[bloved]

Me and my fiancé of 4 yrs. Have a son together. I have an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Lately we have been arguing a lot. He hates my daughter. He says she is a very disrespectful little girl. At first I would let him discipline her. He is way too harsh on her to the point where he is mentally abusing her. He refers to my daughter as a little perra piece of ****.

It's to the point where me and him get into it because I don’t appreciate him calling her names. I’ve told him numerous times for all of us to go to counseling, church somewhere to seek for help. He refuses. Recently he told me is either him or my daughter. He says our relationship is messed up because of her. It seems that every time me and him get into it about my daughter he goes out and drinks stays out late and comes back drunk. I feel like he puts that as an excuse to be out with his friends.

Another thing is that he is always in and out of my life. He has one foot in the relationship and one out. Just recently he came home at 12 am drunk and this time I kicked him out. I don’t know if I did the right decision. I miss him. Our argument was over my daughter. He got upset because I did not leave her home after school and instead I took her to the babysitter. He says I let my daughter do whatever she wants. And that’s not true my daughter did not feel comfortable staying home with my fiancé being there.

When my daughter is not with us, he does the same thing. He leaves and comes back drunk. He calls me names he puts me down to the point where my self-esteem is to the lowest. He takes me and his son for granted. He chooses his friends and everything else over us. And now I’m sitting here asking myself if I did the right thing. Usually its him that leaves me and this time around it was me.

I am fed up yet I miss him. It hurts that he can’t be a family man with us. It hurts that he puts my daughter as an excuse. I don’t know how to feel. Help...

[TheKidOfTheWise]

Do not cast away your daughter for a man like that. Your daughter is what should be important to you. If that man wants you to pick him over your daughter get rid of him. Do it before he touches you or your daughter.

[lilcheerleader0]

Dump him! You deserve so much better and if he doesn't accept your daughter then Eff him! He is not worth your time! You don't need that in your life just tell him that your daughter is more important than he is and if he can not change his attitude then you are going to take him to court because if you live in Washington then you are more likely to get custody of both childeren even if you don't live in Washington with him getting drunk and saying all that stuff about your daughter then the court would never let him have coustody of either of them.

Do not cast away your daughter for a man like that. Your daughter is what should be important to you. If that man wants you to pick him over your daughter get rid of him. Do it before he touches you or your daughter.

That is exacly what I say! He is a freaking pig! He doesn't deserve her love!

[talaniman]

You have done the right thing and in time, if you stick to your decision, it will get better for you all. Don't forget child support for your 4 year old.

Be safe.

[LadySam]

I just want to chime in and say "good for you"
Yes, you absolutely did the right thing.

[bloved]

Thank you all for your answers. Although, I feel horrible at this moment I know I did the right decision. I have two precious kids to look forward to. I love him enough to let him go. All I can do now is pray for him to be a better person even if it's not me who he's with.