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Alyssia · Jun 3, 2007, 12:08 AM

My boy friend left me just sent me a mobile message without any face to face words. I can't control myself to stop thinking of him and thinking about how to get him back since last week. We were together more than 8 years and indeed met many many difficult things. I think he may has less confidence to keep our relationship to get marriege with me and fall in love another girl who is his ex girl friend before he met me above 10 years ago. I know it's not easy for him to say goodbye to me but his action was so bad that didn't reply any message to me and answern my phone anymore. Felt so hurted, caused it happened so suddent without any preparation.

I admit that our relationship was in cold situation, but I realize now I still love in him so so much. Anyone can share ideas with me what do I do to get him back.

My boy friend and I are Shanghainess, were born in Shanghai, China. The third party girl is also Shanghainess but move to LV, USA when she was 16 years older. She failed to get marriage with two men in USA before 30 years older. Currently, she has own women bueaty business between Shanghai and LV. My boyfriend also owns a promotional gift company in Shanghai. It looks they have same career objective and life target.

I feel so sad and moody. I desire to get him back but I know it need skill, strategy and timing. Please help me, appreciate anyone share the ideas in advance. Thanks,

JoeCanada76 · Jun 3, 2007, 01:21 AM

You may desire him back, but it is not your decision.

If you play games, try to get him back by tricking him or pulling him into your direction it will only back fire.

My advice is it is time you learn that it is over. That it is time to let go and see where life takes you with you being single for a while.

What is the reasoning for the break up do you think?

Joe

chuff · Jun 3, 2007, 07:16 AM

If that girl moved to Las Vegas to find a person to married she picked the absolute worst city in not only the US but in all of North America to find a husband. My question to you would be why would he go back to her after all these years and after she admits to moving to another country to find a husband thus leaving him all those years ago. This doesn't sound like a well thought out decision. That seems to be a theme between both of them. After 8 years if this is truly how he feels you are probably better to deal with the loss now then suffer a lifetime with a guy that doesn't want to be with you.

Alyssia · Jun 3, 2007, 10:33 AM

Both of my boy friend and I are not mature enough during the 8years. When the periord I really want to get married with him, he did not want. Now, he want to marry but I don't want. Moreover, there are too many stroies happened over these years between us. It can't be told one by one here. All the things happened are related Chinese traditional culture and we don't know how to make decision by ourselves. We are very common young people who live under the social and families umbrella, having pressure without clear life image what indeed we pursue.

In addition, we do not have finicial foundation to settle down our life although he runs his own business and I have my own job. In Shanghai, most the young couple buy new apartment and spend lots of money on wedding and honeymoon. The biggest issue is regarding new apartment purchase, he want to buy an apartment in the centre of Shanghai city where costs very high. Although we have not too much money, he still does not agree to consider any other suburb eara. Anyway, it's a problem comes out for many years. And then, the real estate of Shanghai goes up up and up.

From my side, I never think that my boyfriend may leave me like this. He is such a nice guy although he has shortcoming in making decision. We trust each other very much. He never talk with other girl too much except business.

That's why I can't accept the truth. The third party girl is just a girl who he liked when they were very young. They had no too many chance to be together before she move to USA. Actually, she is not his really ex girl friend cause they never started.

Furthermore, I heard lots of the girl's stories from my boyfriend last year and early this year. We even met sereral times and went out to have dinner together. How I can imagine they are getting together. I trust him very much because he never lies to me.

I know we are in freezen situation if we can't solve the problem with our new apartment recently. But I didn't realize that his emotion is changing a lot. He didn't communicate with me on his concern. That girl just arrived in Shanghai around May 8th.

I felt so hurted with such sudden change. Can't imagine he is being with another girl. Can't talk with him. Don't know where he is, what thing he is doing. Totally seems I lost a thing of mine.

talaniman · Jun 3, 2007, 04:02 PM

I felt so hurted with such sudden change. Can't imagine he is being with another girl. Can't talk with him. Don't know where he is, what thing he is doing. Totally seems I lost a thing of mine.

Poor thing you are lost as 8 years is a lot of time with some one, and the adjustments to make all of a sudden are staggering. I doubt if many here can appreciate such a deep and profound loss. I can only hope his loss is as deep.

Alyssia · Jun 3, 2007, 08:34 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Poor thing you are lost as 8 years is a lot of time with some one, and the adjustments to make all of a sudden are staggering. I doubt if many here can appreciate such a deep and profound loss. I can only hope his loss is as deep.

Thanks, Talaniman. You are understanding my feeling. It's so terrible that my boyfriend blocked my msn and didn't reply any e-mails/blog I wrote. I even doubt is he my boyfriend? What wrong with him. He used not to like this.