[Boswee]

Okay so my name is Erik and I'm 20 years old. I have a girlfriend and she is 17 years old. We've been seeing each other for awhile now. Long enough to know that if something happened between us we would feel it in our stomach for a long time, and that's a ****ty feeling. So the problem is that I joined the Air Force, and she is still in school. Im not going in to the Air Force until probably August, But who really knows. So she going to school and she is a jounior right now, so she still has a nother year of school, and she is really smart, she has a 4.0. I want her to go to college and do her thing. But I'm going into the Air Force So I will be all over the world, but she could live with me if she wanted to but I want what's best for her, so in that case we would see each other off and on for 4 years. But I don't know about long distance relasonships, do you guys think it could work, I mean I really want it to work. Im really cofused about it all. She dreads the idea of me leaving her, as do I, but I'm not sure what to do. Do you think this could work out. Or should I... I don't know. I need some thoughts about it.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well first after you join the air force you will have basic training and them on to another school to learn your MOS. So you will have months and even up to a year of training that she really could not be there for anyway.

So Go to your training, keep in contact and see what happens, sometimes it works, other times the two of you will grow apart. Only time will happen.

Next of course she needs to finish high school, she could continue in college at variouis air force bases.

Next of course depending on where you are stationed. If you were assigned to the Middle East for example, you may be there for another year after training.

The life of a military family includes a lot of time apart, it is just part of that type of life. In his first 8 years of military life, my son was away from his wife for 4 of them.

[s_cianci]

In my own personal experience long distance relationships are a bad idea and rarely successful. It seems that the two of you are on different paths right now ; you joining the military and she going off to college. Unfortunately my guess would be that the different set of experiences each of you are going to face would only serve to separate you further rather than draw you closer to each other. You can certainly continue to be friends and keep in contact with each other and eventually maybe something will work out between the two of you. However, right now I don't think it'd be fair for you to impose a bunch of expectations on each other that neither of you will be able to live up to. It doesn't sound like it's meant to be right now so do what you need to do and let her do what she needs to do. In a few years, when she graduates from college and you've fulfilled your commitment to the air force then maybe the two of you can make some plans.

[fredg]

Hi,
I do agree with waiting for a couple of years, see if your relationship is still good, and make some plans then.
Don't put your career on the line, go into the Air Force, or whatever you need to do. She is still in high school, has further education to finish, and if you two have a good relationship, maybe it will last.
I am 64 yrs old, married the second time now for 29 yrs. I do know that a 17 yrs old girl still has a whole lot of growing to do, mentally. She needs to finish high school, and if she really has a 4.0 gpa, then she will probably do well in college.
If you really love this girl, and want to do what's right, let her finish her education, and you continue with your career. We never know about the future. Things can change. Life is not certain, and we have to make good decisions today to be more sure of our future tomorrow.
I do wish you the best, and sure; she dreads you leaving... anyone would. But you have to try explaining to her that both your futures are more important right now.

[wynelle]

Go off to do your Air Force training.

Strongly encourage your girlfriend to continue high school, and to do well.

The next year, you will still be doing your AirForce thing. And you should strongly encourage her to apply to college.

Make plans to see her once a quarter for a nice weekend. Send her prepaid phone cards so she can reach you. This helps you separately and independently develop

The third year, she can join you and continue her education, while you continue your Air Force duties. She will be a more mature, more well-rounded indiidual. At this point you can determine if you are still in normal heath relationship.

[kp2171]

Nobody here has the answer for what will happen.

It is hard to maintain such a long distance relationship, and while I hate to play the you're too young card... you guys still have some living to do before you know what you really want.

On the positive side... my cousin was overseas in the air force and dated his girlfriend for 3 years long distance. They have now been married 12 years and have 2 kids.

But speaking as a guy who thought he found THE ONE when he was 17... and dated the girl through 2 years HS, 4 years of college, 1 year med school... I can tell you that what you want and who you want at 18 isn't always right for you at 22 or 24 or 26...

My roommate in college went to a different school than his hs sweetheart... not the same as being overseas... but they stayed together and they are also married, 3 kids...

It happens, but you should be most focused on making yourself the best you can be. Don't make life decisions around a relationship at this stage in your life.

[rachelleturgez8]

My boyfriend is in the army and he goes for long training and I don't get to see him for along time and I thank if you two love each other then I thank it will work you guys will have to thank that you will be coming home soon and see each other. Yes it will be hard for you guys when you go oversea you guys can talk on the compter and phones to. I hope it works