[wallawalla]

It has been 1.5 months since I broke up. She cheated and left me for someone else. Unfortunately I broke up the NC twice in the first 15 days when she contacted me and I agreed to see her on the first case and answer her calls in the second. VERY BAD IDEA!. Today 11th August is the 30th day with NC. She has called me twice in the past two weeks but I have left her calls unanswered. I feel there is nothing for us to say and that she has no right to know how Im doing. It is hard not answering it but I know its whats best for me right now and that feels good. It feels good knowing that you are not as weak as you thought you were although some days are still really bad and you wonder whether that will get better with time. My only fear is whether I will be fully recovered by the day I will bump into her again because that will definitely happen at some point, see we come from the same environment and have common close friends but we both live abroad. She is back home for summer now and I decided to stay abroad and deal with things with where they happened. I hope im doing the right thing.

Why did she contact you? Did she wanted to make amends? Or did she wanted to stay friends with you?

[wallawalla]

When a relationship ends we all need to achieve is the Ol' magic NC (No contact) - for consecutive days in a row. And here's a place to put your number up!

SO, where are you in the count?


Share your number:


1? 21? 61? 101? or best of all:A GOOD NEW RELATIONSHIP
(the goal of all this soul cleansing silence). Note: If you've called, texted, emailed, or visited though it..uhhh.....resets to zero :rolleyes:
We are all rooting for you - even if you have to restart again!

STARTING OVER IS NORMAL AND 100% OK!!! IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY.

This is my 39th day. Why do I feel so down again? I want to call him so bad. I am missing him again. That keep in touch phrase is just killing me. What should I do?

[Ash123]

If a person wants to talk to you - there's nothing stopping them.


Sooooooo, relax and stay on course -

[husky04]

I know this thread hasn't been posted on in like 5 months, but I figured I would bring it back and say that I'm jumping back on NC.

I am on day 1.. Day 2 tomorrow, which is the ex`s birthday.

[a la king]

Not sure the exact number of days over all. Basically since I left.. Over 100 maybe 120?

Although, there were 2 quick texts before xmas. One for some mail I had and the other for xmas wishes. But both were only once back and forth- so I don't count that really.

[411Help]

Day 4 when the clock strikes 12 :D.

[debdoes]

One... great... I "mistakenly" sent a text last night.

[Paininside1234]

Day 115

[kctiger]

I quit counting. Every time I count I end up screwing it up. It has been awhile. I am getting better by the minute!

[eva_gr]

1 and a hald month...

Ps:counts the fact that he sent me a sms for good luck in my exams etc and I just answered "thank u,take care"?

[Romefalls19]

After going 5 months, my ex and I usually talk about once every 2 weeks. Every time it is initiated by her, something about our past and I quickly change the conversation. Last text though was crossing the line. I'll explain...

She sent me a text saying nothing else but "Was that ring meant for my finger?"

As most of you long time forum goingers know, I am engaged to my S/O, the relatonships after my last one. This crossed a whole bunch of lines, I quickly responded with "that was crossing a line, to answer your question. No, obviously fate through a twist our way that worked out for both of us, we are both better off and happy with what path we have chosen."

She replied "maybe you're happy with the way things turned out but i'm not"

And I didn't reply to that.

[411Help]

Wow, very good job!

Most of us would come crawling back after a text like that.

And, you sir, didn't even reply, well done.

[kctiger]

Misery loves company, and she is obviously bitter at the fact you have moved on and are happier.

Good for you! Life is just too short...

[Romefalls19]

Thanks 411 and KC, I take it for what it's worth when she texts me anymore. I would love to had that text about 10 months ago when her and I first broke up. Ever since I met my fiancé, everything in my life has improved from job location and salary to personal appearance and overal how I feel about myself.

Like my friend told me after I told him about my exes attempts. "She should have been here months ago with open arms and honest face, she made her bed and now she's got to lie in it."

After all that she's done did she really think I would leave my fiancé, who makes me happier than anyone I've been with to go back to the same boring routine her and I were stuck in?

[411Help]

Totally agree :). I wish I was as strong as you man.

[kctiger]

You are that strong, you just don't know it yet. Rome is an example to the power we ALL have once we take it back. Take your power away from her, and live YOUR life. She has no impact whatsoever... not anymore! Carry on...

[Romefalls19]

You guys will all get there, when her and I first parted, I wasn't that strong. I would want her to text me and say anything at all, just to have a conversation. Then something changed, I realized that without her I am still the same person just don't have her in my life. It's a long hard road to travel on, but eventually you will find it smooth and easy to ignore those texts that you know you would have killed to have sent months ago. It's truly rewarding to see how far you have come.

[kctiger]

Personally, I am a much better person now than I ever was when I dated her.

No text, email or phone call from her is needed... ba bye!

[Arzy99]

Hey guys,
Was just reading the thread... and Rome that is amazing dude!. You have come a long long way!
I have had 6 weeks of NC so far... and hopefully I can keep going and get to the stage you are at Rome... I am SO MUCH beter than I was on week 1 where I was struggling like a drug addict. I have now learnt so much and Im learning every day... things are looking good.

Anyway.. guys I was just wondering. Why is it that when your girl leaves you - perhaps for another guy, to live the single lifestyle etc or whatever... that she ONLY comes back once you have fully recovered and Don't want her back?. its funny isn't it... she somehow only comes back when you don't want her back.

Has anyone else had experiences like this?. and does this always happen when the ex leaves you for another guy or single lifestyle.. even though you were a really good guy... I suppose not. But I just found it funny that the world works in such strange ways - she only realises what she had until its completely gone.. wow!

Keep up the good work guys!

[Romefalls19]

To be honest, I wish I knew the true reason, but I don't think we will ever know. But I'll take some stabs at it, at least for my ex.

When my ex left me, for another guy(which she denies to this day but was with him the same week) I was needy, jealous, possessive and didn't take care of myself properly(food and exercise wise) that was December of 2007

Fast forward to the time she started the texting about getting back together. I had finished my counseling, online courses for jealousy and made HUGE strides in better myself as a person, not for her but because I knew I had to if I wanted to have a healthy successful relationship for myself in the future. I also started taking out my anger towards her and myself on the gym, eating right and getting in shape. I have made huge gains in that regards as well, in the best shape of my life and still go to the gym 5 days a week. Everything in my life has gotten better which lead to my personal life getting better and finding someone who accepts me for my flaws and understands that overcoming jealousy is an everyday battle, that I will have slips where I overreact towards something but knows I am trying to make a difference in how I behave about it.