Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

Good question. We are not allowed to have sex and we committed that error at the outset. You see, I am not yet baptized and didnt even know what fornication is until he taught me about it. He had known it all along and recently broke up with me to avoid committing fornication with me. I have since resisted his advances til then but now he's sleeping with other women and keeping it cool at the congregation.

---

So you're not sinless, but you dare to judge someone else?

Do JW's not subscribe to God being a forgiving God? Is he the hell, fire and brimstone God, or the God that accepts all, loves all, judges no one and forgives all sins?

If he's the H,F and B God, then I have a perfect reason to slam the door in the face of the next JW that comes knocking.

You don't have the right to judge, you aren't God!

If you report him, that is a far greater sin then anything he has done, because you're doing it for revenge, you just won't admit it to yourself.

God sees into your soul, you can write lies here, but you know the truth and so does He. Think about that before you report your ex.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

is this you my ex talking?

---

Are you asking if Starty is your ex?

Well, seeing as she is married and has 4 beautiful children, I'd guess no. :(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

You were living with him, is that allowed in your congregation?

I'll keep asking until I get an answer. I'm guessing that I haven't gotten an answer because it is indeed not allowed by your church and you know it.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Put the rock down sweetie, you have no right even to hold it, let alone throw it.

---

Its NOT allowed. The difference is he is baptized and vowed to be committed to his faith and he knows the Scriptures so well. I didn't know what fornication was until we already had sex and he told me it is fornication. How can I feel guilty at that time when I didn't know? Im unbaptized and new to the faith

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

Good question. We are not allowed to have sex and we committed that error at the outset. You see, I am not yet baptized and didn't even know what fornication is until he taught me about it. He had known it all along and recently broke up with me to avoid committing fornication with me. I have since resisted his advances til then but now he's sleeping with other women and keeping it cool at the congregation.

---

Oh, so you're a sinner too. Did you also tell this sister that you had sex with him, that you two were living together?
You have another post here talking about how angry you are, how you're texting and calling him yet here you want to pretend a pure heart.
You are trying to justify what you know was wrong. You should have kept your mouth shut. This man's "sin" would have come out sooner or later, but it should not have come from you. That's like the pot calling the kettle black.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

So you're not sinless, but you dare to judge someone else?

Do JW's not subscribe to God being a forgiving God? Is he the hell, fire and brimstone God, or the God that accepts all, loves all, judges no one and forgives all sins?

If he's the H,F and B God, then I have a perfect reason to slam the door in the face of the next JW that comes knocking.

You don't have the right to judge, you aren't God!

If you report him, that is a far greater sin then anything he has done, because you're doing it for revenge, you just won't admit it to yourself.

God sees into your soul, you can write lies here, but you know the truth and so does He. Think about that before you report your ex.

---

Please don't take it against our faith. I don't want to argue on that note and on this site. Maybe Im new at my faith but I know our God is forgiving but he's also God of perfect justice. It was a more spiritually mature sister in the congregation advising me to pursue notifying our congregation about my ex. I already told her I would just want to keep silent but she said it is my duty to report it. The congregation will still investigate and do due process before he gets any discipline

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

Please dont take it against our faith. I dont want to argue on that note and on this site. Maybe Im new at my faith but I know our God is forgiving but he's also God of perfect justice. It was a more spiritually mature sister in the congregation advising me to pursue notifying our congregation about my ex. I already told her I would just wanna keep silent but she said it is my duty to report it. the congregation will still investigate and do due process before he gets any discipline

---

Your God isn't forgiving. You said yourself that the congregation get's rid of the "rotten" people. That's not forgiveness, that's judgment.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

is this you my ex talking?

---

Uh, no. But I am sure he would be saying something like I did. Seriously though, if you really want to feel good about a bad situation, move on and really work on yourself. You are number one, not him, or anyone else. You can be doing really positive things, you should be at least. This is called DRAMA, this is gossip and it is wrong! Good luck

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by startover22

Uh, no. But I am sure he would be saying something like I did. Seriously though, if you really want to feel good about a bad situation, move on and really work on yourself. You are number one, not him, or anyone else. You can be doing really positive things, you should be at least. This is called DRAMA, this is gossip and it is wrong! Good luck

---

Thank you. You know it helps that someone else is validating my ex's thoughts and actions. Gosh, Im wondering if this just a cultural gap that makes us misunderstand each other from the very start. He's american and Im Asian. I bet u are american?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Your God isn't forgiving. You said yourself that the congregation get's rid of the "rotten" people. That's not forgiveness, that's judgment.

---

Please don't let my words speak for the entire congregation. Im new at my faith and I could be wrong with the things I said. Im glad that I saw the other side of the coin from your end and Id like to thank you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

Please don't let my words speak for the entire congregation. Im new at my faith and I could be wrong with the things I said. Im glad that I saw the other side of the coin from your end and Id like to thank you.

