[ashley0716]

Ok so my husband and I decided that while I was in nursing school, I should bartend some on the weekends. He suggested that I not wear my wedding rings so I could attract more and make more money. This baffled me because personally I have more respect for my ring and the honor and commitment it symbolizes than I do for some random guy who will tip me a few extra bucks. When I said this to my husband, he said "whatever, you'll see. If you really believe all that mumbo jumbo" He then went on to say that he preferred his ring in a lockbox where nothing could happen to it. He said he DOES cherish it but wearing it doesn't change how he feels, and I don't expect it to. For me, the whole point of HAVING a ring is to illustrate the neverending devotion and commitment you have for your spouse. He just laughed at me and called me ignorant and said I don't trust him. How can I make him see that how he feels about that ring breaks my heart?

[Alty]

In the end it is just a ring, a piece of jewellery. Yes it does symbolize that you are a married woman and he is a married man, but it's not the most important symbol of your marriage. I love my wedding ring, it means allot to me but I only wear it when I go out, not when I'm at home, I don't need to wear it in order to know that I'm married.

Just tell him how you feel about it, but realize that he obviously feels differently and it really isn't important enough to start a fight over.

Good Luck.

[NeedKarma]

He suggests that you bartend on weekend while you're going to school, he pushes you to make more money and he calls you ignorant. A few red flags there. Does he work? Why does he need YOU to make more money?

[ashley0716]

He works. He works his off. He's active duty army and right now he's deployed. I can't JUST go to school. I am not working because he makes me, or because we NEED it. I just want to bring home a little extra spending money. Normally on Saturdays and Sundays I umpire baseball games and make 25/hour. But when he gets home from Iraq, all we have together are Saturdays and Sundays, so we were trying to think of something I could do that would leave more time during the DAY for each other and our one year old. I don't mind, I think it might be fun, and I understand that sometimes you HAVE to remove your wedding rings. I take mine off when I use harsh chemicals in the house. He takes his off when he convoys or works on the humV's. I'm hurt and feel cheapened by his desire to have me not wear them so I will appear "available" while I bartend. Makes me feel like he thinks he can put a price on our marriage. I, however, refuse to compromise my values to make an extra buck.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well each has their opinioins, do you know at one point and time it was not allowed for a Christian to wear a wedding ring, it was against church rules. In fact it was because it was originally a symbol of ownership, to show or represent the chain or binding of the women when she was captured and/or the position of ownership the man had over the wife.
The wedding ring was at first a pagan symbol also and for 100's of years not allowed in the Chritian marriage.

But the desire of people to wear the rings that others in society did, made the church to finally change its ruling and allow wedding rings ( orgnally only for the women) but latter also for the man.

Personally I have almost lost my finger twice because of it and did stop wearing one for years because of that and even now take it off every night and back on in the morning.

So I personally think for too much importance is put on the ring.

But then wanting men to hit on you to get more tips is sort of sick in my world so I guess he wants you to wear a low cut top and a short skirt to help get more tips also??

I think this is showing a lack of respect for you, and for your feelings and to me at least says the entire relationship is in some serous trouble

[George_1950]

You sound like a very dear, dear person. I can give your husband the benefit of the doubt considering he's got you and for his wonderful service to the USA. He is a very lucky man and I hope he comes to that realization very soon. Keep wearing your rings and your smiles.