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djskids91 · Oct 28, 2010, 03:18 AM

I've been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now, and have been in an LDR for 2years this is the 2nd year running. Recently she said we should go on a break because it is college life, and she says we should not look back in the future and regret our life. She truly loves me and says she wants to marry me and that I should never ever leave her.. I too don't want that and was a bit reluctant on taking a break.. is this something I should be worried about? What normally happens during a break? I can't live without her she is my love! I'm currently in UK and her in the states.. so we hardly meet only in summer maybe but yeah. What can I do now? I just can't have the thought of her with another guy?

Edited for understanding

hotkey26 · Oct 28, 2010, 05:08 AM

Well most breaks the women give up and date someone else, but if she loves you as much as you say she does I would not worry about it but don't go screwing things up just chill through it

ironhide262 · Oct 28, 2010, 05:21 AM

Having been in an LDR and the recent breakup all I can say is LDR's are extremely tough( actually I am not sure if I will every do one again).
That said the concept of a "break" in an regular relationship never mind and LDR is ambigious at best. Therefore, I would suggest that you deal with this as a breakup!
All the mixed signals she is giving you also scream that out... she "wants to marry me" but she wants a "break". If your relationship is so great then why the break?
This is typical posturing by a girl who is either a little confused about what she wants or is simply trying to let you down easy. Sounds like to me she just wants to have some fun and enjoy college.
If you want, have one last talk with her for some clarity but sounds like to me it's breakup time! Let her go if that is what she wants. Go NC and don't do the friendship thing it will tear your heart out in the end. Erase/block her from any social websites you 2 were communicating in or you will suffer. She may hate you for this but, it`s not her choice anymore... she wants out and you need to move on.
Not to stir the pot but, how do you know that there isn`t already another guy in the picture?

You made it 2 yrs this LDR which is way more than I did and my ex and I seen each other every 1-2 months. Focus on yourself now, enjoy your time in college. I'm sure( I hope) you have some amazing plans, goals in life. Don't wait on this girl... she is not waiting for you.

talaniman · Oct 28, 2010, 08:32 AM

She wants to enjoy her freedom, and have a grand time while she explores her options. What you have to realize is that you are not her biggest priority any more, nor should she be yours, because things have changed, and probably have for a long time but now its official. You are broken up, and the promise of marriage later is more BS, subject to change later.

Sorry buddy, but you are on your own, and that's a typical problem with LDR's. They are extremely hard to maintain with all the possibilities, and distractions in the world, and you are not there. Hard to build anything for the future when a couple is apart, and have separate lives they want to live, and goals they want to pursue.

answerme_tender · Oct 28, 2010, 08:56 AM

You have been given some great advice from the other post. She wants to cut the ties to enjoy other options while in college. Everyone deserves time and space to achieve their education.

Now pertaining to the part were she says that she still loves you, wants to marry you in the future. That is nothing more then her keeping you on the hook so she has someone in the Summer time. You need to get out with friends, and start meeting new people. Set your own goals and start planning on how your going to achieve those.

I wish · Oct 28, 2010, 09:56 AM

She told you what she wants. It's up to you to decide how you want to react to it. The ball is on your side of the court.

If she can't give you what you want, then maybe it's better that you go your separate ways, as painful as it might sound.

The distance might not always be the problem either. She wants to explore her options, that can easily happen even if you lived in the same city.

djskids91 · Oct 28, 2010, 12:27 PM

Thanks for all the advice guys really helpful but the one thing I sond t understand I mean we both can't live without each other we are just too close together you know.. what if she wasn't sure about this.. she was teling me that when she goes clubbing she can't like dance with a guy or talk to a guy normally cause she has me stuck in her mind.. I'm just feeling so messed up right now! I eamn I don't want to lose this girl..

I wish · Oct 28, 2010, 12:52 PM

She sounds very curious about other possibilities. How do we satisfy our curiousity? By finding out.

On the other hand, the fact that she's curious of what's out there can also mean that she has some doubts about the relationship. If she didn't have any doubts, she wouldn't be curious about what's out there.

She has the option of trying to work out her doubts with you or she can leave you to go find her answers. Right now, she's keeping you in limbo. She wants a break from you so that she can go explore. If she doesn't find something better, she can come back to you.

Do you really want to be her safety net/backup plan?