[autumnsattic]

My two best friends are dating.
I have known him for five years, and we have been best friends the whole time. I have known her for a little under two: we have become very close as well.
I met her because he dated her a few years back, and when they broke up I thought she was really nice and wanted to be friends. They haven't spoken since the breakup because she holds grudges like crazy... I thought it was funny. They're my two closest friends in the world, and I love both of them to death.
About six months ago, I developed a little crush on him. I thought it would go away, since I get little, meaningless crushes on him a lot. It didn't. I just got stronger and stronger and stronger until I had to admit to myself that I was falling in love with him.
They started talking again four weeks ago: they are now back together.
It is absolutely killing me, and I can't take this anymore. I want them to be happy. I don't want to lose either of them. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I would never do anything to hurt either of them; I wish everything was like it was before I loved him.
Please tell me how to make myself not die inside when I see them together.

[talaniman]

Keep those crush feelings to yourself, and get a life that doesn't have to include them in it. Find your own fun, and back away from theirs.

Removing yourself to a safer distance will certainly help over time. Honestly, I have gone through this a lot with my own female friends, even when I was with someone else, and even when I got married.

I think its just natural sometimes to have strong feelings of attraction to people in our lives, and it gets stronger, or fades, depending on what's going on in YOUR life, like a cycle, or trigger, may be a better term.

How we deal with it is what counts. So acknowledging your feelings as natural, and taking the right actions that keep you on the right side of what you define as good behavior is the way to go.

Sometimes we have to just be busy, and unavailable to even our best of friends, for the sake of our own sanity.

[Confused088]

1. You need to talk to your best (girl) friend and tell her what's going on. Explain to her that you didn't WANT this to happen and yet it did. If she's a true friend, she'll understand.
2. If she goes off on you about it then you might want to get to the guy you like and tell him before she does. It's always best to tell him YOURSELF than for him to hear it from his crazed; furious girlfriend.
3. I'm going to guess they won't stay together and this way they're broken up.
4. If they break up and she didn't get mad when you told her, you need to tell him. Maybe you can sit down and talk to him and talk this thing out.
5. Finally, I would suggest dating him because it would break your bestfriend's heart to see him not only with another woman, but her best friend. Trust me, I would know how she would feel.
I hope my advice helped you!! Good Luck!

[Enigma1999]

1. You need to talk to your best (girl) friend and tell her what's going on. Explain to her that you didn't WANT this to happen and yet it did. If she's a true friend, she'll understand.
2. If she goes off on you about it then you might want to get to the guy you like and tell him before she does. It's always best to tell him YOURSELF than for him to hear it from his crazed; furious girlfriend.
3. I'm going to guess they won't stay together and this way they're broken up.
4. If they break up and she didn't get mad when you told her, you need to tell him. Maybe you can sit down and talk to him and talk this thing out.
5. Finally, I would suggest dating him because it would break your bestfriend's heart to see him not only with another woman, but her bestfriend. Trust me, I would know how she would feel.
I hope my advice helped you!!! Good Luck!

I'm sorry to say that I don't agree with any of this.

I agree with Tal. I would keep it to yourself. Spare them of the discomfort of knowing this. There will be wierdness with all of you if you do tell them.

What you're feeling is common. I too have been in a situation where a close friend was with someone who I thought about and cared for, but I never spoke of it. I left it alone.

They are together. You care for them, as they do for you, so don't ruin that with mixed feelings.

If I were you,I would start to build other relationships with people and do more things that don't include them so much. You will see over time that your feelings for this man will subside and that you will find another man(who is single) to be around.

Good luck.

[Homegirl 50]

Start doing things apart from them. Get in with a new circle of friends. The less time you spend with them the better you will feel.
Telling them does no one any good.
I wish you well.