[BrokenDreamer]

I have been in a relationship, on and off, with my boyfriend for four years now, around a about. And what strikes me the most is that even though we fight a lot, we always end up coming back together. I hate that and I can't seem to get rid of us, not that I want to. We fight for the same reasons mostly, which is usually along the lines of him not calling (at all!) to him barely even talking. I've noticed that when he's with his friends, he's wayy more talkative then he is with me and that irks me. You would think that being in a relationship with somebody would mean you talk to them. I seem to tell him almost everything. Nothing that goes on in my life is a secret of him.
I am sick and tired of the same destructive loop because I always come out as the most damaged one. At this point, I don't know whether I should even be in this relationship, but I'm scared. Scared of ending up all alone and never finding anyone who will love me like that.
Help!

[Alty]

You said that you two fight a lot. What do you fight about?

It sounds to me that he doesn't open up as much because he's likely afraid that it will start another fight. Some girls take everything the wrong way, and get upset about every little thing. For the guy it's easier to just be quiet to avoid saying something that will start yet another fight.

If you're only with him because you don't want to be alone, then you're with him for the wrong reasons.

If all you two do is fight, then it's probably best to end things now and move on.

[BrokenDreamer]

We have our moments, where we will be all nice and loving, but then there are times when we fight because he will end up getting mad for the smallest things. Half the time passes by with us fighting. We have fought because we went to a theme park and I ended up going on more than half the rides alone because he was convinced that the ride was going to break and fall off. Small stuff like that, about him forgetting that I even exist. He forgets to call. It's a rarity if he calls me because more than half the time, I'M the one that ends up calling him and I hate it because why should I be the one making all the efforts. I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated and I'm venting ='/

[fallintoautumn]

I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but it sounds like there's a bit of a communication problem in your relationship. Have you ever tried NOT calling him and seeing if he'll call you first? Wait and see if he'll make the effort, at his own pace, and then maybe you'll feel like you're putting equal effort into the relationship.

Also, have you ever spoken to him about calling you more without fighting about it? Having a calm conversation with him about what's bothering you might get the message across better. Asking him more questions can help improve communication between you two, as well.

By the way, don't worry about being alone. Fear of being single is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. And I'm sure plenty of guys would want to be with you.

Good luck! :)

[BrokenDreamer]

Thanks :) I'm just going to see where the next few days take us, but if I'm right, then it's time to move on and heal =)

[BK201]

There might be problems at both the sides. Fighting for small things half of the time means that neither of the party seems to give in, but rather stick to each of your own stand. It is hard to find someone who loves you so much, and its rather harder to keep the relationship going. I bet you are going to wait and see how things go on for a few days, right? Have you tried to see things from his point of view when he fights, even if it a small silly reason? You might give it a try, and give in if he gets mad for silly things. About him not calling you, and not talking to you properly may be he is tired of the fights too, and just want to keep quiet to avoid such fights. He might be doing so because he loves you. How about both of you taking your time and talk over this with calm and clear head. You know him more than anyone, so, no blame games at each other. Tell him that you are positive that you want this relation to work out and you are tired of fighting and not calling. Donot say that the fighting is all because of him.
Even after all these efforts and he is still the same, you can take it as a sign to move on

[talaniman]

Maybe you are not that compatible, but a few things stand out. You're a talker, he is not, knowing that why try to make him one? Conflicts abound, trying to change someone. It also distracts you from being able to read his way of communicating, and no doubt, you had to push hard to get him to take you to an amusement park where he has fear of the rides. I doubt it was his idea, or he did it to please you.

Lack of being able to communicate will eventually end this off and on relationship.