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amyrose · Feb 3, 2011, 01:00 PM

Lately my partner of 3 years won't sleep with me its been about 6 week now and he hasn't come near me we use to do it all the time so I can't understand why he's like this I've tried it on with him and he just knocks me back every time I've asked him what's wrong and he just says he doesn't feel like it and he doesn't know why! We have a 1 yr old son together and up until now he as always wanted it with me I just don't know what to do anymore its really upsetting me because I just want the closeness back

answerme_tender · Feb 3, 2011, 01:21 PM

Amy,

If there is any medical reason that he may have that would cause him to back away from relations with you? It could even be stress at work.

If its none of those things, then you need open your eyes and take a look around. How is he acting besides being intimate? Is he texting a lot or on phone. Is he on computer a lot more. Is he only happy talking about being around certain friends or certain person at work?

I think best way to approach this is to sit down with him and calmly have a conversation asking him about why he doesn't want relations. Don't come off accusing, or angry---just ask him like you would ask one of your friends if there is a problem. Also remember to listen to his answer as calmly as a friend would.

Take care

tickle · Feb 3, 2011, 01:26 PM

Hi answerme, said I had to spread rep around, but I agree on with everything you stated here.

Tick

talaniman · Feb 3, 2011, 01:31 PM

How old are you both, and have there been any major changes in your lives in the last 2 months.

Could he be jealous, or depressed about the attention he has to share with his new baby?

Could he be stressed by trying to provide for his family?

How are your finances?

Do you spend quality time as a couple, without your child?

amyrose · Feb 3, 2011, 02:00 PM

Hi thank you for replying no he isn't on his phone or computer any more than he usually is. He doesn't work I do he stays at home with our son while I go to work he's just acting different lately and we argue everyday

Hi I'm 25 and he's 27 and no changes at all have happened in the past 2 months

answerme_tender · Feb 3, 2011, 02:09 PM

Maybe its time for him to work outside of the home. That might be something to bring up when you sit down and talk to him. If he is staying home and not getting out, then just like us woman, he maybe going a little nuts just having baby all day with no adult conversation!! Hey, I am sure you have heard were the woman stays home with the children and when the man get homes he doesn't give her quality attention and she starts to resent that and holds back on having relations. Maybe and I am just saying maybe he is going through samething!

Again just sit down and talk to him, and really give him your undividend attention, see if someone can watch the baby while you guys have this talk. If he won't open up or just gets angry, then listen I would be wondering what the heck is going on and then I would be having a different kind of conversation!!

First start here, it doesn't go well and keeps acting put out, then you can go from there!

Trueblu · Feb 3, 2011, 09:06 PM

He is exactly what tender suggested he is facing a crisis. And he is resentful for being home and not the provider. Men by nature are providers and protectors of the home. We don't say it but we don't like to be overshadowed by a women and especailly if our friends see it and say things about it. He is not happy and you are just the closest recipent of his inner turmoil. Sex is no fun when you feel inadequate inside. He may want to handle it himself. So when you do talk make sure you suggest going out and doing something fun. And let him know you miss the intimacy not that you need it. Men are maco and performance junkees if we can do it well we don't want to do it at all. Time will heal. Be nice and listen to him. He is telling you what is wrong every time he opens his mouth.