Ask Me Help Desk - Dirty words

To each their own... no doubt about that.

But this does go a little beyond that... it's not just what one thinks he or she should say in certain company. It's also extends to what people think should be said around them.

Eventually, it gets to the age old discussion of where free speech ends and offensiveness begins.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakester

If a Christian, your mother, whoever, wants to teach his child that it is not appropriate to swear indiscriminately in front of others, is there really something wrong with that, excon?

Hello again, j:

See, here's the thing. I don't think it's WRONG, and I haven't used that word. I think it's DIFFERENT. Different isn't wrong. Different is cool. I just want to know WHY people are different. I'm a curious bugger.

excon

Its different because god said so

I've never heard God say anything about the F word.

And I have never seen a Bible that mentions the F word or what God thinks about the F word.

I just threw out a immature reply

Fishing for another

Ahha! Wish I had known... I hope I didn't scare away any potential bites for you.

I guess it's kind of unfortunate how easy it is to assume that someone would really use that to justify their beliefs :D heh

Justifing my beleifs wasn't on the program

Right.. I gathered that with the whole 'fishing' comment.

The god comment was this.

There's always going to be some form of censourship.
Be it the environment,the company or just the day of the week
There's always going to be a controlling factor to speech

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tokugawa

I don't find the f word offensive in any way, it's just that I find the over use of it to be vulgar and unimaginative. It's really just used as an exclamation after all. What's the difference between an "idiot" and a "f-ing idiot"?. It would seem that one is more of an idiot than the other. Even using the "censored" f-ing, instead of just typing the word itself seems quite absurd. It spells the same thing after all. The only reason I don't is that I realise that some people may take offence to it.

Just loved this answer! :D and agree :p

For those who believe swear words aren't, or shouldn't be, offensive... would the following scenarios make any difference? Is there a time and place for such language, or does anything go?:

Would you want your child's teacher using them in the classroom? What about at the elementary/primary school level?

Would it make a difference if the words were directed at your child regardless of the child's age?

Does hearing your partner tell you that they love you mean anything to you? Does it invoke any feeling in response? Or are they just words?

Have you ever felt anger or hurt if someone called you by one of the names? Is it different when it is in conversation as opposed to being directed at you?

I have found it ironic that the f word is often used in such derogatory ways when the act is one of such enjoyment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

F

I have found it ironic that the f word is often used in such derogatory ways when the act is one of such enjoyment.

Exactly what I said...

Is saying "I want to make love to you" to your spouse offensive?

How about if it's said in a church? An elementary school? A kid's birthday party?

There isn't a SINGLE word in that sentence that could be considered offensive in and of itself---it's the CONTEXT of the words, and the LOCATION that they are said.

Same for ALL words. I'm not going to say "f**k" when I visit a friend's church or by an elementary school---and in return, I ask that "God" and "Jesus" not be brought up at public schools and in the average workplace.

There is a time and place for EVERY type of word that might offend SOMEBODY.

Hello synn:

Virtual **greenie**

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

For those who believe swear words aren't, or shouldn't be, offensive....would the following scenarios make any difference? Is there a time and place for such language, or does anything go?

There is always a time and a place for everything. "Swear words" or not, not all conversations are appropriate for any time of the day or in any situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Would you want your child's teacher using them in the classroom? What about at the elementary/primary school level?

I have actually had teachers that used swear words quite impactfully.

When used to serve a specific teaching purpose, I think it can be perfectly fine. Again, at an appropriate level when the students are old enough (or should be old enough) to understand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Would it make a difference if the words were directed at your child regardless of the child's age?

I am not sure what you mean by "directed at your child" but if you mean to say that such words were meant as an attack on my child, yes, of course it would. So would calling a child stupid for not knowing an answer or calling him/her a baby for getting upset or ANY kind of attack on my child. What do swear words have to do with that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Does hearing your partner tell you that they love you mean anything to you? Does it invoke any feeling in response? Or are they just words?

Yes, the words are JUST words. It is not the words that invoke feelings. What if I told you that I loved you right now? I don't think the words would invoke the same feelings you are talking about... right?

Obviously there is more to communication that just the words that we utter from our mouths. Seems to be the underlying theme to this thread...

[QUOTE=DoulaLC;1897237]Have you ever felt anger or hurt if someone called you by one of the names? Is it different when it is in conversation as opposed to being directed at you?

