[lovingLynn]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 18 months and are ready to get married. We have picked a date that we want and everything. The thing is I don't know how to tell my parents. Me and him are both young, me 16 and him almost 18(dont say "you are to young to know what love is" I hear it enough and I know I am old enough to know. My aunt and uncle have been together since 7th grade and have three girls and have adopted my little brother) My mother does not care for him, but my father loves him and know that he will make me happy. So please give me some advice of what to do.

[justcurious55]

My advice, if you guys are so in love wait to get married. There should be no rush. If you guys can't wait a little longer to get married you'll never suurvive being married.

[lovingLynn]

We are going to wait till I am out of college at age 22. That's the date we picked. We are not really rushing anything, I just thought that my parents would like to know.

[Alty]

I deleted my post when I saw that you were waiting until after college. Your original post wasn't clear, it sounded like you were getting married now, at the age of 16. I answer so many posts from 16 year olds wanting to get married, wanting to have a baby, it's never ending and very frustrating. You and I posted at the same time, when I read that you are waiting I deleted my post because I realized that you were actually being smart about this.

Okay, now that I've said that, why doesn't your mom like him, do their personalities clash or is it something he's done? Considering the fact that you aren't rushing into marriage I can't see why your parents would be upset.

[lovingLynn]

She says he isn't good enough for me. I have had a few boyfriends and she has only liked one, who is still my best friend. He can be a little bit of a smart butt at times, but has gotten a lot better about it. She has messed up a lot of things, been married twice an engaged about 4 times. She doesn't want that for me. But other then me and Steven she doesn't care. A few months back I complained of chest pains and difficulty breathing and she did nothing but go see her boyfriend, leaving me alone.

[Alty]

Well it sounds like she's just concerned, but if he hasn't given her an actual reason to dislike him then there should be no reason why she does. You are 16 now, and you're parents still have allot to say about the things you do and who you see, but since you are waiting until you are 22 to get married they won't have allot to say about it then. You have 6 years to show your mom what a good guy he is, maybe she will, maybe she won't, in the end it's your life not hers.

Honey, the fact is that you don't have to have their permission when you are 22, but right now you do, so don't rock the boat. Maybe it's better to wait and tell them when it's closer to the date. It's up to you, you know them better than we do.

Good Luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, why even tell them, just let it wait till you are latter, if at 18 you are still together, make it public and official.

[lovingLynn]

Yes I know. I think she dislikes him because he reminds her a lot of her exhusband/ my father. I don't see why she would get mad about that though. She loved my father, at one time, and he still loves her; but he wants her to be happy so he doesn't say anything.

[N0help4u]

According to your first post here a couple weeks ago you either need to tell your parents within the next few weeks or they will see for themselves shortly after if you do not.

[Fr_Chuck]

You know I tried to be nice and say something to be supportive, but the more I have thought about it today, if you want to be an adult and act like an adult ( if you believe you are in love ** sorry you don't even know what love really is at 16 no matter what you think**)

But if you beleve you are old enough, then you have to be grown up enough to face your fears and deal with what happens when you make your own choices

[N0help4u]

I think the bigger concern is telling your parents you are pregnant.
You need to tell them you are planning on marrying him before they see you are pregnant.

[justcurious55]

Now I'm totally lost. Are you pregnant and is that really why you want to get married?
I've never understood long engagements. When I think of an engagement I think of it as just long enough to plan a wedding. But if you're 16 now and don't want to get married until your 22 anyway then just wait until you're older, you'r feelings could totally change (I went through this already. I thought I would marry one of my bf's and have the whole happily ever after when I was 16. Ha. Now we've broken up and talk occasionally when we have no one else to talk to. Lol)

[Alty]

Okay, wow, you're pregnant at 16? Ignore my previous posts, I thought you were being mature in deciding to wait until you are 22 to get married. Didn't you also yell at me that you are not planning on having a baby anytime soon, sorry hun, if you're pregnant than it will be soon. This is not maturity. Darn it, I was fooled again, you actually had me believing that you were not another misguided teen, my bad, wrong again.

[KalFour]

Guys, I'm pretty sure she didn't say she was pregnant... where did that come from?

OK. As for the parents, I wouldn't worry about it, as you've decided to get married in 6 years. They don't need to know straight away.

But if you really want them to know, and believe your love is genuine, act like the adult you want to be and TELL them.

It sounds as though your mother has had a lot of bad relationships, and doesn't want you to repeat her mistakes. Just be patient, and hope that she gets used to your boyfriend in time.

Kal

[Alty]

KalFOur, here's the link;

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ng-204443.html

[KalFour]

Oh!
Yeah, worry about that first! Forget marriage, I'm sure telling them they're going to be grandparents is a bigger issue!

[Fr_Chuck]

And with that said, I will go back to my orgainal answer that if you believed you were old enough to act grown up, you now have to be grown up. You go tell them, period, hard but has to be done

[lovingLynn]

Actually I posted that for a friend of mine to scared to ask someone. She asked that I say it was me, and I am a good enough friend to say it was I and not her.

[N0help4u]

Well you need to either wait until you are 18 or parents consent.
You say your dad loves him so why not have a "what if....?" talk with him and see what he says.

[lovingLynn]

Already did. I am a big daddy's girl so it is shocking that he is so willing to give me up. I am the youngest of three girls (from him I also have three little brothers from him) and his favorite. But my dad says he wants me to be happy.