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sdienes8 · Mar 20, 2013, 02:56 PM

I met this guy who is 12 years younger and he started flirting with a big smile and eyes staring more then 30 seconds every time we saw each other. Then the hellos started while we were at work. Then I saw him outside of work by accident and my friend said he was all eyes on me and big smile like no one else was in the store. Then we exchange some questions and answers about each other mostly him asking the questions and he was not shy in letting everyone know he's flirting with me.

So to make a long story short, this kept on for 7 months because I'm married. So he plays a guitar and I asked him to help me find and buy a guitar for my 16 year old son for his birthday. He said no problem so the only thing I asked and responded to was subject relating to the guitar. So my last text to him was if he was going to be around when I purchase the guitar and if he had the time after giving his last lesson. And he said yes. So I ask him out for a thank you dinner for the help of the guitar and his reply was. He appreciates the thought but he has a date! Later that night

...Merged Threads...

teacherjenn4 · Mar 20, 2013, 02:59 PM

Are you willing to risk your marriage for him?

Homegirl 50 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:01 PM

He may have been flirting, but he has sense enough not to go out with a married woman and he is dating (probably) available women.
How old is he and why were you wanting to take him out to dinner? A thank you would have sufficed

sdienes8 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:09 PM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Are you willing to risk your marriage for him?

No but I realized I have feelings for him know what to do

teacherjenn4 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:11 PM

Originally Posted by sdienes8

no but I realized I have feelings for him know what to do

Take your husband and son out for dinner before you lose them. Then, get into counseling if you value the life you have. If you cheat, life as you know it will be over.
How old are you and the guy?

sdienes8 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:12 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

He may have been flirting, but he has sense enough not to go out with a married woman and he is dating (probably) available women.
How old is he and why were you wanting to take him out to dinner? A thank you would have sufficed

When I asked I did not realize what the feelings where until I got the answer. I thought the feelings I was feeling was more as a casual friend not a romantic friendship

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Take your husband and son out for dinner before you lose them. Then, get into counseling if you value the life you have. If you cheat, life as you know it will be over.
How old are you and the guy?

I'm 43 he is 32

Homegirl 50 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:14 PM

You need to start working on your marriage, thinking about what you have rather than some young man you hardly know and who is dating other people.
How old are you?

You were thrilled with his flirting with you and you asked him out to dinner, Why do you think you did that? Maybe his refusal bruised your ego a bit. You are a married woman and old enough to know better. Leave this man alone.

teacherjenn4 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:23 PM

You need to get counseling and work on your marriage. Otherwise, you will lose everything.

Homegirl 50 · Mar 20, 2013, 03:24 PM

Are you unhappy in your marriage?

sdienes8 · Mar 21, 2013, 04:40 AM

Marriage could be better. Husband works over 70 hrs. a week. Basically raised my son on my own. Been together for 22 yr.

Why would this guy flirt if he is not attracted to you or not interested in a relationship

Homegirl 50 · Mar 21, 2013, 06:57 AM

Guys flirt just like women flirt. It does not mean anything. Maybe he was being friendly and saw you enjoyed the flirting. It does not mean he wants to have a relationship with you.
Are you interested in a relationship? Get some counseling for your marriage. Ask your husband to do counseling, if he does not want to, do it for yourself. Don't jump into an adulterous relationship, It is not the answer.

sdienes8 · Apr 1, 2013, 02:16 PM

I walked into work today and a guy that says hi or hello in his regular voice. But today he saw me but louder then normal and very deep voice said hello how are you and stared until I broke the look. What does it mean? His he trying to get my attention or no?

odinn7 · Apr 1, 2013, 02:17 PM

It could mean anything. Nobody here can know. Have you tried asking him?

Wondergirl · Apr 1, 2013, 02:19 PM

He has a cold?

sdienes8 · Apr 1, 2013, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

He has a cold?

Originally Posted by odinn7

It could mean anything. Nobody here can know. Have you tried asking him?

I was giving him the cold shoulder treatment from a misunderstanding that happen earlier the week before

platinum21 · Apr 1, 2013, 02:35 PM

You're overanalyzing.

Cat1864 · Apr 1, 2013, 02:47 PM

Is this the same person: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ps-740145.html

sdienes8 · Apr 1, 2013, 02:53 PM

Yes

Cat1864 · Apr 1, 2013, 03:11 PM

Please keep all question about this person in this thread. It makes it easier for people to give you accurate advice if they have the whole story in one place.

...Harshness Alert...

Frankly, I think you need to stop worrying about what 'his' intentions or thoughts are because they do not matter. What does matter are your intentions and why you are seeking out his attention. If you weren't then you wouldn't be concerned about a change in his voice or 'giving him the cold shoulder' for any reason. You would be going about your job while being polite when needed and not worrying about anything else.

Is your marriage really that bad? If so, look into separation and divorce. You are not helping make things better in it by putting thought and energy into what a co-worker might want.

Counseling has been mentioned before and I think it would be a very good step for you. You need to work through your issues and decide what you want before you make a mistake that will affect you for the rest of your life.

sdienes8 · Apr 2, 2013, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Please keep all question about this person in this thread. It makes it easier for people to give you accurate advice if they have the whole story in one place.

...Harshness Alert...

Frankly, I think you need to stop worrying about what 'his' intentions or thoughts are because they do not matter. What does matter are your intentions and why you are seeking out his attention. If you weren't then you wouldn't be concerned about a change in his voice or 'giving him the cold shoulder' for any reason. You would be going about your job while being polite when needed and not worrying about anything else.

Is your marriage really that bad? If so, look into separation and divorce. You are not helping make things better in it by putting thought and energy into what a co-worker might want.

Counseling has been mentioned before and I think it would be a very good step for you. You need to work through your issues and decide what you want before you make a mistake that will affect you for the rest of your life.

Thank you for your opinion. But what makes you an expert in marriage. I feel those who successfully made a marriage work for 30 plus years and lost a spouse then due to death are the only experts. Unless you have been in my my sitration and had your marriage shaking after 19 years and 22 yrs total with dating the same person. You should be a little more careful about your response. Counseling I feel are for those who can not figure out how to make a relationship work at all. When I was in college they said most counselors go into counseling to figure out their own life. So why would I take advice from those who are still trying to figure out what a relationship means.
I have been giving this matter so much thought this past week and half it is not funny. I still care for my husband, but feeling do change as you get older. I have prayed about this and ask if this other man is not to effect me. Please let him go away if I don't respond. But this is not going away so now I ask God help to show me the path I need to take. Is it to stay with my husband even throw we are growing apart right now or is it with someone else. I was not looking for anyone, it just happen the very first day I met this guy. We where both all smiles not flirting yet.