Yes & yes. I think we have all tried to make the point of intention here. Anger, hurt, fear, etc can be caused by the use of those words or the use of HUNDREDS of other words. Why isn't any insulting word a swear word then? What good ever comes from the word "stupid", "hate", "gross", etc. These are perfectly accepted words but really serve no other purpose that to insult.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

I have found it ironic that the f word is often used in such derogatory ways when the act is one of such enjoyment.

Very true. But again, the same can be said of other words. "Love"... what better thing is there in this life? But what about the nonreciprocating love that when expressed to the loved one elicits the response "you don't even know what love is" or maybe "I could never love you" or even a completely sarcastic "oh yeah, I love you, too" (said while they are laughing.

The thing is that we have this beautifully colorful language at our disposal. So many words to say so few things... each adding its own nuance to what we want to express. Why limit that? Why try to smother out words that, for SOME unknown reason, have been deemed by "higher society" as inappropriate?

Worse than that... I find it insane that people live their ENTIRE lives never asking, "why?" So many people get brainwashed by what the way things were where the world prior to them left off. How could we ever grow, mature, and evolve as a society if everyone lived their lives this way? If we never sought to improve the life that was given to us, we would still be living in caves.

I try not to swear just because I think it's a good indicator of a very weak vocabulary. Same is someone saying "like" all the time, or ending every sentence with "and stuff" or "and s***" as it were. But I do swear, of course, I just usually try to express myself better than that.

Personally it doesn't offend me. But I know a lot of people are so I try to avoid it as much as possible. I actually used to cuss a lot when I was younger (and a lot cockier) and got yelled at on more than one occasion to "watch my mouth" or something similar. So I think that, more often than not, people are offended by it.

Hello again,

DrJ is right on.

I find it interesting that so many of you miss what I'm asking... I'm not talking ABOUT swearing, in that do you, or don't you, and I'm not asking whether it's offensive or not... THAT stuff, I know.

I'm talking about WHY some word is offensive. Is it because someone TOLD you to be offended, or does the word actually grate on your ears when you hear it...

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again,

DrJ is right on.

I find it interesting that so many of you miss what I'm asking... I'm not talking ABOUT swearing, in that do you, or don't you, and I'm not asking whether it's offensive or not.... THAT stuff, I know.

I'm talking about WHY some word is offensive. Is it because someone TOLD you to be offended, or does the word actually grate on your ears when you hear it...

excon

I think you have a point here. We probably judge words by our pre-conditioning. What we heard, or did not hear at home in our formative years. I remember saying a phrase I heard a fellow first grader say, and mom heard me. Mistake! It did impress me though!

Actually, probably the single most offensive thing to me is to use "Jesus Christ" as an expletive. He is my best friend, and I resent that use of His Name.

That is NOT the result of conditioning in my formative years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by galveston

I think you have a point here. We probably judge words by our pre-conditioning. What we heard, or did not hear at home in our formative years. I remember saying a phrase I heard a fellow first grader say, and mom heard me. Mistake! It did impress me though!

Actually, probably the single most offensive thing to me is to use "Jesus Christ" as an expletive. He is my best friend, and I resent that use of His Name.

That is NOT the result of conditioning in my formative years.

Another excellent example. The words "Jesus" & "Christ" alone (or together) are not offensive words. But when used improperly can be quite offensive... whether that improper use is as an expletive or, for some, as a belief that is being taught out of turn.

Another example along those lines.. "damn it" by itself is not really considered a swear word (I understand that some may thing otherwise.. but by itself, it is pretty borderline, right?). But when the word "God" is placed before it, it becomes a whole new beast. The funny thing is that they both have the Same meaning! When you say "damn it", you are telling (asking?) God to damn something to Hell. Whether you use His name in the sentence or not, He is still the only One that can damn anything to Hell, right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again,

DrJ is right on.

I find it interesting that so many of you miss what I'm asking... I'm not talking ABOUT swearing, in that do you, or don't you, and I'm not asking whether it's offensive or not.... THAT stuff, I know.

I'm talking about WHY some word is offensive. Is it because someone TOLD you to be offended, or does the word actually grate on your ears when you hear it...

excon

I think some words are viewed as offensive because they are often used in that manner... to be offensive. Yes, they are just words, but depending on the context in which they are used, they can inflict a great deal of pain... as often is intended.

One might joke around with a friend and call them a name, both getting a good laugh from it, but you could turn around and use the same name in a hateful tone to show displeasure with someone else and it will have a very different purpose and response.

You might say sh*t when you stub your toe and many might not be necessarily offended by it... call a child a little sh*t when you are angry with them, and likely more people would find that inappropriate. Same word, different situation, different level of acceptance.

