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    AA2008's Avatar
    AA2008 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 28, 2008, 12:45 PM
    Guilt killing my desire?
    Hi guys so me and my ex have been apart for almost 3 months now.
    Here's my previous post:
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ck-231708.html

    My vacation was exactly what was needed.. I've given up on the notion that I'll be able to "win" her back.

    I have been propositioned a fair few times by girls (attractive ones at that!) who I've known for a while and others which have recently come into the picture. I just can't bring myself to see anyone in that light, this is because I feel tremendously guilty. My lifestyle has become much more relaxed lately (no mad partying etc) and my sexual desire is pretty much none existent which is strange. I've always been kind of sex mad to a point. Ever since the break up I can't even bring myself to masturbate/ watch porn or anything of the like.. when I've tried I just get flashbacks of her and then bang there's that guilt feeling again! Is this normal?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Jul 28, 2008, 01:09 PM
    Okay so maybe your subconscious is telling you you need a break and focus on you.
    In the meantime why not take these girls up on their offer to go out but be up front that you are not interested in anything more than going out as friends right now so do not expect anything more. It doesn't hurt to get out and meet people and get to know them and end up with some good memories. It doesn't mean you have to get into a relationship or sleep with them. Just be up front where things stand with you at the moment.
    AA2008's Avatar
    AA2008 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 28, 2008, 02:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u
    Okay so maybe your subconscious is telling you you need a break and focus on you.
    In the meantime why not take these girls up on their offer to go out
    Very much interested in just having an easy life right now.. girls are just not part of that equation right now.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Jul 28, 2008, 02:54 PM
    Then you just say NO :D
    AA2008's Avatar
    AA2008 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 28, 2008, 02:57 PM
    Yeah lol I get that this isn't really what the problem is.. I'm more concerned with my lack of a sex drive which I have going on just wanted to know if it was normal.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jul 28, 2008, 03:41 PM
    Yeah its normal not to want sex after a break up, but with time that will change, so save the guilt trip for a worthy cause and ease your way back to good health.

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