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none12345;1633451, Would you guys fight for unrequited love, a lost love?
How far would you go?
When is it time to let go and move on?
When should you fight till the very end?
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In my case I think she had a change of heart 6 months ago when she said '' My feelings have changed for you'' you think I should have ended it then ? Can they lose their feelings and later find them back? Or once they are gone they are gone for good? |
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Doesn't matter what they do. You have to look out for yourself. No one knows what another human will do, or motives for doing what they do.
That's not important any more, as what you do about it, is what really matters, so be about you, and not them. Sounds simple, and is, but its one of the hardest things you will ever do, cope with your losses, and heal. |
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 Originally Posted by talaniman
"Believe nothing no matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense. You yourself, as much as any one in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. There is no fire like greed, no crime like hatred, no sorrow like separation, no sickness like hunger of heart, and no joy like the joy of freedom. Health and contentment are your greatest possessions, And freedom your greatest joy. Look with in, be still, free from fear and attachment. Know the sweet joy of living in the way. The thought manifest as the word, the word manifest as the deed, the deed develops into habit, and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and it’s ways with care, and let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings. There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt, doubt separates people, it is a poison that disintegrates friendships, and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts, it is a sword that kills. All conditioned things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence. Do not believe in anything simply because you heard it, do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many, do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books, do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders, do not believe in traditions because they have bin handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." - Buddha Take it as you will, these words are wiser than many will ever understand. Take the time to understand them, and you'll find their meaning... |
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I agree, that is an excellent idea. Take the time you need. Just a little bit of human nature knowledge that may help you. Just remember that each person, each individual upon this earth has thier own "free will" and has the ability, just as you. to choose what they feel is right for themselves. You may be telling yourself that this person is your true love and you will move heaven and earth to be with them, but they may have a completely different idea, or direction that they want for themselves. |
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If they choose a different direction then it's time to let go. If their priority is not to be with you then there is nothing you can do. Let them go and if destiny decides that you will cross roads again in the future then accept the situation you are in right now. |
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How about trying to win someone's love? Or a lost love back? What do you guys think in that? |
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Originally Posted by none12345
It's not about one compeating for another's attention. Other wise, you'll be doing so for the rest of your life. DO you really want to compeate for your "loved one's" Attention/ Affection/ Love? Also that sounds kind of shallow, like you see the person as only valuing sertain aspects of an individual, and not the entire individual. You can't hide yourself for ever, to do so would be like a great painter not painting, but learing to play guitar for his girl. They get together, then a few years later she starts to like guitar music. Later he picks it back up but another guy who kept practicing, is way better and she decides he is the one she wants. See what I mean? It is your choice as you know, but why try to impress some one, when they either love "you", or they don't. If they are not willing to love me because of who I am, then its not a relation ship I want. I will never change for some one again, I am my own person and can make choices for myself, but I will compramise for a women, I love. Provided she and I are together. Show yourself some self respect by accepting you don't belong with a person who doesn't love you as you are. That's what I say. |
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Originally Posted by Nestorian
The thing is I would want things to work out with her if it can. And lots of people tell me to move on but I don't know if I would ever find someone that I would love again or want to be with. I also don't want to live in regret not knowing I didn't fight for her or tried my best for her afterwards when I think about it. |
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Also, I'm willing to bet it would end in pain for the one trying to "impress" the girl. YouTube - Sara Bareilles - Love Song Like she says, "I'm not going to write you alove song, cause you ask for it, cause you need one. I'm not going to write you a love song, cause you tell me it's make or break in this, if you're on your way, i"m not going to write you to stay... " - Sara Bareilles Love song. Yes I'm a guy, and yes I like this song. I also like pantera. Walk. YouTube - pantera: walk Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence One step from lashing out at you... You want in to get under my skin And call yourself a friend I've got more friends like you What do I do? Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I've been Belong You can't be something you're not Be yourself, by yourself Stay away from me A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time Respect, walk Run your mouth when I'm not around It's easy to achieve You cry to weak friends that sympathize Can you hear the violins playing you song? Those same friends tell me your every word Are you talking to me? No way punk Its' about people being something they are not. It's not wise to try and impress some one to try and "win" their heart, because you are who you are, and you can only change for yourself, and that's true. It's also to do with how people talk about others behind their back and well their true intentions, or selves come out. Very uncool. |
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Yah well me and her was once together but we broke up. There is the "other guy". She wants to be with him right now and it hurts me every time I see them together. She was my first love and first everything and so was I. how can she move on so fast after we broke up >_< |
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Originally Posted by none12345
