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emopunk7 · Jan 28, 2010, 03:29 AM

Don't worry about meeting someone knew as it will be a while before you will be mentally prepared anyway. You need to stay busy and workout even at home and find time to do things for yourself! You will be happy and I am discovering that myself, right now! I've never tried being happy alone and maybe that's been my problem as it may be yours. It's not a bad thing though, I can tell you that. Fill your head with good thoughts. Time to take charge of this situation by the horns and stay busy when you think about it. Take a good shower or go to the cinema even alone. Find time for a college course. You get the point. Stay busy while moving on! Be tougher!!

00dude · Jan 28, 2010, 03:41 AM

I haven't had many girlfriends so I now I can be happy on my own but this relationship break up has devstated me I puta lt into it thought we both wanted the same thing, I know its not a competition but I can't feel that way about anyone else at the moment and for hr to be with someone so quick is just a huge knock back in my confidence

emopunk7 · Jan 28, 2010, 03:49 AM

You are not suppose to "feel that way about anyone else". That is why you don't. When you heal then it will happen. Reread my advice on what you need to do. That will rebuild your confidence. You seem to come on only during this time. Is this your free time? Stop dwelling on it and do something! You already know what to do. Next time you write here, tell me the good things happening in your life and what are you good at?

00dude · Jan 28, 2010, 04:01 AM

I'm working back shif this week, every time I'm busy I can do what I need to do while still thinking of my ex can't get her out of my mind, I know she isn't worth it and I'ts only making me I'll buther life is so much better than mine so I feel worthlsss

emopunk7 · Jan 28, 2010, 04:25 AM

You can't think that way. It's only true if you think it. You have a job and are alive. You just have to focus on work and make everyday exciting by doing something different after work! You can do this!

00dude · Jan 28, 2010, 01:51 PM

Maybe will try that next week am done till Monday now, have got plans for tomor and Saturday is my mates birthday so hopefully that will ocupy me for some time

chocodrip · Jan 29, 2010, 04:27 AM

Every one goes through this at least once in their life. The first thing to do is put everything she gave you, things that remind you of her in a huge box, etc and keep it somewhere where you don't see it. Always remember that there is some girl out there waiting for you to be her boy friend. Go out have fun with your friends, spend more time on things that you like doing or if you don't have any hobbies, start having one now. Keep in mind that it takes time to heal.

redhed35 · Jan 29, 2010, 06:05 AM

You have gotten lots of good advice in your other thread,if you feel you can't cope with the feelings of loss and heart break consider seeing your gp.

Breakups are hard,but people do survive,we all find are way out of the heartbreak eventually,but for some they need a little more help.

Go easy on yourself,and perhaps along with a trip to the doctor you might consider therapy as well,it really can help.

00dude · Jan 30, 2010, 03:21 AM

Well woke up this morning with her on my mind because had a dream about her and justbeen lyin in bed struggling this is getting tooo difficult to deal with when I think how long ago it happened

emopunk7 · Jan 30, 2010, 04:00 AM

Go shower fast and go back to bed.

redhed35 · Jan 30, 2010, 04:14 AM

Originally Posted by 00dude

well woke up this morning with her on my mind because had a dream about her and justbeen lyin in bed struggling this is getting tooo difficult to deal with whn i think how long ago it happened

Get up,get out into the world,how will you ever recover if you don't get pro active.

Give yourself a kick in the ar*s and do something you enjoy.

Meet the lads for a game of football,go for a run,do something active,it will release those feel good hormones and you WILL feel better.

Staying in this poor me I'm so heart broken state WILL not help you!

talaniman · Jan 30, 2010, 10:24 AM

You have been given some great advice so far, and now its up to you to put some actions in your life, because you are responsible for your own healing, and happiness. The busier you are, the better you heal.

00dude · Feb 1, 2010, 11:52 AM

I'm trying theses things but doubts still come over me because I can't help but kbow I did the best and it was over just like that

redhed35 · Feb 1, 2010, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by 00dude

im tryin theses things but doubts still come over me because i can't help but kbow i did the best and it was over just like that

You did the best you could for THAT relationship,it didn't work out,but maybe it was for the best,maybe there is a girl out there,perfect for YOU,a relationship where you do your best and it is good enough.

But that's not going to happen unless to start to put your ex behind you.

It took me bloody years to meet a guy where my best was good enough,guess what I did before him,I made a lot of big relationship mistakes,and eventually learned to love me for me and know I am bloody good enough,it was them who were not good enough for me.

Learn to love yourself again,let go of the hurt,what use is it?

00dude · Feb 1, 2010, 01:28 PM

I know its no good to anyone but I relationships actually mean something to me that's why I haven't had many, but some people can just seem to go from on to another like that, so they can obviosuly drop feelings quite easily I want to be able to do the same

redhed35 · Feb 1, 2010, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by 00dude

i know its no good to anyone but i relationships actually mean someting to me thats why i havent had many, but some people can just seem to go from on to another like that, so they can obviosuly drop feelings quite easily i want to be able to do the same

No they don't!

They hurt and cry and then pick themselves up and start again.

00dude · Feb 1, 2010, 01:34 PM

Well she didn't seem to take long in getting a new bloke everything we did how come I'm the only one that seems to remember I thought I made her happy, well she seemed it anyway neer told me any different that's why I was surprised when she dumped me even er mates said they were shocked so how do I move on that quick

redhed35 · Feb 1, 2010, 01:41 PM

Its been 3 months,have you made any progress at all?

Have you read the stickies in the relationship forum?

Have you kept busy?

Have you deleted her number,got rid of photos,old text messages etc?

Have you stopped asking about her to her friends?

3 months is not that quick,3 months is a nice chunk of time,it may take you a little longer,maybe even a year,but if you don't start making some progress,I would suggest some therapy to help get over this stickie bit.

00dude · Feb 1, 2010, 01:44 PM

I've done everything I'm supposed too deleted everything of hr more or les after 2 days an didn't seem as bad for a month then all of a sudden since then itsbeen really bad, I've read a million things about I and while they all make sense and are right I can't put it into practice and all I do is think about her plus with her being with a new gu din't exactly help either

redhed35 · Feb 1, 2010, 01:49 PM

Stop worrying about what she is doing and focus on what your going to do.

It takes time,all the things your doing are working,the benefits just are not visible yet,keep doing them,keep busy, stay no contact,start a journal if it helps,writing is a great way to reflect.