As with many words, swear words or otherwise, it often is in the delivery and circumstances in which they are used that can cause offense or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

I'm talking about WHY some word is offensive. Is it because someone TOLD you to be offended, or does the word actually grate on your ears when you hear it...

This is somewhat related to "blood is thicker than water." I can call my kid a little brat, but not many other people better do that! Or if I tell my husband that his mother is the family controller and should wear a whistle around her neck, plan to put me up for the night because I won't be sleeping in my own bed. Yet, at the next get-together with his sibings, they could all be yukking it up and slapping their knees about what a controlling person their mother is and how she would make a good camp director.

The same with the words you are talking about, excon. It depends on who your audience is. Years ago I had a male friend whose every sentence contained an obscenity. His friends and I mentally bleeped them out because the rest of the sentences were worth listening to. He even had a couple of master's degrees, so a poor vocabulary was not his problem. Then, one afternoon, I went with him on an insurance appointment, thinking selling insurance might be something I would be interested in doing myself. I couldn't believe it, was struck dumb listening to him. Only the angels have a more beautiful vocabulary!

And I'll just add that I grew up as the oldest child of a preacher and lived in a farm town of 500 German Lutherans whose only public swear word was scheisskopf. I attended a Christian college, so no bad words there, especially not in front of us young ladies. It wasn't until 1969 that I learned "offensive words" from a crew of five male State Farm claims adjusters for whom I typed reports and letters. By then we had figured out there was such a thing as free speech, and some took it more seriously than others.

The audience makes all the difference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

By then we had figured out there was such a thing as free speech, and some took it more seriously than others.

Like everything else free it's worth what you pay for it:)

I am a Christian, and I do get offended by people that take the Lords name in vain, but that's just me personally, other then that words don't offend me, one good thing about America, freedom of speech!

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

You can't find a post of mine where I've put people or their religion down.

excon

How about this one?

"You're a f**king idiot"? (Your post - #49)

Or this one?

"Now go climb back under your rock"? (Your post - #59)

Hello A:

Well, you DESERVED them both. Are you shooting for another?

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I shouldn't answer because words don't offend me, they're just words, they only have power if you give them power.

That's all I have to say about that. :)

I agree, words are just words.

More offensive words can give more expression in speech I think. This could be why people use them, rather than intending offense (unless in an argument).

Just a thought
"What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds."

Quote:

Originally Posted by paraclete

Just a thought
"What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds."

I like that quote :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by paraclete

Just a thought
"What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds."

Actually, what this country needs is more personal responsibility, and less belief that we should interfere in the lives and beliefs of other people.

That's my theory about divorce Syn!

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello A:

Well, you DESERVED them both. Are you shooting for another?

excon

DESERVED? I must have touched a sore spot. Did I? Why don't you tell us what it was?

Or would you prefer to go on with what you said you never do?

Am I shooting for another? Wow, very scary.

You threaten like the little girl you are.

Hello A:

Out from under your rock again, huh?

excon

Since I do not have no cable.

I guess sitting here watching this is very funny comedic entertainment.

Thanks Excon.

Joe

Heck, I even HAVE cable and I'm still here watching this instead!

I'm half tempted to contact a good psychic to see what other life excon must have wronged this guy...

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello A:

Out from under your rock again, huh?

excon

Was that your best shot?

Pretty lame and girly.

(I wonder if... when he saying in his mind what he is typing out... he actually talks/thinks it in a Saturday-Night-Live-Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Pump-You-Up accent..? )

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrJ

(I wonder if... when he saying in his mind what he is typing out... he actually talks/thinks it in a Saturday-Night-Live-Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Pump-You-Up accent...???)

I just snorkeled. Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello Christians, and anyone else who is offended by down home cussing:

I started thinking about words. I'm not offended by any of them. Some of the worst, are actually the best, in my view. But, I know some people are, and I wanted to talk to them. You guys are the closest to the ones whom I'd expect are offended by certain words....

Ok, is it the WORD, or what the word suggests that is offensive? Like, how is, "that's freaking good" OK, as opposed to "that's f***** good"? Is even writing that word the way I just did using lots of ***'s, offensive???

excon

Ex,

I think swearing is trashy. I don't like it. I have used so called "bad" words before but in general... it is soooooooooooo not classy! :)

Did you know that the Bible says this... Isaiah 29:21 That make a man an offender for a word, and lay a snare for him that reproveth in the gate, and turn aside the just for a thing of nought

It is just a word... who decides if it is BAD.. Personally, I think that Christians that swear like a sailor is not representing Christ but it is just a word.