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jalcala · Apr 24, 2008, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

You need to document everything. Als, you need to be more proactive, not reactive.

That's what kills me... I document everything.
Including detail minutes of how long I talk to our daughter.

Problem begins when the Judge refuses to see the evidence?!

ScottGem · Apr 24, 2008, 11:52 AM

Your writing down things is not going to impress the judge that much. You need to back it up with police reports, psychologist reports, teacher reports, etc.

jalcala · Apr 24, 2008, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Your writing down things is not going to impress the judge that much. You need to back it up with police reports, psychologist reports, teacher reports, etc.

You are right... that's why I have at least 20 police report incidents... the Judge refused to see even one (1) of them.

JudyKayTee · Apr 24, 2008, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by jalcala

You are right...that's why I have at least 20 police report incidents...the Judge refused to see even one (1) of them.

I think my question was just answered - this has gone on too long and the Court is sick of it. Time to bring in an experienced Attorney, perhaps an investigator. As Scott said, stop reacting and take the offensive.

jalcala · Apr 24, 2008, 12:31 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I think my question was just answered - this has gone on too long and the Court is sick of it. Time to bring in an experienced Attorney, perhaps an investigator. As Scott said, stop reacting and take the offensive.

Yes, you are right, it's time to get another Attorney. I think the judge is taking to easy on her since she is represented by a lawyer and I am Pro se.

cdad · Apr 24, 2008, 12:47 PM

I keep talking about this and see it repreated here. This may give some of you insight into a parental evaluation and what its suppose to be.

A Guide To The Parenting Evaluation Process

Hope that helps.

jalcala · Apr 24, 2008, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

I keep talking about this and see it repreated here. This may give some of you insight into a parental evaluation and what its suppose to be.

A Guide To The Parenting Evaluation Process

Hope that helps.

Yes it does. As matter of fact I have that site saved under my favorites in my computer.
I guess I need to ask the lawyer if it's too late for the evaluation since the trial already passed.

cdad · Apr 24, 2008, 03:59 PM

If you hire a lawyer for a contempt charge and it sticks you can ask for her to pay lawyers fees etc for that action. You will still owe your lawyer but should you win it might help to stop her pattern of abusing the court orders. Another thing you might look into is P.A.S. parental alienation syndrom. But in your case it sounds more like your daughter is mostly having an adjustment issue since mommie and daddy are apart and mommie has a new daddy. Situations like this are very common and you need to be aware and sensetive to them without just casting blame. Be careful and good luck.

twinkiedooter · Apr 24, 2008, 05:10 PM

Just a thought - have you looked into a Guardian Ad Litem sitaution for your daughter since the ex has been denying you contact? The Guardian Ad Litems are not free BUT they can do an indepth report on both households and the findings are taken seriously by the Court. When you hire another attorney ask them about the Guardian Ad Litem being appointed in your case. Sounds like the judge is tired of this case and some fresh input is definitely needed here.

jalcala · Apr 25, 2008, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

If you hire a lawyer for a contempt charge and it sticks you can ask for her to pay lawyers fees etc for that action. You will still owe your lawyer but should you win it might help to stop her pattern of abusing the court orders. Another thing you might look into is P.A.S. parental alienation syndrom. But in your case it sounds more like your daughter is mostly having an adjustment issue since mommie and daddy are apart and mommie has a new daddy. Situations like this are very common and you need to be aware and sensetive to them without just casting blame. Be careful and good luck.

Good point... when we separated our daughter was only two(2) now she is four (4).
So she knows she has two different homes. But you are right, if for at least once the Judge rules on the side of the law I might have a chance of stopping this behavior.

jalcala · Apr 25, 2008, 06:02 AM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Just a thought - have you looked into a Guardian Ad Litem sitaution for your daughter since the ex has been denying you contact? The Guardian Ad Litems are not free BUT they can do an indepth report on both households and the findings are taken seriously by the Court. When you hire another attorney ask them about the Guardian Ad Litem being appointed in your case. Sounds like the judge is tired of this case and some fresh input is definitely needed here.

During the Final hearing/trial I brought up the question as the judge was walking to her chambers(this is during the trial... talk about having respect for people)
She said it was too late for he Guardian Ad Litems.

So yes, this is a question that I need to bring to a different lawyer.

JudyKayTee · Apr 25, 2008, 06:20 AM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Just a thought - have you looked into a Guardian Ad Litem sitaution for your daughter since the ex has been denying you contact? The Guardian Ad Litems are not free BUT they can do an indepth report on both households and the findings are taken seriously by the Court. When you hire another attorney ask them about the Guardian Ad Litem being appointed in your case. Sounds like the judge is tired of this case and some fresh input is definitely needed here.

