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Originally Posted by mred

Good question. We are not allowed to have sex and we committed that error at the outset. You see, I am not yet baptized and didnt even know what fornication is until he taught me about it. He had known it all along and recently broke up with me to avoid committing fornication with me. I have since resisted his advances til then but now he's sleeping with other women and keeping it cool at the congregation.

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So you're not sinless, but you dare to judge someone else?

Do JW's not subscribe to God being a forgiving God? Is he the hell, fire and brimstone God, or the God that accepts all, loves all, judges no one and forgives all sins?

If he's the H,F and B God, then I have a perfect reason to slam the door in the face of the next JW that comes knocking.

You don't have the right to judge, you aren't God!

If you report him, that is a far greater sin then anything he has done, because you're doing it for revenge, you just won't admit it to yourself.

God sees into your soul, you can write lies here, but you know the truth and so does He. Think about that before you report your ex.

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Originally Posted by mred

is this you my ex talking?

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Are you asking if Starty is your ex?

Well, seeing as she is married and has 4 beautiful children, I'd guess no. :(

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

You were living with him, is that allowed in your congregation?

I'll keep asking until I get an answer. I'm guessing that I haven't gotten an answer because it is indeed not allowed by your church and you know it.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Put the rock down sweetie, you have no right even to hold it, let alone throw it.

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Its NOT allowed. The difference is he is baptized and vowed to be committed to his faith and he knows the Scriptures so well. I didn't know what fornication was until we already had sex and he told me it is fornication. How can I feel guilty at that time when I didn't know? Im unbaptized and new to the faith

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Originally Posted by mred

Good question. We are not allowed to have sex and we committed that error at the outset. You see, I am not yet baptized and didn't even know what fornication is until he taught me about it. He had known it all along and recently broke up with me to avoid committing fornication with me. I have since resisted his advances til then but now he's sleeping with other women and keeping it cool at the congregation.

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Oh, so you're a sinner too. Did you also tell this sister that you had sex with him, that you two were living together?
You have another post here talking about how angry you are, how you're texting and calling him yet here you want to pretend a pure heart.
You are trying to justify what you know was wrong. You should have kept your mouth shut. This man's "sin" would have come out sooner or later, but it should not have come from you. That's like the pot calling the kettle black.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

So you're not sinless, but you dare to judge someone else?

Do JW's not subscribe to God being a forgiving God? Is he the hell, fire and brimstone God, or the God that accepts all, loves all, judges no one and forgives all sins?

If he's the H,F and B God, then I have a perfect reason to slam the door in the face of the next JW that comes knocking.

You don't have the right to judge, you aren't God!

If you report him, that is a far greater sin then anything he has done, because you're doing it for revenge, you just won't admit it to yourself.

God sees into your soul, you can write lies here, but you know the truth and so does He. Think about that before you report your ex.

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Please don't take it against our faith. I don't want to argue on that note and on this site. Maybe Im new at my faith but I know our God is forgiving but he's also God of perfect justice. It was a more spiritually mature sister in the congregation advising me to pursue notifying our congregation about my ex. I already told her I would just want to keep silent but she said it is my duty to report it. The congregation will still investigate and do due process before he gets any discipline

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Originally Posted by mred

Please dont take it against our faith. I dont want to argue on that note and on this site. Maybe Im new at my faith but I know our God is forgiving but he's also God of perfect justice. It was a more spiritually mature sister in the congregation advising me to pursue notifying our congregation about my ex. I already told her I would just wanna keep silent but she said it is my duty to report it. the congregation will still investigate and do due process before he gets any discipline

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Your God isn't forgiving. You said yourself that the congregation get's rid of the "rotten" people. That's not forgiveness, that's judgment.

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Originally Posted by mred

is this you my ex talking?

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Uh, no. But I am sure he would be saying something like I did. Seriously though, if you really want to feel good about a bad situation, move on and really work on yourself. You are number one, not him, or anyone else. You can be doing really positive things, you should be at least. This is called DRAMA, this is gossip and it is wrong! Good luck

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Originally Posted by startover22

Uh, no. But I am sure he would be saying something like I did. Seriously though, if you really want to feel good about a bad situation, move on and really work on yourself. You are number one, not him, or anyone else. You can be doing really positive things, you should be at least. This is called DRAMA, this is gossip and it is wrong! Good luck

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Thank you. You know it helps that someone else is validating my ex's thoughts and actions. Gosh, Im wondering if this just a cultural gap that makes us misunderstand each other from the very start. He's american and Im Asian. I bet u are american?

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Your God isn't forgiving. You said yourself that the congregation get's rid of the "rotten" people. That's not forgiveness, that's judgment.

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Please don't let my words speak for the entire congregation. Im new at my faith and I could be wrong with the things I said. Im glad that I saw the other side of the coin from your end and Id like to thank you.

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Originally Posted by mred

Please don't let my words speak for the entire congregation. Im new at my faith and I could be wrong with the things I said. Im glad that I saw the other side of the coin from your end and Id like to thank you.

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Well you're welcome. I hope that you re-think what you're doing and why you're doing it. Be honest with yourself.

