[dianah]

I recently have just grown tired of being a mother to 3 grown children-they don'[t want to grow up! In fact it seems that the more money I throw at them to bail them out, the more they need. I just recently had a problem with my 35 year old daughter whom I might add I bought her a car, she refuses to pay on time-ruining my credit. She didn't pay for her daughter to go to the prom and then she began to act like it was my problem!! After having a melt down in my house-I found myself yelling back at her and getting depressed later that day.

I wrote my children a letter explaining that I will no longer be responsible for their problems. I have a son who will not work on a job longer than a week, and he is constantly bringing me his sorrows. What do I do? Do I cut the cord and let them fall. They don't seem to get the letting them down easy part.:(

[Emland]

I'm guessing you didn't buy the car outright, rather you financed it in your name. If it were me I would take over making the payments (so my credit isn't ruined) and insist she make her payment no later than X date each month. If it isn't made then have the car re-poed. It's in your name, right?

They are using you because you have allowed it and you have set presidence by bailing them out. I would check to see if there are any Tough Love groups in your area or seek counseling on how toughen up.

[smearcase]

I know a lady 70 yrs. Old who gets up and drives her 40 something year old son to work every morning and picks him up every afternoon, even thought her health is terrible. He 's on probation for dui for the 3rd time and has to wear an electronic monitor. I just say this to illustrate that this can go on forever. Don't kid yourself, you either find a way to stop it, or learn to live with it.

[Alty]

You reap what you sow. You have taught them how to treat you, now it's time to teach them differently.

[bigbird213]

Im not sure I'm qualified to answer this, but based on my upbringing:

If you never let them fail, they will never learn to succeed.

[talaniman]

Kick 'em all to the curb, and let them fend for themselves.

[Fr_Chuck]

You cut the money off, tell them you love them and will be glad to hear about what is going on, tell the girl with the car if she is late one more time, to bring the car back to you and you will take it back.

Tough love, they will never learn to live on their own till you make them, now it means seeing the one who will not work maybe sleeping in his car or at the homeless shelter but that will finally wake some of them up