I did, I tried as hard as I could. But she left me any way. I know now that you can not try to change for some one, because if you do, you will not be happy. That is the sad part. What about all those women who think their men will change? Sure the man could, but they have to do it for themselves or else they'll resent the perosn they so called Changed for. Or it could be the other way around. The cold hard truth is yes I wished she'd have tried harder for me, as I gave everything for her. I left my family, frinds, schooling, and any hope of being near them unless she left me. So whe she did leave me, I hated myself, her and I coldn't stand that I stayed with her while she dated some other guy for three weeks and I kknew! I still haven't forgiven myself. No I deserved and deserve more respect then that, and if I don't repscet myself then why should any one else. Dude, don't go down that road, I mean if you really want to, do it but just know... No matter how much you change, if you don't respect yourself, and have your own standards, and respect that. She will not care for you like you want. You can not make some one love you, they simply do or do not. Yes they can grow to love you, but remember, if you are not yourself, then you are not in love... Now that I think about it, I'd not want a girl who does a lot for me just to make me happy, I'd want a girl who respectes her self, and is happy with out me, so I can be happy with her, and respect her as she would respect me. Mutaul realtionships are the strongest. The balance in even and give take, take give, etc. IF there is no chance, then let it go brother. None of us know if we'll ever find some one, or we'll ever fall in love again. That's the risk we take. We have to take it one step at a time, day by day. YouTube - everybody's free to wear sunscreen There are millions of people on earth, so how do you know you won't meet some one again. You can niether deny, nor confirme that you will or will not meet a women you love. But the probability that you will is pretty high, due to the number of people out there. Love Is something that comes to those who wait, and learn to be themselves and comfortable with themselves. Give it time. You never know though so choose what you will, but know it's your life, so live it for you!! |
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I still hurt after 3-4 years of not being with her, and I can hardly stand to think of her with out feeling the tears in my eyes. My first and last girl friend. It hurts, but you'd be wiser to move on. If you really want to try and get her back by all means, go a head, but I fear few would feel bad for you if it blew up in your face. I advice against it, but it's your choice. |
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Oh if you don't mind to share your story? But yah I'm really confused right now a part of me tell me to fight for her but the other part is too tired and think I deserve way more than this. Its so hard to see her with another guy >__<. Everyone is telling me to move on. Im not sure if that's what I want to do but I know that is what I should do. |
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I have a lot more to say, if you want, just ask your questions and I'll answer, but I have to go now so just ry to take care dude.
There are other things to love, like playing a guitar, or talking to friends, learning about space, meeting new girls, and listening to music YouTube - Ana Free sings Nickelback (Savin Me) YouTube - Three days grace - Pain YouTube - Crossfade-Cold YouTube - Duality by Bayside with lyrics YouTube - Everybody By Stabilo Boss the new version! YouTube - Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (Official music video) HQ (embrace your dreams ZACK/ Cloud. Protect your Honor.) YouTube - Linkin Park - Numb (Official Video & w/ Lyrics) YouTube - why should i worry - oliver and company YouTube - Colbie Caillat | Battle Try that on. YEah, I know where is all the heavy stuff. Haha. Sorry dude, its what I got for now... Peace and kindness be with you. |
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all right dewd thanks for talking to me yah I don't listen to very heavy stuff either if it sounds good, its all good =P your last girlfriend? T_T I might just end up like that too lol but yah at least I'm know I'm not alone. Laterz |
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Yah post what you got to say when you have time okies? Thanks =P |
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Originally Posted by none12345
You have to choose what do you want? Where do you see yourself in five ten years? What is her life's plans? Do you want a great job, will you be going to school far away or in town, what are her plans? Does she love you, or is she just playing the field? She may decide latter on that you are the guy, but if you push hard now while she "needs" her space then she gets annoyed and then her view of you changes. It is all up in the air, you would be wise to figure yourself out, and as hard as it is, if she chose some one else, you don't get to choose what to do, because she is no longer yours to love. You can love her, but her attention is taken. Hard hurt full, as it is you have to accept that, or you will run the risk of inapropriate behaviour and she will not like you after that. Jelousy is a very danersous thing. “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” _yoda Your fear of losing her will turn out to taint any of your attempts to impress or win her back. Do you understand that, I know mine did. "Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.” - Yoda Rather then her dying, she is simply leaving you, but they say it's still comparably the same in feelings. “Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” -Yoda What are you afraid of? Really why fear losing a chance here and now when she is already with some one. If you take her form him, whos' to say that she won't leave you for some one..? “The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”- Yoda No one knows what will happen, so we try not to dwell on it, or it will make us insane with fear, or anger, frustration. Well, my story is long and painful, but I suppose no more so than any one else's. I'll tell it to you tomorrow, if that is what you would like... I'll explain in deeper detail what ever you ask about. So ask what you can. I have only had on GF, and she left me, for another guy. I gave my life to be with her, forsaking everything I loved, except her. Ver unwise on my part, and now I must learn a few very valuable lessons, hard, ones at that. Take cake brother. |
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Originally Posted by none12345
As metallica says, "By myself, but not alone... Any where I roam." Peace out little dude. |
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Okies explain it to me in detail tomm =P its like 5am now I got to crash lol >_< but yah ill check here when I wake up. Peace out little dude?? >_< I'm not little LOL but I do feel like its almost time to settle down. I'm almost 20 now >_< But yah talk to you laterz. |
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