Help

kandy · Mar 12, 2006, 01:41 PM

Hey its me again and I need to know what to do my ex wants me back now that he know he has a kid and as you saw I've waited on him for 1.5yrs so do I take him back his baby's momma goes to school with me and she hates me because my ex wants me back I feel like I'm dying in side be cause I know I love him but I don't think I can dell with the stuff that is going to between him and his baby's momma when she asked him if he loved her he told he no he loved me and that she was going to be a quick lay but she is 14 and he's 20 I'm 17 this is not his first kid either I get along with his first baby's momma we are friends when we meat I told her that I thought he needed to be there for his son he helped make the baby then he needs to help raise the kid and that made it a little better we steel talk and stuff but his new baby's momma hates me and I don't know if I should take him back so can someone help me

CaptainForest · Mar 12, 2006, 02:17 PM

Kandy,

Move on.

He dumped you 1.5 years ago to go screw other woman. He will continue to do the same.

Don't keep pining over him.

He has 1 child with another woman and now he is having another child with ANOTHER woman.

Do you want to get up in his destructive lifestyle?

You are only 17!!

Forget him, go to college/university, make a life for yourself, and get involved with someone who wants to be with you for you, not because it will suit his personal needs of the time.

aflowthai · Mar 12, 2006, 02:30 PM

As hard as it is to let someone go that you love, you have to do it.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Do you really want to be with someone, who obviously, since he has 2 children with 2 different women, doesn't truly love you 100%?
It will be hard, since he's been a part of your life for so long now, but don't take him back. There are so many great guys out there who's lives don't have a lot of "drama". You don't need that.
Move on and find someone who will give you all his time, attention and love.

talaniman · Mar 12, 2006, 02:37 PM

How much more proof do you need to convince you that being with this guy is just plain stupid.Can't you see what misery he's caused you and everyone else's lives he has touched? What else do you need to convince you to run from him and get a life? Are you blind ,stupid or do you need professional help?:cool: :eek:

nwsflash · Mar 12, 2006, 02:45 PM

Kandy You need to tell this dude to back of and stop contact with him, before you end up right back where you where before... Yeah its hard but do you really want to be played. I have to go with all the other people that have posted on this thread.

Go out enjoy your life.

kandy · Mar 12, 2006, 04:04 PM

Thanks for helping me with that but I don't think I can get anyone else I love this guy I mean we have been messing around forr the 1.5yrs that we were not together so he's all I know to love because he's ben in my life for 4.5 yrs and no one else will date me so now what do I do

Lansing · Mar 12, 2006, 09:01 PM

Do you really want to settle with him just because he is "there" and he wants to date you?

If no one else wants to date you, then you remain single! It isn't all that bad really! I agree with everyone else that this guy is bad news... Please don't fall in the trap of getting back together with him. If you do, you will also close out chances of meeting a guy that is good for...

talaniman · Mar 12, 2006, 09:44 PM

Instead of worrying who's going to date you you need to get through school and get a job to support yourself and your baby! I suspect that all his babies mama's are being supported by everyone but him so forget this loser and take care of yourself and your child.Grow up and stop thinking of just yourself and learn to do for yourself. If you get back with him you'll be a loser just like he is. Is that what you want?:cool: :confused:

fredg · Mar 13, 2006, 05:48 AM

Hi, kandy,
Can you write sentences? Putting a period between your sentences? If you can, it would make it a whole lot easier to read your questions and comments!
You are 17 and have a baby. You are not alone, many young woman are the same as you. Have you looked in your local phone book for support groups for unwed mothers? Why not attend a meeting and learn a lot more about yourself and others who are experiencing the same things.
This man you love is only using you, and I know it's hard to get over someone you love... been there... done that.
I have been married 20 years to a wonderful woman... second marriage. There is someone out there for you, who will respect you, care for you, and love you.
Try moving on with your life. When you meet a man, SMILE, and ask him things about himself; talk about him. You can make new friends fast by listening to others, they they in turn, will start asking some things about you.
I do wish you the best of luck, and remember, only you can change your life; he isn't going to do it for you.

kandy · Mar 13, 2006, 01:52 PM

Thank all of you all. You helped make it easer to tell him bye, and that he can't just walk in my life again.Oh just so everyone knows I don't have a kid thank every one again. Oh What can I do now?he will not leave me alone. He'll ways texts me,telling me how much he loves me.and it's so hard to not text him back,because o do love him too.

