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girl_miss12 · Dec 13, 2012, 11:03 AM

Me ex boyfriend has emailed some obscene pics to my fiancée with whom now I am married for 3 years. He married me but now his behavior is not kind and good towards me. He blame me for every thing and does not clear and sort out things . My in laws are also aware of their son s not so good attitude towards me but rather than clearing things his mother try to control me completely. Now my husband is in work permit in oder country and is making no effort to call and make me stay with him. I am a engineer by education and is just at the start of my career. He does not understand what I want and just completely do opposite of my wish and comfort and sexually too he avoids me by not touching and seeing me ( intimate parts) I am so sad depressed of all this. Now his mother is spreading things like our relation is not good to outside and is spoiling my image. He just don't want to clear things with me he is just not committed . Is he still in touch with that past guy I hv no clue but he has seen 2 pics before we were getting married bt now my husband has seen it all. Is there anyhtng left to make this relationship. Kindly help I am soon going to be in depression of all this

Oliver2011 · Dec 13, 2012, 11:28 AM

Did you two know each other well before you made the leap of marriage? Anyone who reads this will probably think not.

Forget the ex-boyfriend. That is the least of your issues.

Until you two are ready and willing to work on your marriage together, you both will continue to go through this.

girl_miss12 · Dec 13, 2012, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Did you two know each other well before you made the leap of marriage? Anyone who reads this will probably think not.

Forget the ex-boyfriend. That is the least of your issues.

Until you two are ready and willing to work on your marriage together, you both will continue to go through this.

What if the ex is blackmailing him? He is just not clearing things I don't want to loose him but he is not happy

girl_miss12 · Dec 13, 2012, 11:46 AM

Being from a conservative family is the virginity things cuming in between . Just paying the price of my blunders and stupidity

Oliver2011 · Dec 13, 2012, 12:00 PM

Originally Posted by girl_miss12

being from a conservative family is the virginity things cuming in between . just paying the price of my blunders and stupidity

"just paying the price of my blunders and stupidity" - but at what point is the price too high? We all have a past where we have done stupid things. The past is the past. Move forward and communicate to your husband.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 13, 2012, 05:24 PM

This a conversation you should have with your husband. Ask if he wants to be married still.

fredg · Dec 13, 2012, 05:30 PM

I am so sorry to read about all this. A good relationship must have respect, trust, and a willingness to talk about anything and everything. Your husband doesn't have any of the above!
Please try talking with him about your marriage. If he refuses, you have two choices. One is to go on like you are; which seems to be very, very unhappy life. The second choice is to talk with a lawyer, one who gives a first free consultation. You might want to decide on filing separation papers. I do wish you the best of luck, in life and also in your job.

Alty · Dec 13, 2012, 05:35 PM

It sounds like you're from a different culture than American culture. Indian perhaps?

If that's the case, I know enough about that culture and the expectations of young people, to know that posing for sexual pictures before you're married, is a big no no. Especially if it's with a man other than the one you marry.

Have you talked to your husband about how you feel? Have you considered counseling?