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dk2013 · Sep 8, 2013, 08:14 AM

I've brought it up a few times that I want to be a bride. All little girls dream of their happy life with their family. (I know I know! Not always true but I said it). We have been together for 6 years and we both live with parents. I even mentioned moving out and living together, but he said he'd stay with me a few nights of the week but he can't leave his home.

We are both 24 years old and I love him. I don't mind working and neither does he. I'm hurt that he doesn't even bring up the topic on his own. We've invested so much time with each other, been through ups and downs. Its going to hurt, but if he doesn't want me, its only natural to want someone who does.

I want to be happy and I'm making myself feel horrible. I don't want to force anyone to love me, that may lead to cheating. Even a simple fiancé, I'd wait for the marriage. I'm like, "C'mon! Put a ring on it!

Wondergirl · Sep 8, 2013, 08:19 AM

Maybe he isn't "the one." You mentioned he can't leave home?

N0help4u · Sep 8, 2013, 08:19 AM

6 years is too long. What is his excuse for can't leave home? Does he have an invalid mother? Have you been to his house?

dk2013 · Sep 8, 2013, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Maybe he isn't "the one." You mentioned he can't leave home?

Yeah he lives with his single mom and little brother.

Originally Posted by N0help4u

6 years is too long. What is his excuse for can't leave home? Does he have an invalid mother? Have you been to his house?

His older sister is married happily and
His mom likes me. Ive been there a few times. Im not the type to run to other peoples home without being invited. Respect in all

N0help4u · Sep 8, 2013, 08:27 AM

Yeah I just wantef to make sure he wasn't hiding his real purpose -like married and cheating. You need to ask him for a timeline on when he feels something will change. Maybe he is waiting on his little bro to turn 18.

dk2013 · Sep 8, 2013, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Yeah I just wantef to make sure he wasnt hiding his real purpose -like married and cheating. You need to ask him for a timeline on when he feels something will change. Maybe he is waiting on his little bro to turn 18.

Hmm.. never thought of that.. but its kind of inconsiderate to not even tell me that.. he say he wants his life together.. but.. mine isn't better.. I want to build a good life WITH him... :( I'm so sad..

So my question is.. what do you think I should do at this point? Im in love with him... ill be a loving wife to someone. Im already a loving girlfriend.. and a loving friend. I don't look bad.. I'm not high maintenance.. I'm friendly... and his friends know about me.. :[ toot!

Wondergirl · Sep 8, 2013, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by dk2013

So my question is.. what do you think I should do at this point? Im in love with him... ill be a loving wife to someone. Im already a loving girlfriend.. and a loving friend. I dont look bad.. im not high maintenance.. im friendly... and his friends know about me.. :[ toot!

You sound like a prize. But what about him? He doesn't seem to be in any hurry. He can't/won't leave his home to be in one with you. How long will you wait for him?

dk2013 · Sep 8, 2013, 08:48 AM

Im willing to wait as long as it takes but I want [dont need] a token of love for my efforts. Ive even let go of a few guy friends because they formed crushes on me.. I didn't want the drama...

We were best friends before we even kissed for the first time. And we laughed because it was hot and we were both sweaty. :) lol

Hes sweet. Loves his video games [so do I] he's good looking. Our communication is. Really good. But not perfect obviously... I'm afraid he's still in little boy mode... I'm a mommas girl.. but I'm ready to grow up. :[

Cat1864 · Sep 8, 2013, 09:31 AM

Originally Posted by dk2013

Hes sweet. Loves his video games [so do I] hes good looking. Our communication is. Really good. But not perfect obviously... im afraid hes still in little boy mode... im a mommas girl.. but im ready to grow up. :[

Then why are you living at home? Why not get a place of your own?

He may be in 'little boy' mode or he may feel responsible for helping his mother. He may not even understand what is going on in his mind. Some children get caught up in being there for a single or disabled parent and lose sight of their own lives. Does his mother encourage him to make plans for his life or does she expect him to be there for her and his brother?

The older sister may be out and on her own because she hasn't been viewed as the "man of the house."

Does he have a job or go to school? Is he trying to build a stable foundation for his future?

If you want to go to the next step of being 'engaged', why not propose to him?

I would consider six years to be a long time if you were in your 30's, but at 24 you are both at the age where you should be getting settled in your careers especially if you have been in college for most of your relationship.

talaniman · Sep 8, 2013, 11:09 AM

After 6 years tell him to give you a ring while you wait for more. That would be straight and honest and at least open up the conversation but a guy that can't leave home?? Would you live with him at his mom's house??

N0help4u · Sep 8, 2013, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by dk2013

Hmm.. never thought of that.. but its kind of inconsiderate to not even tell me that.. he say he wants his life together.. but.. mine isnt better.. I want to build a good life WITH him... :( im so sad..

So my question is.. what do you think I should do at this point? Im in love with him... ill be a loving wife to someone. Im already a loving girlfriend.. and a loving friend. I dont look bad.. im not high maintenance.. im friendly... and his friends know about me.. :[ toot!

Since you have been to his place he most likely is legit. You have to ask him how long until things change where you can live together. Then you have to decide if YOU are willing to wait that long.

Wondergirl · Sep 8, 2013, 12:15 PM

Does he have a job or go to school? Or does he sleep late and play video games between meals that his mom makes for him? And she does all his laundry and cleans his room and caters to his every need?

What responsibilities does HE have? Being good looking goes only so far, especially in a marriage.

dk2013 · Sep 8, 2013, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Does he have a job or go to school? or does he sleep late and play video games between meals that his mom makes for him? And she does all his laundry and cleans his room and caters to his every need?

What responsibilities does HE have? Being good looking goes only so far, especially in a marriage.

Hes very level minded. He works at his family business. It's a 24 hour job literally. So he pretty much lives at his job when his relief doesn't show up. He buys his own meals does his own laundry etc. Lol he doesn't have a car yet but he's saving up for the one he really wants so he can pay cash for it and forget about it. Hes not some skanks baby daddy. And he is in college.
I believe I should give it more time... but I things never go the way I really want. So I'm worried

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Since you have been to his place he most likely is legit. You have to ask him how long til things change where you can live together. Then you have to decide if YOU are willing to wait that long.

your right. Ill just wait and don't fix it until its broken I guess.. let him pursue me.. I guess hell get the picture if I start to fall for another guy.. not in purpose of course

Thank you ALL who answered to me! Ill still be replying and checking back to see if anymore answers show up. I still fell bad about the whole thing. But Ill get over it like I always do. :\ even if I turn out to be a fool. Then lesson learned I guess. Ill only leave with experience.. :[ kisses to everyone

Im still in pursuit of my perfect life .

Wondergirl · Sep 8, 2013, 12:50 PM

Here's what I would do: I'd edge away a bit and not be so available. I'd get my own life going, or going more than it is, and not be thinking and involved so much with him.

This has two (three? More?) advantages: you will be able to stand back and gain some insight into this relationship and maybe even find someone else whom you can love (and marry!), plus it will give your current boyfriend time apart from you to find out if he even misses you (or notices you are not there).

dk2013 · Sep 8, 2013, 12:52 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Here's what I would do: I'd edge away a bit and not be so available. I'd get my own life going, or going more than it is, and not be thinking and involved so much with him.

This has two (three? more?) advantages: you will be able to stand back and gain some insight into this relationship and maybe even find someone else whom you can love (and marry!), plus it will give your current boyfriend time apart from you to find out if he even misses you (or notices you are not there).

O.o smart!