In my area if the Judge gets tired enough of the back and forth accusations a Guardian is appointed and the child is also evaluated automatically. Judge is looking for one parent attempting to alienate the child from the other.

jalcala · Apr 25, 2008, 06:25 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

In my area if the Judge gets tired enough of the back and forth accusations a Guardian is appointed and the child is also evaluated automatically. Judge is looking for one parent attempting to alienate the child from the other.

It's a sad situation... since the only person who loses at the end is always the child.

red fairy · May 28, 2008, 07:31 AM

I hope something good has happened for you, I found your question looking for answers of my own. I am also battling Fl. Family court, same problems but a 10 year old child. We have been in court for six years. If you try to take her to court on contempt for refusal of visitation, the same thing will happen every time, nothing. It will cost you to file the paper work, and attorney or no attorney, you will get the same result nothing. You can record your hearings yourself, make sure you get a tape with the longest record time, and you can have a "court room observer" present. Try to get someone from a local church. They cannot testify, but it does stop the judge from text messaging during the hearing, at least it did in our case. One thing that I have told insisted on, that you need to do, Absolutely no conversations with the mother, none for any reason. All communication needs to be done by email. Paper trail. Period. Recorded phone conversations are not admissible, it may even get you charged with a crime. I do have a lot of things I have found over the years, but honestly nothing has really helped. We go back to court again in a week, for the judge to interview the child. That will also do no good at this point, he is so brainwashed, and programmed it is sick. You need to Google Hostile Aggressive Parenting, your daughter still wants to visit you, so it has not gone to the point of Parental alienation YET. One thing that you can ask for in a court order is date and time specific parenting times for you, that if refused by the mother, orders the sheriff to remove the child from her custody, and put her in your custody. Making the refusal of visitation a criminal contempt charge, not civil. I asked for this several years ago, it was refused by the judge, who said in our hearing two weeks ago that he wished now, that he would have granted that order so he wouldn't have to see us anymore. Nice huh? Keep in mind, the judge does not know either one of you, and will see you both as idiots, but no matter what they favor the mother. I am only speaking from experience, the mother has the advantage even if she isn't supposed to.

jalcala · May 28, 2008, 07:49 AM

Originally Posted by red fairy

I hope something good has happened for you, I found your question looking for answers of my own. I am also battling Fl. family court, same problems but a 10 year old child. We have been in court for six years. If you try to take her to court on contempt for refusal of visitation, the same thing will happen every time, nothing. It will cost you to file the paper work, and attorney or no attorney, you will get the same result nothing. You can record your hearings yourself, make sure you get a tape with the longest record time, and you can have a "court room observer" present. Try to get someone from a local church. They cannot testify, but it does stop the judge from text messaging during the hearing, at least it did in our case. One thing that I have told insisted on, that you need to do, Absolutely no conversations with the mother, none for any reason. All communication needs to be done by email. Paper trail. Period. Recorded phone conversations are not admissable, it may even get you charged with a crime. I do have a lot of things I have found over the years, but honestly nothing has really helped. We go back to court again in a week, for the judge to interview the child. That will also do no good at this point, he is so brainwashed, and programmed it is sick. You need to google Hostile Aggressive Parenting, your daughter still wants to visit you, so it has not gone to the point of Parental alienation YET. One thing that you can ask for in a court order is date and time specific parenting times for you, that if refused by the mother, orders the sheriff to remove the child from her custody, and put her in your custody. Making the refusal of visitation a criminal contempt charge, not civil. I asked for this several years ago, it was refused by the judge, who said in our hearing two weeks ago that he wished now, that he would have granted that order so he wouldn't have to see us anymore. Nice huh? Keep in mind, the judge does not know either one of you, and will see you both as idiots, but no matter what they favor the mother. I am only speaking from experience, the mother has the advantage even if she isn't supposed to.

Thanks for the reply. How does that work: "ask for in a court order is date and time specific parenting times for you, that if refused by the mother, orders the sheriff to remove the child from her custody, and put her in your custody".

When I server for contempt of court?

Thanks in advance,

Jorge

red fairy · May 28, 2008, 07:59 AM

When you file the paper work for contempt, there is a place on the second page, about in the middle, that says awarding other relief {explain}. I wrote " to secure my parenting time, I ask the court to issue an order date and time specific for transfer of the minor child for fathers parenting time, with an order to the sheriff, that if mother does not comply, to remove the child from mothers custody, and put child in fathers custody for stated parenting time. To make refusal of parenting time a crimal contempt charge, not civil.