Three Year Relationship - One Month After Breakup
I'm a 27 year old male that just got out of a serious 3-year relationship. I was living with my ex-girlfriend for 3 years before our recent breakup last month, and we spent almost every day together.
We loved each other from the beginning to almost the end of our relationship. She had just graduated from college with her bachelors degree 2011, and I received my associates in 2008 prior to the beginning of our relationship.
We first met in 2007 at my work, while I was a sales associate. She was a customer looking for a canoe/kayak that she decided to purchase. I took her information down on a simple sheet of paper to transfer it later due to the busy traffic.
A year and half passed, and I meet her again, for what we thought was the first time, in an old bar were she was taking a line dancing class. I had just finished a days work and was highly attracted to her.
I approached her and spoke with her for a couple minutes but didn't want to take up too much of her time. She had to leave shortly after and her roommate insisted she give me her phone number.
The next day or day after we began to communicate and gradualy learned more about one another. She found me just as interesting as I found her. A couple months had passed and she asked that I move into an apartment with her. I couldn't resist. I had no experience living with a girlfriend before, so this was all new to me. I was living with family at the time, and I was getting used to seizure medication. I had petite mal seizures but the medication completely stopped them.
While I began to pack everything, I found the original number that she had provided me with at the bottom of my desk drawer with old change and coins. I thought it looked familiar with the date, name and number listed. Then I realized it was hers.
I felt shocked at first, but then I told her about it and she was surprised. It was an unbelievable feeling; moving in with a beautiful woman who I had just built a three month relationship with (I know not long), who I had spoken to a year and half ago. I felt that young "ment to be" feeling, that I will never forget.
Well, a couple years went buy, and we had a few strugles, but we always seemed to get along well. I pursued a job interview in a different state that she wanted me to get, and was willing to move with me; however, I never ended up getting the job due to my lack of experience in the field.
A year later she purchased her first condo. I didn't totally agree with it because I didn't feel comfortable with the location, but I was willing to stand by her and accept it for her. I'm a real estate appraiser, and I thought there were better long term options available, but she was wanting to take advantage of the first time home buyer program, to pay off school and complete her degree, which she did this year, 2011.
I ended up working back at my original job as a trainee appraiser and she started a new job in her field after graduating. Although, there was one previous small break up just this last March that lasted less than 24 hours, which I believe was due to her stress from school and my lack of work at that time, everything was going great.
We had a great summer together, adopting a young dog from the pound and refinishing portions of the condo. We even had a great sex life, and we both enjoyed being around each others friends and family. I will admit I had a few petite mal seizures throughout our relationship that were handled through my doctor and medication, but there were still others that slipped through the cracks.
I decided to get back into college to achieve a bachelors degree and put my original pursuit of appraisal practice on hold. I was going to school full time, which I had only accomlished once at a junior college, and my girlfriend was enjoying her new job.
School was never first on my list, and I didn't really need the degree; However, I thought it would be great to get out of the way. My stress levels started to go through the roof with school, while I was refinishing the flooring in the condo at the same time.
About half way through the semester I had a bad car accident while driving by myself, and I totalled my car. I believe it was due to a seizure, which I explained to the insurance company and my doctor. My girlfriend and I unfortunately started to gradualy separate after this point.
She has always felt scared in tramatic situations, and I assume her stress level was high when she realized my accident was due to a seizure. It is one of the most frustrating things I have ever had to deal with my entire life, because I feel that this relationship developed into something so great up until this point 3 years later.
Just through writing this description, I feel I have answered some of my own questions, but it would really help to know if I will possibly have another opportunity to share my life with this beautiful companion. I'm hoping that time will tell.
We broke up about a month ago. Its christmas today, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I could tell she was in pain when we decided to separate, but it was mainly in her interest. She packed all of my items and asked me to stay with family. She also told me the two sexual relationships she had with her good friend prior to us starting our relationship. She had spent time with him while we were together but swore she never did anything during that time.
I've seen the doctor since, finished school, and have had no other seizures after increasing my medication. I became drunk for the first time in months with a family member, and I called her at 1:30 in the am but never left her a message. I then apolagized to her the next day through a text, but I never received a response.
Conclusion:
The beginning of the relationship was great before I started depending more on her with a place to live while in school, and after my accident. I trust that she didn't cheat on me with her friend during our relationship because I don't believe she's that type. I feel that we created a good foundation for a possible future relationship; however, I don't know if my prior seizures will hold us apart, and I don't know if she has possibly began a new relationship. I'd like to know if I will have any kind of relationship with her ever again. I've never had a 3 year relationship, nor have I had one end completely in one week. And, I worry that she feels I'm codependant.
Please provide any comments. Sorry about the spelling.