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pd6778 · Apr 28, 2008, 03:36 PM

I was wondering is it normal for my husband to go online porno 3 times a week or whenever I'm not home?

pd6778 · Apr 28, 2008, 03:37 PM

I was wondering is it normal for my husband to go online porno 3 times a week or whenever I'm not home? Or does this means that he is cheating behind my back mentally

babyxlynn · Apr 28, 2008, 03:54 PM

I personaly think that if he is looking but not touching then that's fine as lonng he don't start going and ing other women behind your backk...

amIwrong · Apr 28, 2008, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by pd6778

I was wondering is it normal for my husband to go online porno 3 times a week or whenever I'm not home?

Who can really say what is normal? Has he always been like this and you just now found out? Is it a recent development? Is you activity level the same? I am the wrong person to ask if it is normal or not, I have a problem with people looking for crying out loud. If it were me though, the only way it would bother me would be if he was choosing it over me. Otherwise I would look at it as him using a device, of sorts, as an aid to a high sex drive that is not relieved because you aren't there. If he is choosing it over you, or it's affecting his desire to be with you then I would say it's a problem.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 28, 2008, 04:07 PM

If he was just going a few times a week, OK, normal for men who look at porn ( a lot of men never look at porn) the issue of looking at it every time you are gone, like he is asamed to see you looking at it.

It can give him a bad idea of women, if he is masterbating to it, there can be issues there if it is excessive. And finally, if he can not stop, then it is a serioius problem

smoothy · Apr 29, 2008, 05:03 AM

Its normal... and its not cheating.

However I personally draw the line with personal interaction. If he is in chat rooms on the porn sites that can get into a grey area or cross the line.

pd6778 · Apr 29, 2008, 10:13 AM

Thanks you guys, it makes me feel a lot better after reading your quick input regarding this situation.

Choux · Apr 29, 2008, 01:44 PM

He is a porn addict, in my opinion.

You may want to read a book about porn addiction to famaliarize yourself with how porn addiction effects men.

Synnen · Apr 29, 2008, 02:55 PM

3 times a week is an addiction? Seriously?

I thought an addiction was defined by how it affects the REST of your life, not by how often you do something. I thought an addiction was something you couldn't give up, not something you choose to do for whatever reason.

My god, I can't believe how often "porn addict" is thrown out there blindly. That's like saying that anyone that has a beer a couple nights a week after work is an alcoholic. Maybe SOME of those people are, but certainly not ALL of them.

Get a grip, folks.

topladyj · Apr 29, 2008, 03:20 PM

Not starting any crap but I feel that is an addiction too. If he does it every week three times a week that's not for fun its an addiction. That's 144 days a year kind of a bit for someone who is not addicted. I know how you feel cause my boyfriend does it too. It makes you feel rejected to an extent, like why the heck doesn't he wait till we get home. Anyway did you ever figure out how to handle your situation?

kp2171 · Apr 29, 2008, 03:54 PM

Well... how is your life in the bedroom?

If it makes no difference, and all seems well... then it isn't hurting the relationship other than you might have some issues with his hiding it.

If things in the bedroom are off, then he is distracting himself and likely self stimulating to satiate his own body, while neglecting you... then it's a problem.

I tend to feel that if the couple can't share it, and its hurting the union, then its an issue, an addiction, or at least its more important than a healthy, happy union.

But you don't state how your life is in the bedroom, so only you know if you are feeling neglected.

amIwrong · Apr 30, 2008, 06:03 AM

I agree with you and "topladyj" among others. The amount should not dictate an addiction per se, I mean, if someone drank booze 10 times a week, then we're bordering a gray area at least. I mean, I have known alcoholics to function and work just fine, drive just fine, etc but are drunk all the time ,just because they were fine and it did not affect other areas of their life sort to speak does not mean they didn't have an addiction. So, while I agree the amount in of itself should not dictate an addiction, it may be an indicator of one at least. I agree with you that it's how if affects the rest of his life. Does he hide it from you, does it affect your personal relationship, etc. If not it may just be a high sex drive and that's a good thing if you do to.
Pornography addiction - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Originally Posted by Synnen

3 times a week is an addiction? Seriously?

I thought an addiction was defined by how it affects the REST of your life, not by how often you do something. I thought an addiction was something you couldn't give up, not something you choose to do for whatever reason.

My god, I can't believe how often "porn addict" is thrown out there blindly. That's like saying that anyone that has a beer a couple nights a week after work is an alcoholic. Maybe SOME of those people are, but certainly not ALL of them.

