Ask Me Help Desk - I think I've got it figured out.

I think I've got it figured out.

I'm the one true god. Can you prove me wrong? Would you risk your soul doubting me? If you can't prove me wrong, I'll be setting up a paypal account so you can start sending me 10% of your income.

Also to the person who is going to pray to me to win the lottery. I ran some tests and I found out you had to win 4 lotteries before you believed I was the true god and giving you 4 lotteries messed up my ultimate plan so you ended up not winning the lottery because it doesn't prove my point. So by the shear fact that you didn't win the lottery proves, I'm the one true god.

Sorry Michael, the Great Flying Spagetti Monster has appeared before me and touched me in places that felt good. There is documented proof of his existence:

The Great Flying Spaghetti Monster is a powerful being known by many names but he only wishs to temp you away from the truth.

My wife also mentions that he is inside her. She now has a feeling of peace and wishes to have a cigarette.

I have given you free will and although I could take it from you and force you to believe. Your non-believe only hurts you in the long run and doesn't interfere with my ultimate goal.
I highly suggest though that you listen to Pascal's wager and believe that this is the true god that is speaking to you.

I had heard the True God was a perfect speller and used good grammar and punctuation.

I speak all languages that have ever been or ever will be however in order for a plan to unfold properly things you see as errors are actually required when you see the larger picture.

The True God is good with commas too.

Again you see them as errors but if you could see the larger picture. You would understand that it is written the way it needs to be written.

Hallelujah!

Interesting that even with an outlandish claim, no one can absolutely prove the negative isn't it.

What are you trying to prove or disprove?

The statement that I'm god. I use myself because well I'm a megalomaniac but it really could be anything or anyone. The augments for faith such as Pascal's wager could apply to any religion. I present this statement to see if anyone can give a logical answer to proving I'm not god. This should be particular interest to people of faith since I would think that the first step in proving your own god would be being able to absolutely disprove all others.

Please show your Grace to me oh michaelb. I prayed to him and my boil is now gone. Praise be to Him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

The statement that I'm god. I use myself because well I'm a megalomaniac but it really could be anything or anyone. The augments for faith such as Pascal's wager could apply to any religion. I present this statement to see if anyone can give a logical answer to proving I'm not god. This should be particular interest to people of faith since I would think that the first step in proving your own god would be being able to absolutely disprove all others.

"The One and Only.
"... the Eternal, Absolute.
"He begets not, nor is He begotten.
And there is none like unto Him."

If you fit the above Criterion you could be God... if not, "I" don't think you are who you claim to be... :)

I don't think he has to fit anyone else's criteria Firm. That's like saying Mohammed does not fit the criteria for Zeus so therefore Mohammed is a false god.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

I don't think he has to fit anyone else's criteria Firm. That's like saying Mohammed does not fit the criteria for Zeus so therefore Mohammed is a false god.

Hey NK,
Muhammad (pbuh)never claimed to be God nor do we believe him to be equal or the same to the Almighty.
He was a human being.

So you have no god? Join the worship of michaelb!

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

So you have no god? Join the worship of michaelb!

NK,
You are confusing me or yourself!:)

We never did worship a human being,Muhammad(pbuh) or any other Messenger or Prophet...
We worship the Almighty.

"The One and Only.
"... the Eternal, Absolute.
"He begets not, nor is He begotten.
And there is none like unto Him."

How do you know that doesn't fit michealb's description? Have you met him?

Wondergirl- the lord michealb writes in the way that is meant to be written. Your English rules do not apply to a deity.

Let the commas be free and the people breathless!

Sorry, I did not know the name of your god. "Almighty" is his name I guess.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Sorry, I did not know the name of your god. "Almighty" is his name I guess.

It okay.
I usually try not to use the word "Allah" on these threads unless it is under Islam or the question is specific to Islam/Muslims.

I prefer to use the word the Almighty because I believe it to be an attribute of Allah.

*serious hat on*
Firm you should never be ashamed of professing your beliefs or naming your God.
*serious hat off*

I am not ashamed of professing my belief in michealb!

