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    stargirl2712's Avatar
    stargirl2712 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jun 5, 2012, 09:40 AM
    What is going on through his head and what should I do?
    My boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago due to differences in religions. He was Christian, and I was not. We decided to stay good friends, and as the semester in college progressed, we almost acted as a real couple. We would kiss each other on the cheek, hug, go on little "dates," though we would never call ourselves a couple. Naturally, I got more attached to him because he was still showing special attention to me.

    Last week of school, he suddenly stopped texting me, but when he would see me in person, he would still act lovey dovey and coupley. I discovered through Facebook that another Christian girl has started talking to him more suddenly. Once when I was playing a game on his phone, I saw a text from her. I never read it but when I went to his inbox, I saw that they have been texting nonstop for a couple days. Naturally I was hurt because he was being intimate with me in person while ignoring me on every other level. I confronted him about it and told him that I need space to move on and that I shouldn't be feeling that way. He said that this Christian girl was the one who initiated the conversation and that it's hard for a guy to respond when a girl is being so nice. He also said that he's not sure if he likes her or not and that he doesn't think it will work out.

    It really baffles me how he can seem to be so in love with me in person then completely ignore me when another girl just starts texting him. It's been nearly a month and these two idiots have been interacting more on Facebook, and it really makes me sad, so I started this whole No Contact thing. I'm okay with not talking to him in the summer but afraid of school. He's really popular in the Asian community, and I fear he will flaunt this girl. I don't want people judging me and thinking she's better than me! I want to be the winner and make him feel sad. I feel he doesn't care at all now.

    What's going on through his head and what do I do? Sorry for this long paragraph.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    Jun 5, 2012, 09:48 AM
    Don't worry about him, when school comes around it will be difficult I won't lie. You need to focus on the present and future, and try to keep him out of it. I think he's being "lovey dovey" around you because he still wants the romance in his life without having to commit. Once he gets in deep with this other girl he could drop you faster than you can catch yourself, you don't want that.

    Best to move on and try to forget him, try you best to ignore his activities in school, because it can only hurt you.

    "Don't make someone a priority in your life, if you're only an option in theirs."
    stargirl2712's Avatar
    stargirl2712 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2012, 02:08 PM
    I know I feel a little better not contacting him; however, I just get these thoughts in my head that he's in love with this new girl! I feel like he doesn't care about me at all.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #4

    Jun 5, 2012, 02:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stargirl2712 View Post
    I know I feel a little better not contacting him; however, I just get these thoughts in my head that he's in love with this new girl! I feel like he doesn't care about me at all.
    Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, but it doesn't matter because he should no longer be your concern.
    stargirl2712's Avatar
    stargirl2712 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Jun 6, 2012, 01:31 PM
    True. I'm just trying to keep myself busy and not contact him. Why do you think he acted that way?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #6

    Jun 6, 2012, 01:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stargirl2712 View Post
    True. I'm just trying to keep myself busy and not contact him. Why do you think he acted that way?
    To be honest I couldn't tell you, but it shouldn't matter. Life is full of what ifs, those who are the most successful in life don't let the what ifs take over the future.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Jun 6, 2012, 02:14 PM
    In dating there should not be winning and losing, you two broke up, it sounds like he was honest about it and what you had was just friendships that you misunderstood.

    But you move on, you start dating someone else, and don't worry about what happens when school starts
    stargirl2712's Avatar
    stargirl2712 Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Jun 6, 2012, 03:13 PM
    I definitely didn't misunderstand our friendship or anything because he initiated all that intimate stuff and would tell me things like "if you were Christian, I'd marry you." I guess I wanted to have the power to end our little "friends with benefits" type thing, but again... he just goes and does something hurtful. I guess you can never really know why he did what he did with this Christian girl and then me at the same time. I've started the whole no contact thing, and it made me feel better a little already. I'm only fearful of school because he's overly romantic and capable of flaunting that girl every where. I just don't want to see it but we are in one, big friend group. I don't want people taking sides and going to him just because they seem "cute." He is very likeable too. Luckily, I do have other friend groups so I guess I should just invest in that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jun 6, 2012, 04:28 PM
    I guess your little power play back fired, and you have to adjust and get your own life together, and leave his alone. That lovey dovey play couple crap never works out. Now you know.

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