[Daniel_02]

Me and her both are college students, we met during the 1st semester in school, started chatting.. Started to like each other and got together very naturally. Since then, we have been inseparable, we live together, choose the same classes, go on trips, even come back to the same country to visit our family.. We practically did everything together, but we were so happy, I know it and I feel it..

Just like that we have been together for 2 years 1 month , Now we are both overseas to visit our family, everything was going so great and suddenly about a week ago she starts to act unlike her usual self.. I knew something was going on, but I could not pinpoint the exact problem. I initially thought that it was because she was really troubled with all the uncertainties of our future (this is the last semester for the both of us) and that everything just suddenly hit her (our graduation, pursuing career, where we will work etc) and she is overwhelmed by it, therefore she sees no other solution.. But to end it.. She told me that it has crossed her minds before, but when I try to talk about it she always avoids it and does not want to think about it in the past..

I thought long and hard, and turns out that she is actually very pressurized by me.. As she feels that I make my life decisions around her, and that my whole life revolves around her.. I suddenly realize that she tried to tell me before (about a week ago) that she suddenly has this realization, not directly but through our conversation, and also through some of her actions (we were much less intimate than usual).

I mean.. We live together, do practically everything together in a foreign country.. I think I made her feel that way because I want to show her how important she is to me, and how important this relationship is to me. For example, I would cancel appointments with friends because she wants to go out because I did not want to make her upset...

A week ago, we went out, grabbed lunch, watched a movie... When it was time to head home, I offered to see her home, normally she would be very happy about it but this time she was actually hesitant... I started to really worry and insisted to see her home.. Before that, I was actually headed in the wrong direction in the subway (it was actually the right platform for me but we haven't said goodbye yet) but she called out to me, it felt like she felt like I was walking away from her (symbolically), that means something right..

So I could not take it, and tried to talk to her, try to understand what the problem is.. And we end up taking a break.. It has been a week.. I send her a message or two everyday and try to call her (but she won't answer) to show her that I still really care about her. Our last longer conversation.. She started to say some really scary stuff.. But she told me that she read my blog (I still keep one for memory's sake) and I actually entered 2 new entries about this current situation with us... The last time I showed her my blog was 2 years ago, days after we just got together because I wrote something for her. This time, she visited my blog again (not expecting the 2 new entries) and texted me "Just give me some time", "Im touched", "But it doesn't solve the problems", "Its not like I forgot, I remember everything, every bit, from the beginning"..

I really do not want to lose her, she is the best thing that ever happened to me and I know this, I am not that young anymore (I am 23), I am hoping to get some advice how I can make this work? We are very happy together.. I know we are..

[talaniman]

YOU are, she is not. The reasons don't matter, but back off and let her breath on her own for a while and stop trying to convince, and influence her everyday.

Stop altogether and see if she misses you enough to want to try this again.

Meanwhile, do your own thing and enjoy it.

[SimpleD]

It sounds like she is kind of checked out. There's nothing worse in the world than forcing someone else to love you. Just give her some time, like she asked, lay off the texts and calls. Perhaps she'll realize that she isn't happy without you in her life and she will come back on her own. But if she doesn't, then its just not meant to be. :(
I've been in this situation before... it sucks.