[budniang1988]

I have a lot of things on my mind. I have tried asking my family and friends, but they just repeat everything every time. I need other peoples advice. My ex-boyfriend broke up with me on Thanksgiving of 2009. And when I say on Thanksgiving, I mean that night ON Thanksgiving. He never explained why and won't explain why. I have asked and asked but won't give me a straight answer. He now has a new girlfriend. And I know her, and she is younger and stupider then me, (of course that is my opinon of her.) I have been told by some people that he cheated on me the last two months of our relationship. But for some reason I can't believe that he did. Plus, even if he did or didn't cheat on me, it wouldn't matter cause I found out after we broke up. So, its not like I can beat his for it. But the thing is, I can't get him out of my head. I can't get him out of my dreams. I keep catching myself thinking of him, and in April 2010 it would have been two years, which for me is the longest relationship I have ever had in my life. None of my family or friends understand what I'm feeling/going through. I honestly just want him back into my life. Someone please give me some advice. And please none of that fight for him crap or anything. I can't get him back and that is that. I really just want to move on and I just can't. HELP!!

[positiveparent]

If you really want to get him out of your mind and life then you will have to go No Contact, details are on this forum under the stickies at top of the list of questions.

No matter how or when it ended , it ended, and you can torture yourself for the rest of your life wondering what went wrong, and why it ended, but bottom line is you're not ever going to know that.

It ended and why it ended isn't an issue really its over, you cannot get back something that's gone.

You can though move on with your life, and work on yourself, to make yourself the best person you can be for you, and no one else.

One day you'll meet the one who is right for you, and you'll forget all about this episode in your life, we have all been where you are at some time or another, and no doubt we all felt how you feel, but we moved on and have got on with living our lives, time doesn't stand still for a broken heart no matter how much it hurts you.

What you need to do is move on one day at a time, and before you know what hit you you'll be over this, and you'll find life is still a great thing to be part of.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel.

You'll get there too, it just takes time.

As you move on this will get easier slowly but surely.

Going NC is the most sensible thing to do though, it will help you heal...

[talaniman]

Kind of obvious why he broke up with you, he was cheating, so he had to be lying also.

What a lousy type of fellow you have fallen for and I think when you accept him as being beneath what you deserve you will stop seeing the good, and cope with the rejection and betrayal, as being the best thing that could have happened to you.

The rest is about rebuilding a life that you enjoy, with people and activities that make you happy. And doing your thing and making new, and great memories and thoughts that replace the sour old ones.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum to get some excellent ideas of how to cope and heal, and move beyond this chapter of your life.

[Kitkat22]

You do not need a man like this in your life. Go out with friends. Go to Church. Don't sit around regretting the past. You can't change it, but you can learn from the mistakes... Good Luck

[positiveparent]

Have to spread the rep...

That's very true as above poster has said you dont need a man in your life no one should ever "need" another person to validate them, you can survive without a man any woman and for that matter so can any man survive without a woman.

I learned a long time ago I am the only person in my life who I can rely on, if I have others in my life who I can also rely on that's a bonus but when it comes to the nitty gritty we only have ourselves, and that's it.

Never think in terms of need, want yes that's a different thing altogether, but need no, you never need.

By saying you need its giving away your power.

As the saying goes,
A Woman needs a Man like a fish needs a bicycle...

[liz28]

In order for you to move on you need to let go. Stop killing yourself wondering about why he no longer wanted to be with you because only he knows. He have a new girlfriend and you shouldn't even worry about why he is with her.

While your staying stuck on him your just be allowing yourself the chance to meet someone else. And I am sure your family and friends knows what your going through but they probulary think (and maybe told you) you should be over by now and may be tired of you wondering asking why this why that.

You need to get him out your system and you need to stop focusing on him. Focus on yourself and in the meantime get rid of anything that reminds you of him(pictures, cards, etc). It is a new day and what don't kill you only makes you stronger. It is time to start a new chapter of your life.

[Kitkat22]

In order for you to move on you need to let go. Stop killing yourself wondering about why he no longer wanted to be with you because only he knows. He have a new girlfriend and you shouldn't even worry about why he is with her.

While your staying stuck on him your just be allowing yourself the chance to meet someone else. And I am sure your family and friends knows what your going through but they probulary think (and maybe told you) you should be over by now and may be tired of you wondering asking why this why that.

You need to get him out your system and you need to stop focusing on him. Focus on yourself and in the meantime get rid of anything that reminds you of him(pictures, cards, etc). It is a new day and what don't kill you only makes you stronger. It is time to start a new chapter of your life.

Very true .