---

Well you're welcome. I hope that you re-think what you're doing and why you're doing it. Be honest with yourself.

You started a ball rolling and it may be too late to stop it, but the least you can do is admit your sin, admit that you did this out of vengeance and not because of your beliefs. If you truly believe in this faith, then you must own up to your sins as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Well you're welcome. I hope that you re-think what you're doing and why you're doing it. Be honest with yourself.

You started a ball rolling and it may be too late to stop it, but the least you can do is admit your sin, admit that you did this out of vengeance and not because of your beliefs. If you truly believe in this faith, then you must own up to your sins as well.

---

It is initially out of vengeance but as I started to calm down and see all sides to this issue, I guess Im thinking and rethinking and weighing things objectively. To tell u honestly, reporting him would cause trouble to me as well. The religious sister was more eager about it

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

It is initially out of vengeance but as I started to calm down and see all sides to this issue, I guess Im thinking and rethinking and weighing things objectively. To tell u honestly, reporting him would cause trouble to me as well. The religious sister was more eager about it

---

So this religious sister is eager to expose him. What does that tell you about her? I doubt that she is sinless, no one is.

The only thing I know about your chosen religion is what I learned from my neighbor. She was a JW, but she chose to leave. Obviously she doesn't condone the behavior of the people in her congregation, she chose to leave because she didn't like the way things were handled, the restrictions made on women etc. That's neither here nor there.

This is the faith you've chosen, but I think you're realizing that no one is perfect. Yes, you too could be thrown under the bus if you report this. You could be labeled one of the "rotten" ones by the congregation. My question is, who in the congregation is allowed to make this judgment? Only God is without sin. If man is judging man, he has no right. Your "religious sister" has no right, you have no right, so what does telling on someone accomplish. Who is the judge? Only one being has the right to judge and it's not anyone in the congregation.

I would ask your religious sister if she would like her sins revealed to the congregation.

Also, she told someone in the faith that told "her" to report, since the other person knows why did they not merely report it ?

But no, it is not your place, we don't have to be perfect to be baptised, we only have to want to be saved. God takes and accepts us the way we are, and then works to change us.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Also, she told someone in the faith that told "her" to report, since the other person knows why did they not merely report it ?

But no, it is not your place, we don't have to be perfect to be baptised, we only have to want to be saved. God takes and accepts us the way we are, and then works to change us.

---

For people of faith I think that is the most important thing. It's God's decision, not mans.

No, I'm not a Christian, or a JW, or anything when it comes to religious beliefs, but having said that, if you do believe, it's up to the God you believe in, not the person sitting next to you. :)

you should be happy for them that they wanted to be baptised, happy for them that they are going to church. This means they may at some time start living the life style more and more.

Also doing things in spite against someone is a serious sin also, so move on, get over it ( with time) and worry about your life, not his

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

Please dont take it against our faith. I dont want to argue on that note and on this site. Maybe Im new at my faith but I know our God is forgiving but he's also God of perfect justice. It was a more spiritually mature sister in the congregation advising me to pursue notifying our congregation about my ex. I already told her I would just wanna keep silent but she said it is my duty to report it. the congregation will still investigate and do due process before he gets any discipline

---

If you wanted to just keep silent, you would not have told her.
You went to her to spread stuff about a man you are angry with. That is gossip and you did it in hope that it would be spread and he would be shamed.
Well it has come back to bite you. You bit off more than you can chew and now you must live with whatever mess hits the fan.
Vengeance is an ugly motivator that's why it belongs to God, not man.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Amazingly, in Christian fundamentalist churches such as the JWs, the one who reports the sin (for whatever reason) is not faulted by the congregation, and may even be applauded. What the church wants to do is expose the sin, hope the sinner will publicly repent (and will make life uncomfortable for him until he does, or instead disfellowships him). The exposure of the sin is everything, as a lesson for all "to eschew all evil."

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

Thank you for explaining this. This is true and based on the Bible. You a witness?

---

No, but I have a good friend who is a Witness. Plus, I grew up in an evangelical/fundamentalism church and know very well how things work.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If you wanted to just keep silent, you would not have told her.
You went to her to spread stuff about a man you are angry with. That is gossip and you did it in hope that it would be spread and he would be shamed.
Well it has come back to bite you. You bit off more than you can chew and now you must live with whatever mess hits the fan.
Vengeance is an ugly motivator that's why it belongs to God, not man.

---

No, I never wanted to spread stuff about my ex's behavior. I had been initially emotional about this whole mess but ultimately my goal for having confided in a concerned sister is to get opinion because I know my ex could be misguided and he actually confessed to me that he needed spiritual help. Again, I cannot speak for my congregation yet because I am new at this.

Oh, so you did this so he could get spiritual guidance? Right!
You did this for revenge as you stated in your other thread. You were asking how you can get back at him.
You both are in need of spiritual guidance.

