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julybaby177 · Nov 8, 2009, 10:56 AM

Girlfriend started a relationship right after breaking up and now she broke up with this guy of 6 weeks and has moved on to another. What is she thinking. I'm sure she still misses me she even tells her parents that I'm the one she will spend her life with but she needs time because she hasn't been single since 15 and now at 23 needs to be for a while.
How many rebound relationships do people get into before they deal with the break-up?

RT789 · Nov 8, 2009, 11:01 AM

Sounds like she uses rebounds to keep herself content with herself to avoid the afterward emotional break-ups.

amicon · Nov 8, 2009, 11:03 AM

I wouldn't worry about her rebounds-time to heal and get your own life back on track.

julybaby177 · Nov 8, 2009, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by RT789

Sounds like she uses rebounds to keep herself content with herself to avoid the afterward emotional break-ups.

Do you think there are hope for us. We were together for 8 years lots of history together.
Starting today I will have no contact, I'm strong during the week but on wekends I want to see her!

RT789 · Nov 8, 2009, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by julybaby177

Do you think there are hope for us. We were together for 8 years lots of history together.
Starting today I will have no contact, I'm strong during the week but on wekends I want to see her!

Not the way she's been acting like that.. No Contact is definitely what you need to do. It may or may not hit her sooner or later, but even though, No Contact will help you settle down and not be so paranoid and the such. Time to move on, and if she comes back, you'll know what to say regardless.

sully123 · Nov 8, 2009, 11:27 AM

She has to figure her life out and what she wants. Seems like she goes from one to another. That isn't fair to you! She has to get this out of her system, and then maybe move forward. You have to be strong, and get your life back on track. So she doesn't put you through this emotional rollercoaster.

julybaby177 · Nov 12, 2009, 10:39 AM

Have been in a relationship 8 years recently broke-up. Started dating immediately now I'm dating 2nd guy after breakup and I still miss my ex. Spent last night with him but coould not help thinking about the new guy I'm dating he seems to be very attentive. I think I'm falling for him. Am I in a rebound relationship, should I not see my ex, should I call it off with the new guy. Please help if you need more info I'll gladly supply I'm so confused. My ex was always the man I wanted to be with but now I'm not sure. He is waiting for me to return and now I'm not sure. It changes from day to day? Help

jaime90 · Nov 12, 2009, 10:50 AM

I would call it off with the new guy, and give yourself more time to heal. Consistently thinking about your ex while you're dating another guy, is not fair to him, and it's not fair to you. It also isn't fair to the guy you REALLY love. Love is a CHOICE... they say that the "in love" feeling wears out after a couple years. Then, love has to become a conscious choice. So CHOOSE to love your original boyfriend if he is the one you want to marry, and prove that to him, by breaking up with this guy and returning. If you decide not to return, you need to cut all contact with him.

amicon · Nov 12, 2009, 10:51 AM

Was the breakup mutual?
How old are you both?
Generally speaking its not a good idea to go from one relationship to another so yes that sounds like a rebound-you need time to heal from the split and if you keep seeing your ex it only confuses matters.

julybaby177 · Nov 12, 2009, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Was the breakup mutual?
How old are you both?
Generally speaking its not a good idea to go from one relationship to another so yes that sounds like a rebound-you need time to heal from the split and if you keep seeing your ex it only confuses matters.

No I broke up and move out. He is 24, me 23

A4Effort · Nov 12, 2009, 11:13 AM

If you still have feelings for your ex then I would not continue being in this new relationship. You need to enter the new relationship without any baggage from the previous relationship. You will find yourself comparing the new guy to the ex. I would take some time off and just be single. Once you have your emotions in control then go look for someone new.

Make sure that you are able to be happy by yourself too.
"A relationship should be a bonus to your life, not life itself."

redhed35 · Nov 12, 2009, 11:37 AM

Depending on the circumstances of the breakup with your ex,I can't really offer much advice there... but remember there was a good reason for the break up... I assume!

As for the new guy,your going around with your head messed up,your heart celo taped together,and your emotionally vunerable... falling for someone who is sweet and nice to you will be easy,but.. theres always a but... at the slightest bump in the new relationship you will most likely feel very hurt... it would be like bumping a fresh bruise...

You need time on your own... to get perspective... and to be honest,the new guy is not getting the best of you because your still hurting.

slapshot_oi · Nov 12, 2009, 11:46 AM

Yep, it's rebound through and through. You're seeing both guys and have conflicting feelings. It sucks for the new guy that he's already been cheated on, so that'll kill the relationship anyway.

I've been him a time or two, but I've also been in your shoes, too. No relationship is going to work now, and if it does, you'll find yourself moving way too fast.

Stay single.

julybaby177 · Nov 12, 2009, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by jaime90

I would call it off with the new guy, and give yourself more time to heal. consistantly thinking about your ex while you're dating another guy, is not fair to him, and it's not fair to you. It also isn't fair to the guy you REALLY love. Love is a CHOICE...they say that the "in love" feeling wears out after a couple years. Then, love has to become a concious choice. So CHOOSE to love your original boyfriend if he is the one you want to marry, and prove that to him, by breaking up with this guy and returning. If you decide not to return, you need to cut all contact with him.

Thank you

2ndTime · Nov 12, 2009, 12:35 PM

You are still very young. However, if you keep on living the life and continue like this you will only be hurting yourself in the future. I agree with others that you need time to think, even if that means staying away from both your ex and new guy, so you can think clearly to decide who you really want to be with.

julybaby177 · Nov 12, 2009, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Yep, it's rebound through and through. You're seeing both guys and have conflicting feelings. It sucks for the new guy that he's already been cheated on, so that'll kill the relationship anyway.

I've been him a time or two, but I've also been in your shoes, too. No relationship is going to work now, and if it does, you'll find yourself moving way too fast.

Stay single.

THank You