You started a ball rolling and it may be too late to stop it, but the least you can do is admit your sin, admit that you did this out of vengeance and not because of your beliefs. If you truly believe in this faith, then you must own up to your sins as well.

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Originally Posted by Altenweg

Well you're welcome. I hope that you re-think what you're doing and why you're doing it. Be honest with yourself.

You started a ball rolling and it may be too late to stop it, but the least you can do is admit your sin, admit that you did this out of vengeance and not because of your beliefs. If you truly believe in this faith, then you must own up to your sins as well.

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It is initially out of vengeance but as I started to calm down and see all sides to this issue, I guess Im thinking and rethinking and weighing things objectively. To tell u honestly, reporting him would cause trouble to me as well. The religious sister was more eager about it

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Originally Posted by mred

It is initially out of vengeance but as I started to calm down and see all sides to this issue, I guess Im thinking and rethinking and weighing things objectively. To tell u honestly, reporting him would cause trouble to me as well. The religious sister was more eager about it

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So this religious sister is eager to expose him. What does that tell you about her? I doubt that she is sinless, no one is.

The only thing I know about your chosen religion is what I learned from my neighbor. She was a JW, but she chose to leave. Obviously she doesn't condone the behavior of the people in her congregation, she chose to leave because she didn't like the way things were handled, the restrictions made on women etc. That's neither here nor there.

This is the faith you've chosen, but I think you're realizing that no one is perfect. Yes, you too could be thrown under the bus if you report this. You could be labeled one of the "rotten" ones by the congregation. My question is, who in the congregation is allowed to make this judgment? Only God is without sin. If man is judging man, he has no right. Your "religious sister" has no right, you have no right, so what does telling on someone accomplish. Who is the judge? Only one being has the right to judge and it's not anyone in the congregation.

I would ask your religious sister if she would like her sins revealed to the congregation.

Also, she told someone in the faith that told "her" to report, since the other person knows why did they not merely report it ?

But no, it is not your place, we don't have to be perfect to be baptised, we only have to want to be saved. God takes and accepts us the way we are, and then works to change us.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Also, she told someone in the faith that told "her" to report, since the other person knows why did they not merely report it ?

But no, it is not your place, we don't have to be perfect to be baptised, we only have to want to be saved. God takes and accepts us the way we are, and then works to change us.

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For people of faith I think that is the most important thing. It's God's decision, not mans.

No, I'm not a Christian, or a JW, or anything when it comes to religious beliefs, but having said that, if you do believe, it's up to the God you believe in, not the person sitting next to you. :)

you should be happy for them that they wanted to be baptised, happy for them that they are going to church. This means they may at some time start living the life style more and more.

Also doing things in spite against someone is a serious sin also, so move on, get over it ( with time) and worry about your life, not his

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Originally Posted by mred

Please dont take it against our faith. I dont want to argue on that note and on this site. Maybe Im new at my faith but I know our God is forgiving but he's also God of perfect justice. It was a more spiritually mature sister in the congregation advising me to pursue notifying our congregation about my ex. I already told her I would just wanna keep silent but she said it is my duty to report it. the congregation will still investigate and do due process before he gets any discipline

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If you wanted to just keep silent, you would not have told her.
You went to her to spread stuff about a man you are angry with. That is gossip and you did it in hope that it would be spread and he would be shamed.
Well it has come back to bite you. You bit off more than you can chew and now you must live with whatever mess hits the fan.
Vengeance is an ugly motivator that's why it belongs to God, not man.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Amazingly, in Christian fundamentalist churches such as the JWs, the one who reports the sin (for whatever reason) is not faulted by the congregation, and may even be applauded. What the church wants to do is expose the sin, hope the sinner will publicly repent (and will make life uncomfortable for him until he does, or instead disfellowships him). The exposure of the sin is everything, as a lesson for all "to eschew all evil."

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Originally Posted by mred

Thank you for explaining this. This is true and based on the Bible. You a witness?

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No, but I have a good friend who is a Witness. Plus, I grew up in an evangelical/fundamentalism church and know very well how things work.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If you wanted to just keep silent, you would not have told her.
You went to her to spread stuff about a man you are angry with. That is gossip and you did it in hope that it would be spread and he would be shamed.
Well it has come back to bite you. You bit off more than you can chew and now you must live with whatever mess hits the fan.
Vengeance is an ugly motivator that's why it belongs to God, not man.

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No, I never wanted to spread stuff about my ex's behavior. I had been initially emotional about this whole mess but ultimately my goal for having confided in a concerned sister is to get opinion because I know my ex could be misguided and he actually confessed to me that he needed spiritual help. Again, I cannot speak for my congregation yet because I am new at this.

Oh, so you did this so he could get spiritual guidance? Right!
You did this for revenge as you stated in your other thread. You were asking how you can get back at him.
You both are in need of spiritual guidance.

It really comes down to one thing. Worrying about yourself and not others. That is really the point here. I honestly think gossip and getting into others business is one of the most evil things. Especially when it doesn't stay right where it should and gets spread like an awful disease! You will be sorry you started this, maybe not today... but some day you will, and that really sucks! Just stop the ball now and leave it be. I wish you the best of luck with your pure intentions.