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    jsu0272n's Avatar
    jsu0272n Posts: 33, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Feb 1, 2010, 10:10 PM
    Should my girfriend and I move in together
    Okay so here the break down. I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 21 we have been dating for 8 months , but have known each for five years. She is ready to move out of her parents house because she wants some independence and does not depend on them financially. I already live by myself we want to move in together but are not sure if we will be able to swing all the bills. I 'm in my third year of college and don't really have a job right now I'm living off student loans she is not in school and works full time at a hospital. We are also having a hard time trying to tell her parents because they are controlling and don't approve of her moving out. We really just need some perspective from outside. The bills we are not so worried about done the math and as always it will be hard but it is do able we will struggle while I finish school but who isn't struggling. Any advice would be helpful.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2010, 10:43 PM

    Financial stress is one of the biggest problems facing even well established couples ( by that I mean couples who have spent many years together ) I'm definitely not against young couples moving in together but I'd be very wary about moving in together unless your really sure you can both cope financially , you don't want that to ruin your Relationship.
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2010, 10:50 PM

    Where do you currently live?
    How do you pay for that?
    jsu0272n's Avatar
    jsu0272n Posts: 33, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Feb 1, 2010, 10:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    unless your really sure you can both cope financially , you don't want that to ruin your Relationship.
    I can pay all my bills and she can pay all her bills we just don't really have a whole lot left over . Which is no big deal to me cause I have been on my own since I was sixteen , but I'm just worried about her because she is not used to being out on her own. We are and have been really good friends way before we started dating which makes communication very very easy which seems to be one of the biggest problems in most relationships. I don't know what will happen but I appreciate your input.
    jsu0272n's Avatar
    jsu0272n Posts: 33, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Feb 1, 2010, 11:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CarrotTalker View Post
    Where do you currently live?
    How do you pay for that?
    I live by myself in an apartment I pay all the bills but like I said I live off my student loans right now ,which is not a great idea I know , but I usually work part time as well just struggling through college but I seem to make it okay. I'm used to not really having a whole lot because I moved out on my own when I was a teenager so its no big deal to me its her I'm worried about.
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #6

    Feb 1, 2010, 11:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jsu0272n View Post
    i live by myself in an apartment i pay all the bills but like i said i live off my student loans right now ,which is not a great idea i know , but i usually work part time as well just struggling through college but i seem to make it okay. im used to not really having a whole lot because i moved out on my own when i was a teenager so its no big deal to me its her im worried about.
    So it sounds like her moving in with you would add income stream to the mix. If you can slide by now, it should be easier if she has a job.
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #7

    Feb 1, 2010, 11:02 PM

    What are you worried about with her?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Feb 1, 2010, 11:13 PM
    Wait a year and see how the relationship goes as moving together just so she can get out of the house is not a good reason to move with a boyfriend. It brings more problems than it solves because she will have her freedom, and want to use it.

    You may have been friends or acquaintances for any number of years before being a couple, great communications so far, (8 months? Not long enough to know any one), but as young adults finding your own way? Naw, the odds are great that the stress will tear you down.

    I would want to be sure of a future before I tied my star to someone who hasn't the experience of being on their own, or independent for some time.

    Not against living together, but if your hoping to play house, at least agree on house rules, especially since you already have goals, a plan, and direction. Does she? What else does she bring to the table for a long term relationship, and commitment?

    Moving together is easy, breaking up sucks after the honeymoon is over, and the thrill dies out.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ne-361798.html

    Is this the same girl? Or the one your trying to replace? You have been down this road before, so think hard before you jump in to fast.
    jsu0272n's Avatar
    jsu0272n Posts: 33, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Feb 1, 2010, 11:39 PM
    Not against living together, but if your hoping to play house, at least agree on house rules, especially since you already have goals, a plan, and direction. Does she? What else does she bring to the table for a long term relationship, and commitment?

    Moving together is easy, breaking up sucks after the honeymoon is over, and the thrill dies out.
    We have been helping each other through life problems for years and though we may have only been together officially for 8 months our relationship is far more mature than that. She brings a lot to the table she is hard working, and dedicated she works full time as a clerk in the er and she wants to got to school and possibly move up in the medical field as a nurse or something. However she wants to continue just working until I finish my first degree. We love each a lot and I know every couple says that but we really respect each other and want to help each other succeed and fulfill our independent goals as much as our shared goals. Not sure if that answered your question..
    jsu0272n's Avatar
    jsu0272n Posts: 33, Reputation: 2
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    #10

    Feb 4, 2010, 10:49 PM

    Well we decided just to go ahead with it her step dad got really mad but her mom was actually very nice about it all she respected her daughter for making her own decisions. She's currently looking to tranfers to a hospital closer by so she won't have to drive 40 minutes to work thanks for all the advice
    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
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    #11

    Feb 5, 2010, 01:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by jsu0272n View Post
    okay so here the break down. I'm 22 and my girlfriend is 21 we have been dating for 8 months , but have known each for five years. she is ready to move out of her parents house because she wants some independence and does not depend on them financially. I already live by myself we want to move in together but are not sure if we will be able to swing all the bills. I 'm in my third year of college and dont really have a job right now im living off student loans she is not in school and works full time at a hospital. we are also having a hard time trying to tell her parents because they are controlling and dont approve of her moving out. we really just need some perspective from outside. the bills we are not so worried about done the math and as always it will be hard but it is do able we will struggle while i finish school but who isnt struggling. any advice would be helpful.
    Moved in with my girl after only being together 6 months, just a heads up... its stressful, but once the dust settles you will never look back.
    The trick is to work together regarding finances, and all other aspects.

    Chores, making dinner etc.
    Good luck
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #12

    Feb 5, 2010, 12:42 PM

    Good luck! Living together isn't all fun and games though, so be ready because there's bound to be some rocky roads ahead.

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