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Barbara25 · May 6, 2014, 07:59 AM

Hello,

I have been seeing a man for the past 5 months. Everything was going very well, he was good at communication and was taking an initiative a lot. He has got a very responsible and very high pressure job. He is currently on 2 weeks trip overseas, and he did not look forward this trip, as he was meant to be dealing people, he doesn't like, and do big audience presentations that he finds very draining. He stopped initiating communication when he got there. I sent him about 2 and he answered to them but did not to another 2 I sent him yesterday and before yesterday. One was asking for a favour, and another a friendly one checking if he is OK. He has read the texts but did not reply, and he is meant to be back this weekend.

I am obviously not very happy with that, but I am wondering whether maybe I am taking it to personally.

I don't want to ask friends for an advice, so I thought I could use this forum to see what other people think, as I worry a little.

Many thanks

Barbara

Wondergirl · May 6, 2014, 08:06 AM

It sounds like a very stressful trip in his new high-pressure job. I'm surprised you got TWO replies. When he returns, don't give him any grief about not replying to you, but just listen if he wants to vent -- and be empathetic. If your history with him so far is good, take that as a good sign and be his "soft place to fall."

Barbara25 · May 6, 2014, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It sounds like a very stressful trip in his new high-pressure job. I'm surprised you got TWO replies. When he returns, don't give him any grief about not replying to you, but just listen if he wants to vent -- and be empathetic. If your history with him so far is good, take that as a good sign and be his "soft place to fall."

Many thanks, you are probably right.

Wondergirl · May 6, 2014, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by Barbara25

Many thanks, you are probably right.

I'm thinking I am! LOL We women have this need to constantly communicate and check our men's welfare and worry about them and care about them. Meanwhile, they are busy slaying dragons and reinventing the wheel and curing cancer and slogging through life as best they can -- and wonder what IS our problem and why can't we just wander into the kitchen and bake cupcakes to keep busy. Relax -- it'll be okay.

J_9 · May 6, 2014, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

they are busy slaying dragons and reinventing the wheel and curing cancer and slogging through life as best they can -- and wonder what IS our problem and why can't we just wander into the kitchen and bake cupcakes to keep busy. Relax -- it'll be okay.

I must say that this is a very sexist comment. Very 1950's.

Barbara, you don't want to appear needy and insecure. This is a trip he was not looking forward to and, most likely, very stressful. You don't want to add stress be texting him and expecting texts in return.

Send him him one a day, then the ball is in his court. If he responds, great, keep it going. If not, respect that he may be too busy or stressed out.

You have only been dating for 5 months, that's hardly a relationship. Don't scare him off.

Barbara25 · May 6, 2014, 08:32 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm thinking I am! LOL We women have this need to constantly communicate and check our men's welfare and worry about them and care about them. Meanwhile, they are busy slaying dragons and reinventing the wheel and curing cancer and slogging through life as best they can -- and wonder what IS our problem and why can't we just wander into the kitchen and bake cupcakes to keep busy. Relax -- it'll be okay.

Yes. It's not so easy though. I probably just can't relate as my job is almost stress free. But thank you for your advice. :)

Thank you.

He did tell me, he was stressed out by this trip, and this is the only country he doesn't like going on business to, as he is not in charge there. As I said I probably find it hard to relate to this as my job is not very stressful. I am only glad I didn't text him anything mean, as that wouldn't be nice.

Wondergirl · May 6, 2014, 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

I must say that this is a very sexist comment. Very 1950's.

Yes, very. I was exaggerating to make my point. Unfortunately, the pay scale and attitudes in the workplace haven't kept up with the push for women's equality in the U.S. and probably in many other countries. But that's a different thread....

We both agree Barbara needs to take a deep breath and relax.

talaniman · May 6, 2014, 09:59 AM

What favor could you have asked him? Maybe it added stress to an already stressful situation so early in this relationship. As a guy, when focused on the job at hand, very little time for other things, so relax and let the man work stress free.

Oliver2011 · May 6, 2014, 10:19 AM

My best friend was in Amsterdam several times this year. He had no connectivity many places. He could also read texts but not send any.

Barbara25 · May 6, 2014, 10:52 AM

Well, it was something he does quiet often, and nothing which takes a lot of time, and something that can wait - I don't mind. But I guess it could have annoy him a little bit. But then to be fair, I wasn't aware at the time how stressed he can get when in Oz. He says he is fine with going to NYC, and any country in Europe, however not OZ as that's where he meets his boss.

Now I feel a bit bad for asking him to do something for me. And I am kind of thinking I should send him a text sometime to explain, but on the other side I also feel it's better not to do big deal out if it too.