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Kylaa · Aug 31, 2009, 12:50 PM

Hi, I have to get some opinions on this because I am finding this hard to get my head round for some reason, so any help would be appreciated.

Ok when I was in high school, I used to hang around with a group of boys n girls, one boy I fancied but he never fancied me back, still we were friends though because our 2 friends went out together so we all used to see each other all the time. We lost touch after I left school at 16.

Skip to today, I am now 28 and I get this message from this boy on Friends Reunited saying hi and we exchanged a couple of messages before asked if we could meet for a coffee or a drink to catch up. Thinking nothing off it I gave him my number and didn't hear from him. A few weeks has passed and he has now asked to be my friend on Facebook. His status is "In a relationship" and when we chatted quickly yesterday he said he had another baby the other day and there has been 3 before that.

He sent me a message today again asking if we could meet for a catch up. I'm not the kind of girl who has a lot of male friends and if I was his girlfriend I wouldn't be happy about my man meeting up with a girl from school. Please tell me if I am just being paranoid but something just doesn't feel right about this situation? My instincts are telling me no??

I wish · Aug 31, 2009, 01:10 PM

I would say trust your instincts. There are too many red flags.

He's in a relationship so he's off limits. So whatever intentions he has to talk to you can't be good. That's not the way to make new friends.

He has children if I'm not mistake, so he already has a lot of baggage.

Streer clear and move along.

kctiger · Aug 31, 2009, 01:11 PM

I think you are making a bigger deal about this than it should be. If you don't want to meet up for a cup of coffee then don't. I also don't think he is violating any sort of rules to a relationship either. He asked you out for coffee, not dinner and a movie. It is all right to do that. I don't see anything wrong with reconnecting with an old friend... men are allowed to have female friends, and vice versa.

I wish · Aug 31, 2009, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

I think you are making a bigger deal about this than it should be. If you don't want to meet up for a cup of coffee then don't. I also don't think he is violating any sort of rules to a relationship either. He asked you out for coffee or lunch, not dinner and a movie. It is alright to do that. I don't see anything wrong with reconnecting with an old friend...men are allowed to have female friends, and vice versa.

In a normal situation I would agree. But if the OP has so many doubts, then she's going to be very biased when she meets him. That's not the way to see an old friend.

OP, if you think that you have too many concerns, then don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. But if you understand what KC is saying, that you're in control of the situation regardless of his intentions (i.e. you don't have to do anything you don't want), then see him.

kctiger · Aug 31, 2009, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by I wish

In a normal situation I would agree. But if the OP has so many doubts, then she's going to be very biased when she meets him. That's not the way to see an old friend.

OP, if you think that you have too many concerns, then don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. But if you understand what KC is saying, that you're in control of the situation regardless of his intentions (i.e. you don't have to do anything you don't want), then go ahead and see him.

For some reason I am screwing a lot of posts up today. I meant to put in my first post to this question to follow her instincts.

I just don't think it is a big deal. You either meet him or you don't. If you aren't comfortable with it then no gain and no loss. Simple as that.