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nwysf · Mar 29, 2010, 11:12 AM

I met this girl about 6 years back, everything was great, we went on several dates, used to talk for hours on phone, then suddenly she was unavailable, we would only talk once a week or so, had a fight over this and broke up with her.

Then some 2 years after that breakup she called one day and said that she missed me, I had been in and out of a few relationships but was not totally over her yet, so we got back together and everything was great once again, once after finishing a date with her, I came home and decided that I will not call her unless she calls me, I just deleted her number from my cell. She never called, I cursed myself countless time for that.

So now 4 years after that encounter I bump into her, we started talking again, she told me that she has just had a breakup, I thought my timing couldn't have been better, everything was great once again, going on dates, talking for hours on the phone, but then she started ignoring me completely, I would send several messages and wouldn't stop calling her, the only reply would be a text message that says "wait, I am busy" I would wait the whole day, without her contacting, After a week of this going on I decided to stop calling her or texting her and wait for her to contact me, but this is proving to be hard, I have been literally staring at my cell phone waiting for it to ring, every time it rings I am disappointed to see that it is not her.

I am really confused, why is our relationship always like this, everything is great for a few months then it goes downhill, I have spent many sleepless nights cursing myself for ending the relationship after my last encounter with her 4 years back so I am very reluctant to call it quits. I just have no idea why she is behaving like this, can someone please explain why she is ignoring me?

Kitkat22 · Mar 29, 2010, 11:17 AM

Advice.. Sorry she is not the one
For you... Move on .

amicon · Mar 29, 2010, 11:45 AM

Why do you want to have a relationship that goes:

Great dates-honeymoon period-radiosilence(for obscure reasons)-ie breakup?

Don't you think its rather pointless to repeat the same pattern of behaviour a number of times and expect a different result?

Leave this be-it is not working.

I wish · Mar 29, 2010, 12:54 PM

She only wants to find you when she feels like it. Very similar to what we call a "booty call".

You're convenient. If you want something more serious, then sit her down and talk about it. Otherwise, keep her out of your life so that you don't add to the confusion.

Kitkat22 · Mar 29, 2010, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by I wish

She only wants to find you when she feels like it. Very similar to what we call a "booty call".

You're convenient. If you want something more serious, then sit her down and talk about it. Otherwise, keep her out of your life so that you don't add to the confusion.

She wants you, when she can't find anyone else! Don't be a weak man!
Women do not respect weak men! You can do better!

nwysf · Mar 29, 2010, 02:23 PM

I am doing NC but it is killing me, I have been just looking at my phone the last 2 days hoping she would call :S

If this is just the "booty call" then why did she want her parents approval of me so badly, met her parents several times and they really liked me which made her really pleased.

Devorameira · Mar 29, 2010, 05:03 PM

Both of you appear to be addicted to the drama. :( Yo-yo relationships are not normal. Relationships that thrive on dramatic break-ups and reunions lack an important piece of the puzzle. Maybe the chemistry is there, but not the timing; the desire, but not the communication.

Why waste your time with foolish games, when you are surrounded with so many opportunities to be happy and succeed in other ways? By messing around with a meaningless relationship you are denying other chances to meet new people, try new things, and expand your horizons.

Although I know you want to make this relationship work, sometimes there is only so much you can do, before you let go of the reigns and let life take its course.

I suggest that you take a serious step back from your situation and reevaluate. Is this really what's best for you, or are you too afraid of change?

nwysf · Mar 30, 2010, 12:06 AM

I am thinking everyone here is right, I need to stop letting her do this to me.

Before a proper break up, I just want to confront her once and ask her the reason for this, why she is doing what she is doing, but since I know her enough I am thinking that asking her straight will not work. Is there a better way to ask this question?

the_original · Mar 30, 2010, 12:20 AM

Best way to ask that question if you must do it is in person, that way she can't say"wait I'm busy" or something along those lines. However, I would let sleeping dogs lie my friend. It's been a couple years each time and she hasn't changed her act up at all?. leave her be.

Imabadman · Mar 30, 2010, 06:49 AM

Quite frankly I would just walk away. This honeymoon then distancing happens every time you two get together. This may be her issue or it could be that you very well may be smothering her and she backs away.

Either way it's dysfunctional and not a good way to live. If you two can't talk it out and figure it out, then walk away and find someone you're compatible with.

myagony1234 · Mar 30, 2010, 07:24 AM

Originally Posted by nwysf

I am really confused, why is our relationship always like this, everything is great for a few months then it goes downhill, I have spent many sleepless nights cursing myself for ending the relationship after my last encounter with her 4 years back so I am very reluctant to call it quits. I just have no idea why she is behaving like this, can someone please explain why she is ignoring me??

I can explain it to you clearly. She is NOT INTO you. She used you when she was free. Forget about her, stop wasting your valuable time and energy. Please find someone else and be happy! :)

Devorameira · Mar 30, 2010, 07:29 AM

Don't bother with the confrontation. You just need to accept the fact that she's not the one for you and move on.

When you go NC that means that you move on and do not call, text, e-mail, meet up with, or answer any phone calls from her. It's hard, but it's the only way to go.

amicon · Mar 30, 2010, 08:42 AM

There's no point even bothering with a confrontation.

You never got,or gave any answers before,so why would this happen now?

Kitkat22 · Mar 30, 2010, 08:56 AM

This woman does not LOVE you! Sorry that's the only thing I can say. Why would you want her back? Don't be a puppet. Cut the strings!

talaniman · Mar 30, 2010, 03:50 PM

Disappear from her life. But this time, stay that way.

Homegirl 50 · Mar 30, 2010, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by the_original

Best way to ask that question if you must do it is in person, that way she can't say"wait I'm busy" or something along those lines. However, I would let sleeping dogs lie my friend. It's been a couple years each time and she hasn't changed her act up at all?.....leave her be.

She does what she does because you keep taking her back. She can hurt you only if you let her.
You two are not a match. She has not even called you. Get a clue, leave this alone. If she comes at you again, say hello and keep going.

Kitkat22 · Mar 30, 2010, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

She does what she does because you keep taking her back. She can hurt you only if you let her.
You two are not a match. She has not even called you. Get a clue, leave this alone. If she comes at you again, say hello and keep going.

You two are like oil and water, you don't mix! Get Away From Her. NO CONTACT. You might as well put a sign on your back that says , go ahead and walk on me. Leave her alone!