When my mom was deeply in the midst of Alzheimers, my daughter wanted her car. I made it clear to my daughter, that I would need to ask my mom about that. My mom had not been able to drive for a couple of years. I asked my mom about my daughter having her car. My mom's response was that it would be okay and for my daughter to "Be very, very careful!"

I believe, that even when a relative is into the deeper stages of the disease, that it's good to share as much as possible with them. We never know when doing so will get a response from them that might be like the "old" person that they were!

Thanks!

I agree, your so right. I notice when I discuss planets and solar sytems with my dad he seems more like his old self and will discuss with me. That's far from my specialty, but hese good at that kind of stuff science, computers and other electronics, mathematics. So I try to spark a conversation and just listen.

When you say things to your dad, do you ever try to see, moment's later, if he can remember what you've said?

Thanks!

Sometimes. Sometimes he would remember and ask me why am I keep repeating myself or asking the same thing over. And sometimes he wouldn't remember the previous conversation.

Then it doesn't sound like he is yet to the stage in the disease where my mother was when I would test her. That's good!

How is his over-all disposition, please? Does he ever have bouts where he gets really mad because of his loss of memory?

Thanks!

Yes, that would happen. Especially when we try and mention a puzzle or bingo, or something. He would get furious, so we stopped suggesting it. His appetite has been not so good, for the past few weeks he eats and drinks very little. But he did eat a bit more today and it's great that we have family to come over and visit today and tomorrow.

Do family members visit with him on a regular basis, please?

Thanks!

No. The family that came down are my stepmother's relatives. My dad's sister did come to visit for a week about 2 months ago. His brother, other daughter, and son haven't came yet but say they will be coming this year.. but this year is now almost over. I think if they at least call more than three times this year would be better too. I give them updates from time to time so they don't have an excuse, this is one of the things that bothers me with them.

So, are you basically alone with caring for him?

Thanks!

It's mostly my stepmother caring for him. I come Fri-Mon to help relieve her a bit during parts of the day and for her to run errands or anything.

So, what does he do during the day, please?

Thanks!

When I'm at his house during the day we usually take him out for rides, go to the park, go for a walk or to one of his friend's house, to the flea market sometimes, and we go to the grocery store. He usually would take a nap before or after lunch. Once in awhile he would watch an old western or sci-fi. We also sometimes sit out on the deck and watch the hummingbirds come to feed at this hummingbird feeder near the deck or sometimes look at the deer that would come around the house.

What were the things you would do with your mom during the day that she liked.

Well, of course there were the rides... Visiting relatives and friends, too.

My kids and I would also try to get her involved in board games. We'd "fudge" on the rules so that she would feel more invoved and could maybe even win!

Since one of the things that I do, is that professional musician, I would play for her and also take her to concerts that I was in, or ask someone else to take her, if I needed to be at a concert really early.

I would also ask her opinion about a lot of things in order to keep her invovled.

I appreciate you keeping me informed as to what's going on with your dad!

Thanks!

Thanks for being there to listen, as I have no one really to speak to about this and who can relate, other than my stepmom. What instrument(s) do you play? We took him to the movies a couple of weeks ago which he did enjoy.

I play a number of instruments because one of the things that I trained to be in college was to be a band director. Piano, organ, tuba and string bass would be the main ones that I keep up on now, since I'm retired from teaching in schools. I also sing, professionally.

Do you play any instruments or sing?

Thanks!

You are very talented indeed. I used to play the piano and acustic guitar when I was a kid, but never kept up with it. I sing jazz, I used to sing a lot back in Ethiopia with some of the local artists there and received some requests to join a few bands there. But, I don't know when I'll be returning back exactly.

Did you ever have trouble with your mom not eating or drinking enough fluids? What did you do to avoid this?

Talking about eating and drinking concerning Alheimer's patients opens up a whole other subject here...

Yes, there were many problems with her eating or drinking enough when she was living by herself.

The more physically active that a person is, the more likely that they're going to feel hungry and thirsty.

Thanks!

I can't remember and it's difficult for me to get around the site because I have a really slow connection. There is a problem with me getting disconnected from the Internet a lot, too. But, did you say something earlier about your dad being "into" music in some way, please?

Thanks!

Yes, in the beginning of his alzheimers I notice he would get up and dance more and smile... I never seen him do this before as he has always been very reserved. But, he told me he loved reggae, jazz, and pretty much many genres of music. I had brought several of my cds over for him to listen too and a few months back it did help help him many times during his sadness with coping with AD. I noticed some of my meditational music had helped calm him as well. I will try and play more music for him this weekend and see how he reacts as it does not help all of the time, but had helped much.

So, what's been happening since we last communicated, Golden_Girl?

Thanks!