Get a grip, folks.

pd6778 · Apr 30, 2008, 11:15 AM

I had confronted him before and he said that every guy does it and that it is normal. I even threaten him that I too will be lurking through playgirl myself and he said I hope you really get horny and do me well. What am I suppose to reply after that comment:mad:

amIwrong · Apr 30, 2008, 11:24 AM

That's gross, to me anyway. I mean, if I am all hot and bothered it should because of the person I am intimate with, not someone else, this isn't a three way. If I were into someone else then I wouldn't be with him. That's just me though. So, I can't say what he does is right or wrong. A lot of people will tell you that he is normal, a few people will tell your normal. In the end you have to decide if you can handle it.

Whatever your choice, you can't be crazy about it. For example, if you decide you want to stay with him, as it's not so big to want to leave (?) then you can't beat him over the head with it for the remainder of the relationship. That being the case, you may find yourself turned off by him, so then, you have to decide to leave. You can't ask him not to do it, in a way, because he will anyway and then just lie about it and you don't want that. Maybe take some time to think about all of this. Separate for a while and clear your head. His response tells me he is not very sensitive to how you feel, so, right or wrong if a person cared they should want to find a way to work through it.

Originally Posted by pd6778

I had confronted him before and he said that every guy does it and that it is normal. I even threaten him that I too will be lurking through playgirl myself and he said I hope you really get horny and do me well. What am I suppose to reply after that comment:mad:

Choux · Apr 30, 2008, 01:46 PM

I sense some tension here... I want to make it clear that my interest in the harmful effects of pornography, and porn addiction ONLY APPLIES TO YOUNGER PEOPLE... that would be teens up to folks in their 30's.

Many older people, usually married, use porn as a regular part of their sex lives, and they both enjoy it. They report no sexual dysfunction or inability to perform without it.

Also, I have no problem with those who cannot get a partner using porn... some elderly, handicapped, and so forth.

Most of the questions here are from younger people... they need good advice, and I think based on research and reports, that excessive porn viewing(porn addiction) is harmful to them.

Enjoy life!

Crabbergirl · Apr 30, 2008, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

He is a porn addict, in my opinion.

You may want to read a book about porn addiction to famaliarize yourself with how porn addiction effects men.

I agree! I have been with a porn addict. You may only be seeing the internet porn. Nothing says there is not more. Pay close attention to detail. Sex is a private matter but if you feel uneasy then trust your gut. Women are usually right!

Handyman2007 · May 1, 2008, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

He is a porn addict, in my opinion.

You may want to read a book about porn addiction to famaliarize yourself with how porn addiction effects men.

I cannot agree with this statement. You do not have enough information to make a general statement like that. If I were to read the Bible three times a week , would that make me addicted to the Bible?? Same premise. If a person has a drink three times a week , does that make him an alcoholic?? I could go on and on.

Handyman2007 · May 1, 2008, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by Crabbergirl

I agree! I have been with a porn addict. You may only be seeing the internet porn. Nothing says there is not more. Pay close attention to detail. Sex is a private matter but if you feel uneasy then trust your gut. Women are usually right!

WOW! How sexist is that statement?? Who do you worship . Gloria Steinem??

Handyman2007 · May 1, 2008, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

3 times a week is an addiction? Seriously?

I thought an addiction was defined by how it affects the REST of your life, not by how often you do something. I thought an addiction was something you couldn't give up, not something you choose to do for whatever reason.

My god, I can't believe how often "porn addict" is thrown out there blindly. That's like saying that anyone that has a beer a couple nights a week after work is an alcoholic. Maybe SOME of those people are, but certainly not ALL of them.

Get a grip, folks.

I am glad I am not the only one who shares this opinion. If a man wants to have sex with his wife three times a week does that make him a sex addict?? GEEZ people get a grip!!

Handyman2007 · May 1, 2008, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by topladyj

not starting any crap but I feel that is an addiction too. if he does it every week three times a week thats not for fun its an addiction. Thats 144 days a year kind of a bit for someone who is not addicted. I know how you feel cause my bf does it too. It makes you feel rejected to an extent, like why the heck doesn't he wait till we get home. Anyways did you ever figure out how to handle your situation?

So you are saying the 1/3 of the year makes him a porn addict. What is he the other 2/3 of the year?? I cannot believe these answers on this subject. I guess it would be politically correct to say that anyone that does anything for more than once in a lifetime is some kind of addict?!