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-   -   Why would my boyfriend rather jack off than have sex with me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/why-would-boyfriend-rather-jack-off-than-have-sex-me-506671.html)

  • Sep 11, 2010, 09:35 AM
    lam227
    Why would my boyfriend rather jack off than have sex with me?
    I have been with my boyfriend for over six years .He would rather watch porn and jack off than have sex with me.He is 49 and I am 33 he shows me No sexual attention at all .What could the problem be?
  • Sep 11, 2010, 09:48 AM
    Cat1864

    There are a lot of reasons. Have you tried talking with him about your concerns when you aren't in the bedroom or expecting sex? Not accusing or confronting but talking and sharing?

    Has this been going on throughout the six years or is it a recent development?

    What is his health like? Does he have any medical conditions or is he taking any medicines that could influence his libido and how he handles it?

    If it is a recent development, what has changed?

    One of the first things to do, if you haven't already, is talk with him and find out what his thoughts and feelings are. The second is to find out if there is a physical/medical reason.
  • Sep 11, 2010, 10:50 AM
    LifeChangesMan
    A simple answer, would be that he simply prefers masturbation stimulation rather then sexual stimulation with you. My buddy has admitted this to me, and his fiance' that's why I would consider this.
  • Sep 11, 2010, 10:55 AM
    jmjoseph

    He's selfish and lazy. And could be addicted to porn. He simply would rather satisfy himself, and not be bothered with you, or your needs.

    How long are you willing to let this go on?
  • Sep 11, 2010, 11:03 AM
    Dysenchanted

    Sounds to me like you need to sit down and talk to him. There's more than just masturbation vs. sex going on here. The two of you need to discuss this.

    How long has this sexual distancing been going on, and how long are you willing to let it?
  • Sep 12, 2010, 11:17 PM
    dslara73
    I just broke up with my fiance' because of this saame reason. He said he needs therapy. He knows he needs help. Yet he promises and promises to get help. I could not take it anymore. I caught him in the bathroom jacking off when night after night day after day I would beg to please him any way he wants. It has destroyed myself confidence to a pointe where I was physically ill. I was starting to get mental. Do yourself a favor... PUT YOU FIRST.
  • Sep 13, 2010, 05:41 AM
    Devorameira

    Porn and masturbation addiction seems to be running rampant lately. There are sexual recovery treatment centers springing up everywhere to try and deal with it.

    His behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you - he is the one with the problem, and until he addresses it, he can't get better. Your boyfriend really needs to get some counseling to get past his addictions.
  • Sep 13, 2010, 09:52 AM
    answerme_tender

    He is 49yrs and has addiction to porn or prefers Rosie to you, this is not a hard one (no punn intended)LOL. Your 33, move on and find someone who really wants an full filling relationship. There are enough everyday complications to deal with in a relationshp, but if your not marriaged to him and obviously he still prefers Rosie to you, its time to move on. Unless you want to waste another six years and pay for his carpal tunnel surgeries.
  • Sep 15, 2010, 07:41 PM
    beachloverjohn

    There is one word that would describe him. SELFISH. He is not even worth your time. Think about it. You ask him what he would think of you if you masterbated instead of being intimate with him. This guy has some serious issues, and unless you're willing to spend your nights alone, you need to cut him loose.
  • Sep 15, 2010, 09:44 PM
    Enigma1999

    Hello Iam,

    I have to agree with everyone else. He does sound selfish to YOUR needs.

    How long has he been acting this way?

    Do you try to talk to him about it? If so, what's his response?

    Have you ever considered you both going to counseling?
  • Sep 16, 2010, 12:47 PM
    talaniman

    Why haven't you asked him what's the problem? If you did, what did he say? What have you done to resolve this issue?
  • Jul 5, 2011, 04:03 PM
    Mclovenhd77
    Sure run off leave him maybe its not him its you. How have been taking care of yourself, how's your looks comparied to the porn stars. Oh but I'm just a prick no, I just look at both sides instead of leaving or messing around take control and if he wants a handjob do it so much it hurts. Show up where he works, do it watching a movie, do it in the car. Hell by a flesh light. Don't try to talk to him about it because he is more than likely emberraced by it and would rather fight than talk about it. Talking doesn't solve everything.
  • Jul 5, 2011, 04:12 PM
    Enigma1999
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Mclovenhd77 View Post
    Sure run off leave him maybe its not him its you. How have been taking care of yourself, hows your looks comparied to the porn stars. Oh but I'm just a prick no, I just look at both sides instead of leaving or messing around take controll and if he wants a handjob do it so much it hurts. Show up where he works, do it watching a movie, do it in the car. Hell by a flesh light. Don't try to talk to him about it because he is more than likely emberraced by it and would rather fight than talk about it. Talking doesn't solve everything.


    This post is dated back to September of 2010. I'm sure OP figured it out by now.

    Please check the dates of the threads.

    Thank you and welcome to AMHD.:)

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