A married man try so hard to to be in the company of a certain young woman, and not want her to be friends with any of his friends?

Why would a man behave so cruel towards a young woman and go out of his way to mistreat her and be unfair towards her? (they are not in a relationship, just acquainted for many years) He goes out of his way to sabotage anything that has to do with her. If it is hate, how does he allow it to motivate him to do these things? He tends to walk away or make himself unavailable to talk to him. Like he does not want to have to explain his actions. But if his hate is motivating him, why so intense? His personality is not the same with others, just her. There are other's that he dislikes that he does not treat that way. Its just that they share a group and friends. Seems like he is turning everyone against her and keeping he away from her responsibilities where she has no one to interact with. If he suspects anyone wondering why he is arranging things the way he is, he walks away or tries not to get into that discussion. They are not and were never together. He's twice her age. She has know is some ways that she is aware of his behavior. He seems happy when his behavior affects her. But it's a mystery why it would make him happy to see her like that.

Ask him. Anything else is pure guesswork.

My question would be why she continues to expose herself to his abuse.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JudyKayTee again.

Why does she put up with it?

His behavior is known only to him. We can't begin to get into his head to figure out why he does what he does.

She can change her behavior, but she can't change his.

My question is why she allows him to be in her life? She has the option to walk away. If she doesn't, then she's a willing victim. That's her choice.


My question would be why the certain young woman is allowing this. He's married. He has nothing to offer her, other then friendship, and if he's a friend then why is she allowing him to dictate who she's friends with? Even if they were dating he wouldn't have that right.

She has many options. She can grow up and tell him to leave her alone, or she can continue allowing this married man to not only use her, but tell her how to live her life.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JudyKayTee again.

Why does she put up with it?

His behavior is known only to him. We can't begin to get into his head to figure out why he does what he does.

She can change her behavior, but she can't change his.

My question is why she allows him to be in her life? She has the option to walk away. If she doesn't, then she's a willing victim. That's her choice.

My question would be why the certain young woman is allowing this. He's married. He has nothing to offer her, other then friendship, and if he's a friend then why is she allowing him to dictate who she's friends with? Even if they were dating he wouldn't have that right.

She has many options. She can grow up and tell him to leave her alone, or she can continue allowing this married man to not only use her, but tell her how to live her life.

Is the person in question you? Also, is this friendship more then a friendship?

Is this the same man you're talking about in your other post?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-591145.html

There is nothing more unanswerable than a question asked on behalf of someone else.
It's boring and annoying to try to read second hand questions that aren't specific.
All we read is that some man is cruel to a younger woman acquaintance, and she puts up with it, and you think we will know why. We can speculate about cruelty: it can have many origins. One is pain, an attempt to show the world the pain you endured by dishing the same out to others. Another might be warped love, punishment for not being able to have the love of the person you are cruel to. The list goes on. You can ask him, you can ask her, you can draw your own conclusions.

Yes. The person is me. I am the girl. I am not putting you with it. I think that's why he is trying harder. And it's a situation that he knows I have to remain in his presence (long story on that).

You have to remain in his presence? Why? Are you chained up in his basement? Are you locked in a closet? If not, then why do you have to remain in his presence? What about his wife? Does she like that fact that you "have to remain in his presence"?

If he treats you like crap and you don't leave, then I have news for you. You are putting up with it.

You always have the option to leave, unless you're in a situation like the ones I mentioned above, in which case you wouldn't be allowed access to the computer.

Stop making excuses. You have the power to leave. If you really feel stuck, call his wife and tell her what's going on. I'm sure that after that he'll let you leave.

Maybe the full story with better facts would help us all, and as you all may have figured out, this thread was merged with the other one.

It still didn't make a lot of sense, but more information would surely help.

More annoyance. Any long story has it's short version. Work on it. Stop being so cryptic if you actually want advice.

Work related relationship? Are you his family housekeeper or nanny and an illegal and don't know how to to get out? His chief financial officer at his corporation that is about to go public and you'll be damned if you are going to give up those stock options? The suspense of 'having to remain in his presence' sounds like a bad movie.

Sorry about my last two post. Maybe the way I am explaining it now may help you give a much better reply:

Here's the situation in a nutshell:

A guy met young woman and her family. He just moved in her area to manage a volunteer group. He has a wonderful wife. They start to make good progress with the group. Guy is friend with young woman's aunt and sister. Guy and his wife compliments young woman on her good conduct and cheerful personality. Guy sometimes try to offer assistance to young woman. Young woman accepted at first.

However, as time goes by, young woman declines offers, not wanting to seem needy and be a burden on guy and wife. Later, young woman live alone. As times goes by, guy starts to draw away in his communication with young woman. Guy starts to seem sad around young woman and ignores her.

Then later, new member join the group. It's a female. New member likes a lot of attention, and soon enough, makes friendship with guy and wife. Now guy feels he has good friendships. Guy starts to cause division in the group. Guy keeps close friendship with new member and returning members that is friends with new member. Guy tries to exclude former young woman from group activities, and giving her a hard time, while showing favor to his friends alone. Guy's personality starts to show strange to some group member.

Young woman starts to keep a low profile. Guy seems confused why young woman is so quiet.


Edited, and merged with previous threads/T

Thank you for adding details to your story, it helps, and be aware that your posts, ALL OF THEM, have been put in one place.

As to your problem, guy clearly has made new attachments, and if girl intends to stay with this group, she must continue to keep a low profile, and not worry about the guys antics, or what motivates those antics. If he causes friction within the group, then the group will handle it, and if you need to leave the group, do so, but do not dwell on the unknowns of his mind, as we can never know what goes on in a strangers head, and unless you have known him for years, then he and his wife are strangers with there own motives.

I think because you didn't accept his help, or assistance, he gave it to another. Why is this a big deal to you?

I wouldn't be to carried away by this, just focus on the reason you are there, and leave the personal stuff alone.