[XPurple-Starx]

Hello, I really need some advice about something that is really truly bothering me. Sorry it's going to be quite long.

Here goes...

Me and my boyfriend of 5 years have had a lot of ups and downs but recently we are getting on fine he makes me happy but there's just one thing that's really bothering me.

He doesn't seem to want to sleep with me anymore, he doesn't even seem to get hard when he's around me like he used to. We have sex less than once a month if that! In fact I can't even remember what sex feels like anymore!

I'm always the one who tries to make him be in the mood but for some reason nothing happens and he sort of pushes me away and that feeling of rejection is not only depressing it's very embarrassing I feel like I look desperate.

I have done all sorts to impress him, like wearing sexy bras and knickers, having my hair done, I've even lost a stone and I'm the thinnest I've been since meeting him! He doesn't even compliment me unless I ask how I'm looking.

We went through this before and he decided to do something called the no fap challenge where you have to quit porn and resist masterbating for as long as possible because apparently it helps with erectile dysfunction.
I started to notice a change and we had sex more regularly but it's gone back down hill now
I can't even explain how upset this is making me feel, not to mention I am sexualy frustrated!

We also went through a phase where he didn't even cuddle or kiss me either for months on end but it's different now he's all for cuddles but when I try and go for a snog he'll move his head away, what is going on :(

What do I need to do to get our sex life back I'm getting really down about it and not to mention dam right peed off cause ge doesn't even make the effort to even try.

What's wrong with me am I just not attractive to him anymore?

[talaniman]

If after 5 years you have not learned how to express your feelings, and concerns honestly to each other, and work together to resolve whatever issues you have then that's a bigger problem than the frequency of sex isn't it?

Do you both work? Have kids? Are there pressing problems with schedules, finances, or social lives? What has changed lately in your lives, or routines? Any big disagreements, or reasons he could be harboring resentments toward you?

There are many factors in other areas of your relationship to consider in this you know. Even his feelings about his own dysfunction have to be on the table,so how old are you both?

[XPurple-Starx]

My boyfriend works, I don't but I am constantly looking for work, I have had lots of temporary job can't seem to get a permanent one! I'm 24 and he's 29, I have spoke to him about it and the only answer he gives me is that it's not me it's him, but he doesn't seem to open up much, which I wish he did, and I'm not saying sex is the most important thing but I want to feel loved and appreciated every once in a while and no none of us have any children and we both don't want them either lol I'm wondering if it's because I don't work that's causing the problem between us and I'm always going on about being out of work but it's not like I'm not trying :/ maybe I'm annoying him :( I have got a lot of issues going on at the moment

[talaniman]

Like what? Care to share?

I have been married 40 years, and can tell you we go through extended cycles of like, love, restlessness, conflict, happiness, attraction and being PO'd at each other and all kinds of different situations.

Backing off is as important as talking and listening, and we all have frustrating issues and sometimes tolerating our partners existence is the best we got. Often though, even after 5 years partners/couple are still just learning about themselves and each other. Humans are ever changing and growing and adjustments are difficult at times.

After 40 years we are still learning, and adjusting to ever changing circumstances and situations. Challenging to say the least. Yes that does include bedroom issues. Even the occasional failure to communicate.

[XPurple-Starx]

Thank you, I do believe that something has been bothering him recently but I'm not sure how to get him to open up to me, I'd like to be there for him to support him but he just acts tough like a lot of men lol