[jammyb]

Hi all,

I already had a post on here which relates to this, but I just need to see what you guys have to say about the situation.

I broke up with this girl just over a month ago after living together became unbearable. For a good couple of months she was cold a distant and talking to this other guy a lot.

I think they've now moved in together. Whether I'm looking too much into this I don't know, but there's been a number of lines of evidence to support this. I went to her house a few days back and she had food in the house that she never liked (eg coffee, beer etc). She's also put the house up for sale, and had all the curtains drawn (in the afternoon) when I went there a few days before. The most convincing thing though was a wall post on her Facebook page from her friend saying " hey how's things in [new town]? How's [guy's name]?"

I'd say this is pretty convincing, but part of me thinks he might just be a friend, as he does kind of have gay tendencies. But why would she deny any relationship with him if he is just a friend? Anyway what I want to know is is this a rebound, or not? I can't help but think this has been going on for a while. Is it going to last because I cannot believe that after 2 and a half years she can just jump straight back into another relationship like that. Any input guys?

[nickshehe]

Well to be honest, it shouldn't matter what it is.. You broke up with her- and for whatever reason you did-it was your call.. You should let her be happy or let her self-destruct.
Whatever the case, your question was different : in order to guess what this is, you have to give us some background information on the nature of the break up.. to determine if this could be a rebound or not.. But most of the times it is a rebound.. As an ex though you should steer clear of her life and let her get over you-when the time is right you will be friends again.

[JBeaucaire]

Breaking up with her isn't complete yet. She still has your attention. That's unfortunate.

To answer you questions, it doesn't matter what she's doing, who with, how long it will last, was it happening earlier, her favorite color, the war in Iraq... all meaningless in your current situation. It's over, but your heart and your mind are still stuck.

You need some distractions. You need to ground yourself. No looking at Facebook. No driving by her house and checking curtains. No despairing thoughts of "why" and "when" and "how"... she isn't doing anything to you right now, you're doing it all to yourself.

Cut it out.

[jammyb]

Just to get this straight, I did have legitimate reasons for going to the house, mainly to pick up my stuff and sort old bills out etc. I think things have been going okay on the whole as far as getting over it is concerned. I have talked to her twice since the split and that was for practical purposes. Its just a bit unbelievable. I do agree with you both though, its time to move on. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger eh. Thanks a lot

[Fr_Chuck]

Does not surprise me one bit, often they move right out of your house to the other guys house or the guy moves right in with the other girl.
Or the guy kicks girl one out and I doubt even changes sheets before girl two is moved in.

So no not a surpise at all. You need to read a few of the posts we get on here. After years on these types of board this one is actually mild.

[bigbird213]

I do agree with you both though, its time to move on. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger eh. Thanks alot

That's the right attitude. Spending your time contemplating these things will do nothing but slow you down. Get it out of your head.


Oh yeah, and stay off Facebook :)

[talaniman]

Please hurry, and settle your business with her. Then your focus, and attentions, can be on something other than what she is doing.