The One and Only. - There is definitely only one of me, so I fit the one and only.

... the Eternal, Absolute. - I have never known a time when I didn't exist and since that existence is outside of time and space it would be hard to prove me wrong.

He begets not, nor is He begotten. - As I am all powerful, I can I do anything I want.

And there is none like unto Him. - There might be some false gods pretending to have created the universe but how many have given you so much proof as to sit down and type out a conversation with you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

The One and Only. - There is definitely only one of me, so I fit the one and only.

There maybe only one of you,but there are others who are human like you with features similar to yours.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

... the Eternal, Absolute. - I have never known a time when I didn't exist and since that existence is outside of time and space it would be hard to prove me wrong.

You might have never known a time you did not exist but your parents and your grandparent etc knew a time when you did not exist.

[QUOTE=michealb]He begets not, nor is He begotten. - As I am all powerful, I can I do anything I want.[QUOTE=michealb]
If you were an all powerful one,you will not need to be like the created beings,to have been born like a mortal or to be born of a mortal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

And there is none like unto Him. - There might be some false gods pretending to have created the universe but how many have given you so much proof as to sit down and type out a conversation with you?

Lol... He wouldn't need to sit down or type out a conversation.

"There is nothing
Whatever like unto Him,
And He is the One
That hears and sees (all things)."

Quote:

Originally Posted by templelane

*serious hat on*
Firm you should never be ashamed of professing your beliefs or naming your God.

Never ashamed,just cautious and considerate... :)

Firm you are so nice- I try to be like you but I slip up a lot!

There maybe only one of you,but there are others who are human like you with features similar to yours.

You don't have proof that I'm human you only assume that based on your knowledge that you have learned on earth. Also is it not said that I crafted Adam in my own image so of course I look human or more accurately humans look like me.

You might have never known a time you did not exist but your parents and your grandparent etc knew a time when you did not exist.

They might know a time when this form didn't exist but as a being of unmeasurable power and abilities that really doesn't mean much does it.

If you were an all powerful one,you will not need to be like the created beings,to have been born like a mortal or to be born of a mortal.

Even the designer of the game plays without the cheat codes every once in a while.

Lol... He wouldn't need to sit down or type out a conversation.

No offense to your god but maybe if he did many more people would understand his message better.

Ni hao, c'est un trappe n'est pas? If u need money, try the bank or get a job. God is in every one of us. Though it wouldn't hurt to have you help religiously but I do not think that god don't use Paypal, it's too advance. Well, happy being true god. Amen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlebear91

Ni hao, c'est un trappe n'est pas? if u need money, try the bank or get a job. God is in each and every one of us. Though it wouldn't hurt to have you help religiously but I do not think that god don't use Paypal, it's too advance. Well, happy being true god. Amen.

To answer to your question no. For the part in english I don't need money but if your going to send your money to do gods work you might as well send it direct instead of through a third party. Paypal is for your convience not mine, I suppose I could have said to put the money in your cd-rom and I would still get it, however don't like to give absolute proof many people don't handle it well.

[
Lol... He wouldn't need to sit down or type out a conversation.

No offense to your god but maybe if he did many more people would understand his message better.[/QUOTE]

Guess what!! My God did write a Book. Apparently you haven't read it yet.

A series of stories that were written by men said to be inspired by god, then the church picked out certain stories that it liked and made them in to a book (the bible). Your god never once claims to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. He always had his words go through some person who may or may not have been hearing the voice of god. Since I am a god not a person claiming to hear god you can be sure that my words do indeed come from god(me) and not someone just claiming to hear god. First person accounts are statistically more accurate than third party retellings so statistically my version has a better chance at being correct since it is a first person account.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

I'm the one true god.

Nah. You're not.

Quote:

Can you prove me wrong?

Yep.

Quote:

Would you risk your soul doubting me?

No risk whatsoever. Cause you ain't God.

Quote:

If you can't prove me wrong, I'll be setting up a paypal account so you can start sending me 10% of your income.