It really comes down to one thing. Worrying about yourself and not others. That is really the point here. I honestly think gossip and getting into others business is one of the most evil things. Especially when it doesn't stay right where it should and gets spread like an awful disease! You will be sorry you started this, maybe not today... but some day you will, and that really sucks! Just stop the ball now and leave it be. I wish you the best of luck with your pure intentions.

Mred

Romans 12:

Quote:

---

17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[e] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

---

It is perfectly understandable that you are hurt by this guy, angry, and perfectly human to want revenge - to see him get his. I'm not sure about JW doctrine, but since accepting God in faith, you are called to be more than just human. God forgives us for our sin. God loves us before we love God. 1 john 4. That being the case, the first step in healing is asking God to help your pain and to help you FORGIVE this guy and let go of the anger that controls your thoughts and emotions. This may take some time but it is what God has done for our own sins.

If you are in a church that expects people to be sinless, perfect : run away !

Mark 2:17

17On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."


About words, read James 3, Proverbs 10:19.




G&P

mred,

My advise? keep your mouth shut and if there really is something evil that needs to be revealed.. let GOD do the revealing.

Incidentally gossip is ALSO a sin. Something the Lord frowns on pretty bad. Check out what happened to Miriam, Moses sister when she gossiped about the wife of Moses.

Use wisdom, say nothing and if your church really says they are weeding out the "rotten ones", find another church. That isn't scriptural... AT ALL.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mred

My ex has recently been baptized in his new faith but has been acting in violation of Biblical principles being taught in his congregation. He is committing fornication by sleeping wtih women he is not married to and such an act is enough grounds for him to be disfellowshipped. I confided to one religious sister about this and she strongly advised me to report this to congregational elders for investigation and discipline measures. You see, I just broke up with my ex and despite my desire to move on, I feel obliged by my faith (we share the same faith) to report his behavior. He would definitely know if he gets investigated that I am responsible for notifying the congregation and Im afraid he might think Im still bitter about our relationship and worse, he might deny his acts and refuse discipline from the congregation. Worst, he might just stop pursuing his faith. I am torn now if I should just keep silent or continue wtih reporting his behavior. Am I doing more harm than good for reporting him?

---

No, You should not report him. It's not your business and it's not the elders business. This is between him , his conscious and his god. Investigation ? Disciplinary action? If he was your minister that was being paid by you for leadership, yes. Being a fellow congregationalist ? No way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by classyT

mred,

My advise?, keep your mouth shut and if there really is something evil that needs to be revealed..let GOD do the revealing.

Incidently gossip is ALSO a sin. Something the Lord frowns on pretty bad. Check out what happened to Miriam, Moses sister when she gossiped about the wife of Moses.

Use wisdom, say nothing and if your church really says they are weeding out the "rotten ones", find another church. That isn't scriptural....AT ALL.

---

Guess what Classy T ? I agree with you 100% !:)

Cozyk,

And people don't believe in miracles... ha ha. ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by classyT

Cozyk,

and people don't believe in miracles...ha ha. ;)

---

mred;
You are not his judge, God is. There are no big sins or little sins. Gossiping to another one of the Church members is a sin. Stirring up strife in the church is a sin. " Ye who is without sin cast the first stone."I don't think anyone of your church members would or could throw any.

Jehovah's Witnesses are required to live by example. While no one is perfect, a direct violation of God's Law re: fornication must be dealt with, in order for him to start again with a clean conscious, and to ensure that the reputation of the Christian congregation not to be dirtied.
I am also scriptually divorced (according to the Bible, Jesus stated the only way that marriage could be dissolved to allow remarriage is adultery) and it is understandable for someone to feel hurt, angry and resentful when someone has committed adultery. Time will help, along with help from your family and friends.

If fornication is to be dealt with then bring all the following before the church. Liars, thieves, idolaters, murderers, gossipers, false prophets, whore mongers and whores, people who miss church, haters, double minded people, disobedient children. There wouldn't be anyone left sitting in the pews, myself included.

I love the Lord and I know he loves me and he has been so good to me. It's not up to anyone to judge anyone and gossip about them. Sin is sin. God Forgives. When you break one commandment , you break them all.

Complicate it all you want.

My ex wife had a long term affair with a married man.

If find it unbelievably distasteful that she, on one hand, wants a more transparent life, closer to God... and on the other, is probably secretly wishing he abandons his family and vows to be with her.

I don't get it.

It doesn't matter.

Deep breath in and deep breath out.

Stay out of his bedroom. Stay out of his life. Its just better for you.

I understand that really believing sometimes compells us, even demands of us, to do things we might not want to do because we are called to...

Look... we are flawed. Who doesn't come to any faith with issues to work out? That's not a pass to be an idiot... but it is his job to follow his faith, uh, faithfully... step away and focus on yourself.