISneezeFunny · May 5, 2008, 11:14 AM

Jpm, has it really been 60 days for you? It seems like you were just here telling us about how you started NC... congrats!

Usually, 90's the goal... and after 90, you'll be much better.

nickshehe · May 5, 2008, 12:45 PM

33 or 34 for me.. I was fortunate enough to have broken the first run in of NC quite early and I got rejected outright.. so sticking to it 2nd time around was a lot easier than most people :)
I also deleted her phone number so that probably saved me several times when I was drunk... I have to go through my phone bills to find it and I don't think any drunk is capable of doing that :)

jpm247 · May 5, 2008, 01:45 PM

I'll raise a glass when I get to 90 sneeze :)

George_1950 · May 5, 2008, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by jpm247

i'll raise a glass when i get to 90 sneeze :)

Just wondering if a group of folks on AMHD has actually had a synchronous toast?

len21 · May 5, 2008, 02:42 PM

I wish I could delete his num off my ph I know it off my heart!! It has been my downfall wayyyyy to many times! My ex picked me up from the airport again this week, we kissed in the car was dumb felt like all over again plus toatally rejected. I am going on a movie date with a guy tonight who is really into me kind of freaks me out but will keep me distracted.