Rofl!! That is exactly my proof. I won't even try to prove you wrong. But since you ain't all powerful God, you won't be seeing a penny of my money!! Lol!!

Quote:

Also to the person who is going to pray to me to win the lottery. I ran some tests and I found out you had to win 4 lotteries before you believed I was the true god and giving you 4 lotteries messed up my ultimate plan so you ended up not winning the lottery because it doesn't prove my point. So by the shear fact that you didn't win the lottery proves, I'm the one true god.

Lol!! That's another bit of proof.

1. All powerful God don't need money.
2. If you were God, you'd just win the lottery yourself and you wouldn't need to worry about scamming poor slobs out of 10% of their hard earned income.

De Maria,
As I have already said I don't need the money. I simply will take it and put it to better use than when you send 10% of your money to some church. If you don't give any money to a church don't worry about it. You are free to worship me at no cost. In fact as a token of my good will you will find a small sum of money shortly(shortly is of course relative since I'm an eternal being) and although I know you won't give me credit for it when you get it. I still would like you to have it as a token of my good intentions and my hope that when I meet you upon your death that you won't still cling to your beliefs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

De Maria,
As I have already said I don't need the money.

And as I already said, you won't get it whether you need it or not.

Quote:

I simply will take it

No you won't.

Quote:

and put it to better use than when you send 10% of your money to some church. If you don't give any money to a church don't worry about it. You are free to worship me at no cost.

I wouldn't worship you even if you promised me the world.

Matthew 4 10 Then Jesus saith to him: Begone, Satan: for it is written, The Lord thy God shalt thou adore, and him only shalt thou serve.

Quote:

In fact as a token of my good will you will find a small sum of money shortly(shortly is of course relative since I'm an eternal being) and although I know you won't give me credit for it when you get it. I still would like you to have it as a token of my good intentions and my hope that when I meet you upon your death that you won't still cling to your beliefs.

Unfortunately, if you cling to your beliefs, I don't think we'll be meeting in the after life. I intend to be united to the one True God in the company of the just made perfect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by De Maria

1. All powerful God don't need money.
2. If you were God, you'd just win the lottery yourself and you wouldn't need to worry about scamming poor slobs out of 10% of their hard earned income.

Liar liar pants on fire. Christians do give out their hard earned money to their religion.

What does the Bible say about Christian tithing?

Quote:

The New Testament nowhere assigns a certain percentage of income to set aside, but only says it is to be “in keeping with his income” (1 Corinthians 16:2). The Christian church has essentially taken the 10% figure from the Old Testament tithe and applied it as a “recommended minimum” for Christians in their giving. Although the New Testament does not identify a specific amount or percentage to give, it does talk about the importance and benefits of giving. They should give as they are able, “in keeping with his income.” Sometimes that means giving more than a tithe, sometime that may mean giving less than a tithe. It all depends on the ability of the Christian and the needs of the church. Every Christian should diligently pray and seek God’s wisdom as to whether to participate in tithing and/or for how much he or she should give (James 1:5). “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Liar liar pants on fire. Christians do give out their hard earned money to their religion.

What does the Bible say about Christian tithing?

Touche' :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by De Maria

Unfortunately, if you cling to your beliefs, I don't think we'll be meeting in the after life. I intend to be united to the one True God in the company of the just made perfect.

How can you be so certain that I'm not the one true god? Do you have any evidence to prove otherwise? I'm god I don't have to prove myself but I will tell you why your proof is wrong. How about you invite your god to defend himself and we will settle this once and for all. If he shows up I'll concede.

Quote:

Originally Posted by michealb

How can you be so certain that I'm not the one true god? Do you have any evidence to prove otherwise? I'm god I don't have to prove myself but I will tell you why your proof is wrong. How about you invite your god to defend himself and we will settle this once and for all. If he shows up I'll concede.

You want to tempt God, be my guest. But not me:

Matt 4:7... : It is written again: Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

Quote:

Originally Posted by De Maria

Matt 4:7 ...: It is written again: Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

Or what?

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Or what?

I imagine you'll find out in the end.