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Jane_ · Nov 18, 2009, 10:24 PM

I really hope so! Thanks Cat :)

Cat1864 · Nov 18, 2009, 10:37 PM

May your future be full of many new happy memories. :)

Jane_ · Nov 25, 2009, 06:43 PM

I relapsed :( I talked to him... he was nice. And now I can't stop thinking about him! Why do I do this to myself? Facebook really is the devil!! I was too curious so accepted his friend request.. didnt see anything too heart breaking lol but now he thinks its OK to talk all the time and I can't take it... got to block him. He'll probably wonder why though hmmm.. he has no idea I'm feeling like this...

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 06:47 PM

No contact, no contact, no contact NOOO CONTACT!! Yes I understand he was being nice (my ex fiancé does the same thing) It doesn't matter- it's a game to him. Don't ever respond again- its really not fair to the guy you're seeing now that you still think of your ex all the time.

The only other thing you could do is send him a text saying to never contact you again because you still have feelings for him and you're trying to get over him. However you're better off just ignoring him from here on out.

I wish · Nov 25, 2009, 07:31 PM

Back to square one.

It happens. It's not easy to stick with the no contact rules in the beginning. Now you have to face the consequences of your actions. You're going to be restarting the healing process.

Sometimes it's difficult to fight the urges. Try reading this sticky, especially the responses https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html

Fight the urges!

Jane_ · Nov 25, 2009, 07:33 PM

I know... I guess its just accepting that we'll never be together again... I can't seem to do it! No one knows I feel this way but I can't help it...

Jane_ · Nov 25, 2009, 07:36 PM

Its been a year since we broke up! To everyone else I have moved on even he thinks I have.. I mean I have a new boyfriend..

Ok say I block him on Facebook he is overseas at the moment but gets back in a few weeks and I'm sure he will text me at some point.. And even if I don't respond I'm still brought back to square one whenever I hear from him. Because somehow I think that he still cares if he gets in contact... logically I try and convince myself that's not true but the feelings... have a mind of their own lol

bjohnrupp · Nov 25, 2009, 07:38 PM

This may be very hard to do but you may want to change your phone number. This will end all the confusion and false hopes that you're having.

Cat1864 · Nov 25, 2009, 09:46 PM

Jane, it doesn't matter what your ex thinks or does. That is part of your problem. You keep trying to please him even when he isn't in your life. WHY? Why expend your energy on him? Why not put it into your current relationship, hobbies, volunteer work, anything other than keeping his memory alive?

rosemcs · Nov 25, 2009, 11:03 PM

-stop listening to slow & romantic music that reminds you of him,
-let time pass w/o talking to him,
-after many more months of no contact, if you do end up talking to him every now and then, you will notice that each time your feelings for him will not overwhelm you and you can detach from him,
-But mostly, IF A GUY REALLY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, HE WILL PHYSICALLY COME KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR, and since he has not done this yet, don't ever expect it.

glenboy123 · Nov 26, 2009, 12:13 AM

Not sure if this question has already been asked (couldn't find it):

I think there's another issue here.

You say you broke up about a year ago and last had any kind of sexual activity with him about 6 months ago.

How long were you both together pre break-up? Are we talking less than one year or more?

What were the reasons for the break-up?

How long was it from the time when you broke up with your ex, before you met your current boyfriend? Are we talking weeks or months?

amicon · Nov 26, 2009, 03:59 AM

I too suggest that you change your phonenumber and also remove him from all social networking sites.
You should make that decision and stick to it,however hard it is. Also your present boyfriend seems to be a rebound, which is not fair on him.
It's never a great idea to get into a new relationship until we 've healed completely from the previous one.

jmw0713 · Nov 27, 2009, 07:42 AM

You will never 100% forget him, however the memories of your life with him will become more fuzzy as time goes on.

You have a new BF, quit screwing around with your ex and make new memories with this guy!

I wish · Nov 27, 2009, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by Jane_

its been a year since we broke up! to everyone else i have moved on even he thinks i have.. i mean i have a new boyfriend..

Ok say i block him on facebook he is overseas at the moment but gets back in a few weeks and i'm sure he will txt me at some point.. And even if i dont respond im still brought back to square one whenever i hear from him. Because somehow i think that he still cares if he gets in contact....logically i try and convince myself thats not true but the feelings.... have a mind of their own lol

Who are you trying to convince? Us or yourself?

1) Having a new boyfriend doesn't mean you've moved on from your last relationship.

2) If you were really committed to blocking him out of your life, then change your phone number.

If you really wanted to get over him, you would take all necessary measures to accomplish that. The fact that you're keeping some means of communication open means that you still have some false hope.

False hope = Not moved on yet

Jane_ · Nov 29, 2009, 07:33 PM

Ok thanks so much for your replies! :)

Originally Posted by I wish

Who are you trying to convince? Us or yourself?

1) Having a new boyfriend doesn't mean you've moved on from your last relationship.[/B]

Lol I'm not trying to convince anyone just writing how I feel... obviously I haven't moved on completely hence the thread...

So I deleted and blocked him off Facebook! Been a few days and I feel better a little bit guilty which I don't understant why... hopefully this time the no contact will stick! I have tried it many times before but this time will be the last! I hope! Lol.

I REALLY DO WANT TO MOVE ON...

Why is this sooo hard!! BUT I am starting to like my new boyfriend more and more as time goes on I guess I just need time .

To answer some of your questions the ex and I were together for about a year.. which isn't really very long but I completely fell in love with him like I never have before. The reasons for the break up are mainly because of trust issues I couldn't trust him because of an incident that happened between him and another girl ( he didn't really cheat but it was dodgy) Long story there...

And I have had 2 other boyfriends apart from my current one since me and this particular ex broke up! But I always end up leaving them because they can't make me feel anywhere near the same as my ex did... I don't know why I can't seem to get over this person! :(

amicon · Nov 29, 2009, 11:17 PM

It seems you never allowed yourself time to heal after the breakup-if you go from one relationship to another you're rebounding and that's not a good way to get over the hurtful ending of a relationship.
Stay NC this time and good luck.

BARF · Nov 30, 2009, 03:11 AM

I have the same problem as you. My ex is in my head 24-7 and has been for the past 8 months. Sometimes I can't take it, I just want to break down and cry. The only difference is that I'm not lucky enough as you to have found a new companion. He sounds like a great guy so do treasure him! Because you don't know what you have until its gone. Forget the ex. There's a reason why things didn't work out for you and you will eventually realize that in the future even though you can't see it now. All the best!

Jane_ · Nov 30, 2009, 02:39 PM

Yeah I guess there is a reason... I could never see it because I believed he was the one. But there would always be little rumours about him doing things and I would try and ignore them but they would drive me crazy! Even though I'm not a jealous person... and whenever I would ask him about it he would deny it and make me think I was the one with the problem. Maybe I was but I don't know it just started sooo good! I can't believe how it ended! I always keep thinking what I could have done different for things not to have ended up like this...

But yeah I do feel as though I am slowly moving on... inch by inch... it has been a long time now. Some days like today I feel like I have... but then tomorrow I could miss him again. Its like I take one step forward but 2 steps back. I want to forget him but then I want to keep his memory... lol. Not sure if that makes sense. But my new boyfriend is great! He is actually very close to perfect... the only thing that scares me is that with me and the ex things started just like this! What if I get hurt again...