I don't really know you Reef. But if you are serious then I am willing to help all I can.
We are all a little like that and I have met many people who are a lot like that in my life. At one point in my career I was the National Sales Trainer for Republic Steel Corporation. The sales people were hired and sent to me in Chicago to train, evaluate and dissect mentally and emotionally, before we invested any more time or money in them.
It seems that certain patterns developed and we were able to better define which would possibly be more successful.
It seems that 'words' were the expertise of many, action proved to be the success mode. Some of the best dressed and best looking people I had were the worst and failed. People that felt for some reason that they were not the 'elite' knew that they had to work harder and longer to be more knowledgeable, more dedicated and thus more successful.
No one can open someones heart and pour in motivation, need, fire and ambition. People change and the best known motivator for change is...fear. If your subconscious believes it, your conscious mind will also, it is about you, it is intrinsic.
We found that when we sat these failing persons down and talked to them a few got the message, the others were sent packing. I had to make the decision, take the chance on some of them. How...I saw it in their eyes. Were all these 2nd chancers successful, no...some lied to themselves and me, but some were.
Basically I am lazy Reef, I know this and I deal with it everyday. From the time I put my feet on the bedroom floor in the morning and every hour of the day. Recognizing a negative trait is dealing with it and taking a step to correct it.
Another example; I was consistently late for almost everything, I just told myself that I was 'trying' to be on time...but... Years ago I was told by a close friend, confidant and business associate how blatantly rude and inconsiderate this was to him. It hit home, of all the things that I felt that I had to deal with this simple thing could be corrected...something that I had to do myself and I could do this. Yep, I did. Now I even allow enough time for backed up traffic and I arrive on time or before. And now it is me that feels insulted when someone is always late. It was something that I could correct personally and I did and I felt great/proud about it.
It is all about you; The shape of a pyramid tells a lot;
It is broken up into three parts, the base, the middle and the top, all parts are needed to stand. The base makes up about half of it, these are the 'masses.' The middle makes up another 40%, middle management, almost successful, and the top is 10%. The bottom portion is absolutely necessary in a working society and they are proud workers and should be. The middle is a little frustrated but by most standards are successful; home, family, income.
The world also needs the 10%. Most have clawed their way there (not all obviously), long hours, more education, born leaders, training, ethics (?), guts, dealing with adversities, skills, and so on. But most of all determination.
If we were all in the 50% or the 40% part would the world benefit...maybe..but I think that it takes 100%....together.
When you are older and you look back at yourself, which group will you say you were part of?
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Stringer