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david9880 · Dec 31, 2010, 11:59 AM

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years almost. We have been off and on. But we have been staying strong recently. She had got hired at a new job where this lesbian works. They became friends and went out for drinks one night. She comes home telling me she's cool and she has a crush on her. She said when there together she doesn't feel like it's a female but a guy. So later on that night she sent her a picture of her in her underwear. So we talked and I told her how it bothered me and I didn't feel comfortable with them hanging out, outside of work. They could be friends. So I let it go 2 weeks later which would have been last night we broke up and she went out with girls from work. I get a call this morning and we talked and I asked if she did anything with her and she said they made out a couple times.

Now I think more might of happened. Now she says she's not bi or a lesbian she just thinks she's really sweet and nice. I don't know what to think. Should I be mad. What is going on here.

I just don't want to get back together and have her in the picture because I'm going to feel uncomfortable. And there will be no trust.

Is this a normal relationship. Does she want me or her. Or both I don't understand.

adthern · Dec 31, 2010, 12:05 PM

Obviously she has an interest/curiostiy with this woman. If that isn't something you can handle within your relationship, then you should tell her that.

Being in a relationship "on and off" isn't the same as being in a 2 year relationship. Its more like being in 12-2 month relationships. Something isn't working for you both, give her some time to figure out who she is.

"Is it normal"... what is normal?

Whatever works for the people in a relationship is what is normal (for them) and that's all that matters.

Jake2008 · Dec 31, 2010, 12:13 PM

What difference does it make whether the 'other person' is a lesbian or a man?

She hangs out with this other person, has made out a few times, has admitted she has a crush on her, sends her pictures of herself in her underwear.

She's having a relationship with another person. It makes no difference that that person is gay. Nor does it matter what your girlfriend calls herself- straight, bi, lesbian, whatever. She's pursuing a relationship with someone else.

If it were a man she was after, would you be so tolerant? Why would you accept your girlfriend's behaviour, regardless of who it is with, or what their sexual orientation is.

I can only tell you that because you don't indicate that she is willing to give up this other person, nor is she willing to fully be in a committed relationship with only you, the relationship has a third person in it, and most likely it won't work out.

talaniman · Dec 31, 2010, 05:01 PM

What if your girlfriend of 2 years suddenly started to have feelings for a female?

That would probably be the end of this on/off relationship. Not really because of her interest with a female, but how many times do you turn a relationship off before you figure it ain't going to work, and you are wasting time. Make up sex is over rated.