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chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 01:22 PM

Me and my boyfriend broke up badly a few days ago. Today was the first day we've spoken in a week. We decided to stay friends and to see how we get on. We've given it a 4 month time limit if after the four months we have been getting on well and were both ready wel give it another go if not we will leave it at that and move on. Also we are not allowed meet other people during that four months until we sure. Is this the right thing to do?

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 01:24 PM

I wouldn't have agreed to the "we are not allowed to meet other people" rule. The whole point is to find out if the two of you are right for each other, and dating others will help you decide that.

Wolfrey · Feb 11, 2010, 01:29 PM

I don't know, how long have you guys been together? I think that if you were to date around and meet new people, if you did wind up getting back together it would lead to insecurity. If you are like me, it won't last four months. Probably not even 2 days before you want each other back so bad it hurts. If it's meant to be, it'll be.

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by Wolfrey

I don't know, how long have you guys been together? I think that if you were to date around and meet new people, if you did wind up getting back together it would lead to insecurity. If you are like me, it won't last four months. Probably not even 2 days before you want each other back so bad it hurts. If it's meant to be, it'll be.

We have been together just over 3 years.ya I think that's why I don't want to meet other people because if I heard that he was with someone else the insecurity would kill me! He agreed to this no problem and we also agreed that we wouldn't sleep together until then

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

we have been together just over 3 years.ya i think thats why i dont want to meet other people because if i heard that he was with someone else the insecurity would kill me! he agreed to this no problem and we also agreed that we wouldnt sleep together until then

Back in the '60s, my boyfriend of SIX years and I always left it open to meet new people, just in case. Um, we never married, aren't married to each other today.

kctiger · Feb 11, 2010, 01:44 PM

I'm not sure I understand this. You are broken up but aren't allowed to see other people. How are you two technically broken up then? I just don't understand how you can try to remain friends with the sole intention of hopefully getting back together. Isn't the point of taking a break to do without one another for awhile to see how it works?

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

if i heard that he was with someone else the insecurity would kill me!

Was this "friends" thing your idea? If so, why?

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Back in the '60s, my boyfriend of SIX years and I always left it open to meet new people, just in case. Um, we never married, aren't married to each other today.

So are you saying that not seeing other people is the right decision?

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Was this "friends" thing your idea? If so, why?

No it was his really

Originally Posted by kctiger

I'm not sure I understand this. You are broken up but aren't allowed to see other people. How are you two technically broken up then? I just don't understand how you can try to remain friends with the sole intention of hopefully getting back together. Isn't the point of taking a break to do without one another for awhile to see how it works?

Well we had spoken an we said wed finish on good terms then as we got talking more it ended up at this decision! This was more or less his idea though

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

so are you saying that not seeing other people is the right decision?

I'm saying (which I said in an earlier post in this thread) that meeting and dating other people is what you DO when you are just friends and not being exclusive with each other.

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I'm saying (which I said in an earlier post in this thread) that meeting and dating other people is what you DO when you are just friends and not being exclusive with each other.

Wel both of us don't want to be with other people. I guess it just some space without other people being involved. We decided to be friends as in we would meet up every now and again and see how we get on. Not all the time though

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

wel both of us dont want to be with other people. i guess it just some space without other people being involved. we decided to be friends as in we would meet up every now and again and see how we get on. not all the time tho

Then you are exclusive with each other, not dating others. Nothing has changed. A husband and wife are friends too and "meet up every now and again and see how they get on, but not all the time" since they have lives apart from each other.

talaniman · Feb 11, 2010, 02:18 PM

Why can't you work together and just get through this without a "break" without these silly rules?

Thats not a break, its holding each other hostage.

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 02:19 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Then you are exclusive with each other, not dating others. Nothing has changed. A husband and wife are friends too and "meet up every now and again and see how they get on, but not all the time" since they have lives apart from each other.

So should I say this to him so? That this means we are exclusive if this is what we plan to do

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Why can't you work together and just get thru this without a "break" without these silly rules?

Thats not a break, its holding each other hostage.

Because I think we got a bit too serious a bit too quick. Would a bit of space not do us good?

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

would a bit of space not do us good?

Space? What space?

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Space? What space?

We were together 24/7, just give each other time to do other things besides be together

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

we were together 24/7, just give each other time to do other things besides be together

Then you are still exclusive. You two "broke up" and are now back together again. "Being friends" has nothing to do with it. You were friends before, and you are friends now.

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Then you are still exclusive. You two "broke up" and are now back together again. "Being friends" has nothing to do with it. You were friends before, and you are friends now.

As far as he is concerned though we are not together (and me before talking to ye) how do I set him straight now

Wondergirl · Feb 11, 2010, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by chick23

as far as he is concerned tho we are not together (and me before talking to ye) how do i set him straight now

If he thinks you are not together, he will date other girls.

I think the two of you need to make sure you are on the same page: together or not together.

chick23 · Feb 11, 2010, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

If he thinks you are not together, he will date other girls.

I think the two of you need to make sure you are on the same page: together or not together.

He agreed to not being with other people too! He said he would hate to see me with someone else and there was no way he would be with anyone. So do you think he was lying