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joey301 · Oct 26, 2008, 07:34 AM

Hello,

So I am 19, and she is 18, and have just started having sex. She was a virgin, but said it didn't hurt the first time (like it can very often). So far we've only had sex twice, but she tells me that she feels nothing (other then the presence). So pleasure or pain or anything like that.

I understand that it could be because of being nervous or being pushed into it, but I've talked to her about that and she is VERY certain that she was not nervous (at least the second time), and that she is/was ready to have sex (I was also very sure that she was before we did it).

When it comes to masturbation or me fingering her (clitoral or vaginal), there is no problem in the feeling and sensation department. It is only with intercourse that she doesn't feel anything.

I was hoping we could get some answers in this matter.

Thanks,

Joey301

TexasParent · Oct 26, 2008, 06:23 PM

I could go into a long discussion on this but I won't, the fact is some women do not get any pleasure from penetration in the missionary position.

Change the position, some women need clitoral stimulation while having intercourse. To achieve this one position is for her to be on top of you, this way she can rub/bang her vulva/clitoris against your pubic bone while she has intercourse with you.

I know it's difficult on your ego, but it's not your fault and you aren't a bad lover; some women are built different than others.

joey301 · Oct 26, 2008, 06:38 PM

We have tried a couple different positions, including her being on top.

I never said it was bad on my ego, or that I thought I was a bad lover. I understand that it could just take practice. I do think that she should feel at least something regardless though, even if we are still learning each other, but I suppose I could be wrong on that.

Seems to be that practice and learning are the most popular answers to this.

linnealand · Oct 26, 2008, 07:01 PM

Practice and learning are the best answers to this inquiry.

Interestingly enough, I just answered this question in the teen section from the girl's perspective. Hold on... are you her boyfriend? Ages and stories seem to match up. This is really cute. If she is your girlfriend, do each of you know that you're writing about the other one? Really, really cute.

This is the post I was talking about: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ex-273708.html

The sex will get better, including for her, as you keep going at it. You can find my other response to her in the thread posted above.

joey301 · Oct 26, 2008, 07:08 PM

Yes we do lol. I told her to make a post, since it seemed more appropriate as she is more informed on how she feels, but she didn't want to cause she was shy I guess.

So I made a post, and I guess at the same time I was writing she changed her mind. >_<

But yeah I figure we will keep trying and see how it progresses.

linnealand · Oct 26, 2008, 07:18 PM

Sounds like a great plan. :)

Lol, that was really, really sweet. The fact that both of you are on board means that you're going to have a much better chance at all of it getting much better faster.

Keep communicating, including during sex. You're in this together, so there's no reason for anyone to feel embarrassed.

In time, you'll see why everyone keeps talking about how good it is. :) best of luck to both of you.

TexasParent · Oct 26, 2008, 07:32 PM

Originally Posted by joey301

We have tried a couple different positions, including her being on top.

I never said it was bad on my ego, or that I thought I was a bad lover. I understand that it could just take practice. I do think that she should feel at least something regardless though, even if we are still learning each other, but I suppose I could be wrong on that.

Seems to be that practice and learning are the most popular answers to this.

If she is able to feel pleasure clitorially, then perhaps it's just working the technique a bit more when she is on top. From my experience the girl stays down and works you back and forth and around and around for her to get her going. Then some up and down and a mixture of back and forth, etc. repeat and you should be all good.

Another poster said to communicate before during and after, now that's great advice.

smoothy · Oct 27, 2008, 10:06 AM

As has been well spelled out. Its all about technique. There is a lot more to satisfying a woman, than insert, withdraw, repeat. That's fine for making babies but women are far more complex than that.

Is there any one thing that works? No. Women are all different and you have to know her well enough and listen to her. There is no easy way out here. Pay attention to her, and in time you will know what it takes to make her happy.