CaptainForest · Mar 14, 2006, 11:30 AM

Just ignore his messages. Eventually he will move on.

kp2171 · Mar 14, 2006, 01:08 PM

Yeah you love him. Yeah it hurts.

There's a few billion people on this earth. And he's the only one for you?

I don't know. Until you expect more for yourself you won't get more.

He might be great in some ways.

You go down this path and you're just wasting great years of your life.

Being with someone who is disruptive isn't necessarily better than being alone and figuring out who you are a little better.

We've all had the anxiousness of "will i find someone else"... it sucks. It doesn't last.

But again, if you cannot see yourself in a better relationship than what he's given these other girls... because you are NOT guaranteed to get anything more and you will likely NOT be able to "fix" him... you'll settle for this nonsense.

My daughter went through a relationship with a guy for a year or so. This jerk played all kinds of mind games and led her around. And even when they broke up she still practically worshipped him. Now she's 19 and she looks back on those 2-2.5 years and knows all she did was waste time, tears, and lose sleep. At least its in the past for her.

You need to find a way to put this in the past. Find strength in your friends, your faith, your family, or better yet, yourself.

You need to expect more out of others and expect more for yourself. You do that and you will live a happier life.

kandy · Mar 14, 2006, 02:02 PM

Thank you all very much I have the new post on my ex hit me and it is him so you all can see what I have done about it I think I made the right choice on it all

Chery · Mar 19, 2006, 02:27 PM

It sure seems he gets around in whatever neighborhood you guys live in. What on earth compels you girls to fall for jerks like that. All they want is an easy bed-bunny and probably compete with each other as to how many of their sperms 'hit the mark'.

Come on, get out of that part of the city - even if you have to go to social organizations and get help to do it. Strive for a better future for yourself, and for goodness sake don't let your future kids grow up in that environment.

Are you willing to give up your pride, self-respect and self-esteem just to exist in a rotten situation for the rest of your life??

Girls your age can do better than that. Get better educated, and move away from the wrong environment that keeps you 'stuck' in the lifestyle that you are presently in.

It takes a few first steps for you to take, but there are people and organizations out there - all you have to do is find them and get the help that they are capable of giving. Think of your future and be real serious about it. There is more to life than TV, kids, and an unhappy life that will eventually drive you nuts, so don't be afraid to start a new life somewhere else.

Good luck to you dear, and please keep us posted.

As long as we live, there's always a choice to make. Decide on what you want for your future!

s_cianci · Mar 19, 2006, 02:48 PM

I'd think long and hard about taking this one back. He's 20 and has a baby with a 14-year-old? He's lucky he's not in jail. If that 14-yr-old "momma" was one of my daughters he would be (unless he's well off enough to be paying one heck of a lot of child support but at age 20 it's not likely that he is.) Furthermore you state that this is not his only kid. Does he have a habit of getting girls knocked up and then having someone else raise his children? He doesn't seem to have a very strong sense of responsibility concerning fatherhood, not to mention husbandhood. Guess who'll be next if you take him back? I'm sorry but this one sounds like bad news to me. I'd steer clear if I were you.

Chery · Mar 19, 2006, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

I'd think long and hard about taking this one back. He's 20 and has a baby with a 14-year-old? He's lucky he's not in jail. If that 14-yr-old "momma" was one of my daughters he would be (unless he's well off enough to be paying one heck of a lot of child support but at age 20 it's not likely that he is.) Furthermore you state that this is not his only kid. Does he have a habit of getting girls knocked up and then having someone else raise his children? He doesn't seem to have a very strong sense of responsibility concerning fatherhood, not to mention husbandhood. Guess who'll be next if you take him back? I'm sorry but this one sounds like bad news to me. I'd steer clear if I were you.

Very well put!

Now you hear it from a guy - and they know what men are capable of.
Girl, do the right thing for yourself and move away from his 'territory'!

kandy · Mar 21, 2006, 08:37 PM

I have moved on. Well not really. I put him in jail he hit me.so I left him and now it is harder than ever to m,ove on because I know that I'm in love with someone who does not love me. But I'm not going back to him so I guess it will al be OK in the end