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    winkz014's Avatar
    winkz014 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 24, 2012, 07:57 AM
    What should I do when relationship has trust and personal issues?
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 yrs. & 7 months. And within that period there are several times that I broke up with him because of "too much jealousy issues" over my co-workers, friends and even strangers, he always want to know where I am, who I’m with, what I do and he even knew all my passwords on my accounts, too much sex, he always wants to be with me almost every day and lastly we quarrel several times.

    He was my 2nd boyfriend, but he was my 1st serious and long time relationship. He always wants to make me feel special and very important part of his life, he also promised me that within the both of us, he will never broke up with me, and I was very happy back then. Until we came up to the topic of "marrying", which got my personal issues and put our relationship in a rough road. I felt like I want to do something without him, feel free and less worries, there are also times that I lost my excitement towards our relationship because of our routine like, we see each other every day after work on weekdays or even weekends. I felt like I lost my individuality and I needed to bring my old self back-needing friends instead of him.

    Until we got problems, and I was shocked because he was the one that broke up with me. We talked and try to resolve the issue between us. But after a week, I thought were okay not until I found a personal message of his EX-GF on his cellphone, I asked him and tried to lie but then I found out that on our 2nd yr. and 3 months. When he felt alone without me and nowhere to talk to, he found his EX-GF and he shared every problems he got from me, his work and his family. He said, they seen each other several times behind my back. He told me that He got confused on what he really felt between me and that girl. I felt so hurt, betrayed, and guilty because that reflects what I did to him within those 2yrs.

    Then he came back to me, and I gave him a 2nd and last chance to save what's left in our relationship. I'm willing to make a fresh start by giving my all. But now, he changed a lot, he is now attached with his friends, always had a Friday night life, do what he wants, he even didn't care about the things that I gave to him. I felt that, this isn't the boy I fell in love with. And now, I became paranoid with trust issues we had, I almost stalk him through gps. I always check his phone, his emails and even his friends.

    At the end of the day, I felt disappointed with myself, worthless and cheap. I'm expecting him to win back my trust but every time he said "I love you", I felt like it's empty. I'm trying but it’s so hard to bring back the trust that was broken. What should I do?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    Jun 24, 2012, 06:14 PM
    You shouldn't have ever gotten back with him in the first place. It's like buying the same crappy chocolate bar twice hoping it's going to taste better this time.

    You can't "save" relationships, when you come to that point, the there should be no more progression. A relationship with someone that feels like a routine, or a relationship without trust is no relationship.

    You need to get rid of this guy and start moving on, you're long overdue.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jun 24, 2012, 10:43 PM
    If things cannot be resolved through HONEST communications, then chances are its time to reevalute, regroup, without them.
    winkz014's Avatar
    winkz014 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 27, 2012, 04:08 AM
    I want to trust him again by sharing thoughts and problems to each other and more bonding. But last night I shared a problem to him, and when we meet today, he didn't even asked me about how am I doing all he's saying is about his problems on work and in need of sex. When we look in each others eyes he is the first one who looked away, and before I left he said that he lost his ring. Sometimes I feel like he's weighing things out between me and other things that I didn't know. He's trying to be cool in front of other people but I feel like he's hiding his true self. I'm over thinking of all the things about him everyday and I don't know what to do. He's not the same boy I fell in love with, who truly loves and cares for me.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #5

    Jun 27, 2012, 06:06 AM
    You're running around in circles. What are you doing with him still? You're only feeling this way because you allow yourself to by staying in this unhealthy relationship. You're also doubtful and don't trust him. Have some dignity, stand up for yourself and stop putting yourself through this abuse.

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