[mixedupgirly]

Entire story merged

Hey too everyone out there.
My name is Amber, and I'm just me...
And just me doesn't seem good enough anymore :(

I understand that many of us girls out there have boyfriend troubles, and we always want to find out what's inside there heads and stuff :( and too right we do heck were only human right?
But I really need some help and would be so grateful to anyone that could give me some advice..

Ive been with my boyfriend almost 9 months, I had liked him for four years :(
And obviously still do :) love him to bits!
He knows that a lot is going on for me at the moment with exams and my dad being very ill and last night a had a horse accident. He didn't seem to care atoll.
Like all relationships there's good times and bad times, but now this is just getting too much for me :'( he never says how he feels, he's never there, never answers his phone,
And the other day I stormed round his house #very upset# his mum answer the door and I was in tears, she let me in and my boyfriend just stood there looking at me! Didn't come give me a hug didn't even care he just carried on watching the football.. I feel like I can't tell him anything anymore because I will never get a caring response. Hardly see him... n its always me saying I love him me seeing him me texting him me making all the effort all the time.. never the other away around, he has a lot of girl mates and I don't mind that.. but when he's chatting to them all the time.. it gets a bit upsetting because its never me.. so yeah a bit of jealousy there too :# I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong... my parents hate him, my friends hate him... and there's me who's so used too it now I can't even see what he's doing too me anymore :'(
Myself confidence has gone I feel like I can't be happy anymore and I get scared too go on Facebook because I know heel be happier when he's NOT talking too me and chatting to everyone else well that's how it seems :(
I love him so much...
I know what I should do but I can't let him go :(
Thanks too everyone who reads and comments it means so much xx

[Devorameira]

You need to realize that it isn't you that is doing anything wrong, it is HIM. Also know that your self-esteem is dropping because of his "nothing" attitude.

He obviously isn't in love with you and isn't worth your time. If he were, he would definitely comfort you when you are in pain. Some men are not affectionate, but even unaffectionate ones that love their women will still show concern and want to talk about the problems.

You'd be smart to throw him back in the pond!

[jmooney527]

**REALITY CHECK**

I know you mean well, but it sounds like you're too needy. He walks all over you and you let him come back for more each time. It sounds like you've invested too much of yourself in him, to the point where you've lost yourself completely.

Stop calling him all the time, stop texting him, stop CHASING him. If you chase someone like you are, they RUN AWAY. I think your fear of losing him is what's driving you to try harder with him, and it's only pushing him further away.

Pick up a hobby or some activity that makes you happy. Remember you? Do something that makes you happy as an individual... then if your relationship does go sour, at least you'll have your own life to fall back on.

Sorry I don't want to sound harsh, but he obviously doesn't respond well when you're doing all the texting and phone calling. Take things as they are and work on yourself. Spend more time with your Dad and your friends.

[talaniman]

When a guy doesn't return your love, you leave.

When a guy doesn't put you first, you leave.

When a guy can't meet your needs, you leave

When a guy can't communicate and make you feel wanted, you leave.

When a guy is not working as hard as you, You leave.

When your not happy being with a guy, and its affecting your spelling, and grammar, you leave.

Have I made my point? You already know what to do for yourself, just do it.

[amicon]

Its time to leave this guy.

He doesn't care about you,nor does he respect you or your feelings.

Walk away and work on getting your selfrespect back.

[Karta666]

When a guy doesn't return your love, you leave.

When a guy doesn't put you first, you leave.

When a guy can't meet your needs, you leave

When a guy can't communicate and make you feel wanted, you leave.

When a guy is not working as hard as you, You leave.

When your not happy being with a guy, and its affecting your spelling, and grammar, you leave.

Have I made my point?? You already know what to do for yourself, just do it.

I always try and see hope in every 'failing relationship', but I'm afraid I agree with everyone, especially the post above which details your partners actions (or rather inactions). This isn't a failing relationship, this is a failed relationship.

When I say failed, do not place blame on yourself or call yourself a failure - sometimes things go wrong through no fault of your own, and to me it sounds like this guy cannot offer you what you need, so the failure is his - for all the reasons talaniman has so aptly listed above.

It's time to re-learn who you are as an individual, instead of focusing on who you are with him.

[mixedupgirly]

Thank you to everyone who's put their thoughts and opinons.
I understand that ve become "klingy" but that's because I have become a total insucure wreck. Yesterday I had a reality check and relised yes I have become anoying but that's only because I'm trying so hard to fix something that is never going too work, he won't get hurt at the end of it I WILL! And that's not right... enoughs enough... thank you amber xx

[britEl]

I would tell you to go and check out my Question (which was pretty close to what you're going through) but its so long and horrible I don't think you would want to read it.

All I can say is I think you need to back up and really think about what you're getting out of this relationship. Which as far as I can see is nothing.
He doesn't care, he doesn't want to talk to you, he would rather be with friends, he doesn't seem like he loves you. (im sorry to say that I know its hard)
I know it hurts but I think you need to get out while you still can. If you feel sad, unsure, upset, unappreciated, unloved, and you confidence is down. I think you need to get out. (and yes it is easier said than done, but it will be better for you in the long run) You can't make someone love you, or care about you. You have to find the right someone who shares the same feelings that you feel for them. And it may hurt but believe me, you can pull through it!

[mixedupgirly]

Threads merged

Well after the whole situwation I had with my ex boyfriend he did in the end dump me...
So I agree its for the best.. aslong as he's happy :( problem is I just can't get him off my mind, he used too go to bed really late and he used too send me A text just too say night and that he loves me loads.. so I wake up in the night thinking he's sent something but I see that he hasn't. (I know its silly but its just one of them things I guess) and yeah he treated me like a picse of crap.. but I can't help think of the happy times, the good times... yesterday a few of my friends and myself went to An army day thing which was really good fun! Until one of my friends turned too me and said isn't this were you and dan (the guy that dumped me) watched those fireworks and after looking around I noticed it was. And my heart just sunk. Watching the fireworks with him was the happiest night of my life we were so happy kissing in the rain and just not caring about anything acsept each other :( just things like that keep coming into my mind and I just miss him... my friends don't understand so I just wondered if I could have some advice...
I thought it was just going to be like every break up.. a good cry eating icecream and then it doesn't hurt after a bit but this is so different, it just doesn't want too budge.. he treated me bad but I try too look for the best in people, I just don't know what too do.

[redhed35]

It sounds like you are having your first taste of a real broken heart... the bad news is it hurts like hell,the good news is you will recover,the even better news is,once you recover you will be stronger and have a new approach to relationships and how to deal with a broken heart.

Going no contact,staying busy,and getting involved with your friends will all help you in the process.

No contact is hard,but its not fatal.. you will live and you will get over this.

There are great stickies in the relationship forum,it's a good starting point.