[nobodys_gf3]

I've been seeing this guy for about four years and he knows a lot of my issues - that I've had bouts of depression, have a not-so-great relationship with my father and that I take meds. I've been seeing a therapist and working on my problems - but many of my issues seem to pop up with this guy. He makes fun of me a lot and when I get upset, tells me he is kidding and I am too sensitive.

Anyway, to my question. We went out last night and I got upset about something he said to me, so I got quiet. Today I brought it up and he turned it around on me - he told me he was done with me. It's over.

He told me I was always making trouble and that I was "unstable". When I asked if he really believed that he said "i was fruit-loops emotionally". My response was to this: Maybe you are right. If you do not want to be involved with someone who is not perfect, then go away. I told him he takes my faults and beats me with them.

His response was: Okay - thanks. I'll take that into consideration.

WHAT? What does that mean? That he is reconsidering breaking up with me? Should I be mad and just dump him myself? Should I wait to see what he is talking about and if he apologizes?

[chuff]

We went out last night and I got upset about something he said to me, so I got quiet. Today I brought it up and he turned it around on me - he told me he was done with me. It's over.

He told me I was always making trouble and that I was "unstable". when i asked if he really believed that he said "i was fruit-loops emotionally". My response was to this: Maybe you are right. If you do not want to be involved with someone who is not perfect, then go away. I told him he takes my faults and beats me with them.

His response was: Okay - thanks. I'll take that into consideration.

WHAT?

What do you mean WHAT?

He told you that his problem is you are too sensitive and you go from one extreme to another. He finally got tired of dealing with the extremes and when you challenged him with a guilt trip he called you on it.

I'm not in favor of someone beating up another on their faults but you aren't without yours. You challenge him and dare him and then you give him the guilt trip. After 4 years of this he's decided enough is enough and he wants to break from from it.

[Alty]

His response was: Okay - thanks. I'll take that into consideration.

It's the brush off. In other words, he's saying "Ya, whatever, it's all me. Not!"

He's being sarcastic.

It sounds like he's had enough and he's done. It's time to accept it, continue your therapy, and heal yourself before you start another relationship.

Good luck.

[DoulaLC]

He's not healthy for you... he has given you an out, take him up on it and let him go.

As was said, focus instead on continuing the work at getting yourself to a healthier place emotionally.

[talaniman]

We are all unstable to some extent or another and some are healthier than others. Let him go and keep working on yourself, and find someone who can work with you. Maybe he is unstable who knows.

[nobodys_gf3]

Thanks for the responses. Chuff, I think you are a little harsh - I did not challenge him with a guilt trip, I told the truth. He is constantly hammering on my issues and completely ignoring his own - which are many, which I deal with like a grown up. Anyway, I gave him the green flag to be "done". Why waste my time loving someone who cannot accept me for who I am? At least I am working on my issues. He refuses to acknowledge his own. On my way to healthy, without someone dragging me back down. Thanks again.

[answerme_tender]

Nobodys,

I appreciate that we should be able to be ourselves in a relationship, but that also means we have to accept our partners inner self! We cannot pick and chose their personality traits that please us, then complain and moun about the ones the tick us off without expecting it coming back onto our laps so to speak.

I agree that if you are not happy in this relationship that you should move on, but I also think this would be a great opportunity to realize that we all need to sometimes take a look on the inside of ourselves, there are some really great things we have to offer, but lets face it, there are also some really ugly inner baggage that we need to get rid of for our own growth! Good luck